(no subject)
ok, this is the third time i've started this entry, over a week since i last updated, it's been...interesting.
to start with, my cold is gone! woo
i've been in coventry for a week, which was amazing. seeing jenn and alex made everything so much better they are the most amazing people.
i would try and do this by days, but everything has blurred together so much, i'll start with what i can remember
highlights include...
jenn going down on my for absolutly ages when i was still feeling shitty because of my cold, miraculously it made me feel a hell of a lot better
being fisted for the first time...which i was a little scared about, but it felt amazing and left me very happy
alex going down on me, after taking me out for dinner and generally being the nicest, most adorable boyfriend you could ever hope to have.
i have to say that the most plesurable experiance of the week was being beaten with my belt, it started off with jenn spanking me, and then alex, and then she got my belt and started hitting us and it just turned me on so much and then she got the vibrator...and alex took over with the belt, and the combination of sensations was so good. and left me feeling so relaxed and wonderful, and jenn and alex trying to convince me that they actually did damage and that i was broked, and i didn't believe them because it didn't hurt...it still doesn't hurt..all i can feel is this lovely glowy painwarmth when i sit down, which is a rather nice reminder in my book.
the saturday night party, hosted by rainbowhair, at which we instigated a partially clothed puppy pile, with much biting and cuddling a kissing. it was very nice. i got bitten a lot, many many bruises to be questioned about att college today, along with a rather fetching scratch down my right cheek. we met currytastegrit and he bit and cuddled me and was a generally lovely person.
and i got to cuddle and watch matt kiss jenn and alex which made me feel all frubbly
and alex and kyly and jenn firebreathed
we had our own party on the friday night, which not many people turned up to, but it was still fun,
i made lots of food, pumpkin tartlettes and gingerbread and triple layer chocolate cake and roasted pumpkin seeds ans chili chocolate cupcakes.
and jenn carved the pumpkin, and did scraping to make shading, and it was a witch in front of the stars and moon and looked amazing
and we watched Party Monster
and me and alex behave kittenesque/skunkesque which was fun, and we licked absinthe off the floor...and each other and i had ears, and a tail, which made me very happy indeed...
maybe i shouldn't admit that so readily
i scared a few people at college today by being open about exactly where my bruises/scratches/bite marks came from
so now everybody knows that i'm kinky, as well as pansexual, as well as poly...they seem to be taking it surprisingly well for vanilla straight kids, although they haven't quite grasped how people can enjoy pain, they kinda take the "whatever floats your boat" route
however there were bad moments i freaked out a couple of times
once when jenn started asking me to make descisions ad think about change, i freaked and cried for ages, and banged my head against the wall, and hurt jenn when she tried to stop me, which i still feel really guilty about.
once when i got impulses to hurt jenn and alex and was scared to touch them because the urge to bite and tear and hurt was so strong i couldn't stop myself if i was near them, that really scared me, because i've never been like that before
there was quite a lot of sadness, because i'm always reminded that i've got to come back here, i wish i could just chuck this all in and go and live with them, but that's not the way it works. so in the meantime i'll be good and do what i'm told, and take my beatings when i get them.
i went on a photo shoot with alex this week, and he made me not wear underwear, and a skirt that kept blowing up, but i suppose it was fair since he was in underwear or less most of the day, looking absolutly amazing, i was so horny all day, whether from watching or from not wearing underwear i'm not sure...but it was good.
i had my first session with my counsellor lady today...i told her about my bad patches this week, and abouut how much i miss jenn and alex and how sad i get, and i'm going back for six weeks.
i keep having dreams about marriage...picking out wedding rings...getting married, being on honeymoon, it's nice, but sad because it's so far away
jenn and alex are planning on coming up for rememberance sunday at RHS which ould be interesting...i get to introduce them to all my old friends...
first day back at college today, we made vinaigrette, mayonnaise, green salad, tomato salad and potato salad, i did well thankfully, even though i came close to fainting about an hour into class and had to go get air, and then chef gave the whole class a break to get water and edibles, i felt better after that but it pissed me off because it was proving the point that i'm weak, although as jenn pointed out i'd had very little to eat for a while...so that may have been it.
mummy bought me the newest Anthony Bourdain book The Nasty Bits which i'm reading bits of, as good as all his others, it's reminding me of some of the reasons i'm entering this boneheaded profesion
alex bought me a dead mouse isn't it cute?
that's about all i can think of for now
i'm sad to be back in london, but it's only 11 days
i love them so much
to start with, my cold is gone! woo
i've been in coventry for a week, which was amazing. seeing jenn and alex made everything so much better they are the most amazing people.
i would try and do this by days, but everything has blurred together so much, i'll start with what i can remember
highlights include...
jenn going down on my for absolutly ages when i was still feeling shitty because of my cold, miraculously it made me feel a hell of a lot better
being fisted for the first time...which i was a little scared about, but it felt amazing and left me very happy
alex going down on me, after taking me out for dinner and generally being the nicest, most adorable boyfriend you could ever hope to have.
i have to say that the most plesurable experiance of the week was being beaten with my belt, it started off with jenn spanking me, and then alex, and then she got my belt and started hitting us and it just turned me on so much and then she got the vibrator...and alex took over with the belt, and the combination of sensations was so good. and left me feeling so relaxed and wonderful, and jenn and alex trying to convince me that they actually did damage and that i was broked, and i didn't believe them because it didn't hurt...it still doesn't hurt..all i can feel is this lovely glowy painwarmth when i sit down, which is a rather nice reminder in my book.
the saturday night party, hosted by rainbowhair, at which we instigated a partially clothed puppy pile, with much biting and cuddling a kissing. it was very nice. i got bitten a lot, many many bruises to be questioned about att college today, along with a rather fetching scratch down my right cheek. we met currytastegrit and he bit and cuddled me and was a generally lovely person.
and i got to cuddle and watch matt kiss jenn and alex which made me feel all frubbly
and alex and kyly and jenn firebreathed
we had our own party on the friday night, which not many people turned up to, but it was still fun,
i made lots of food, pumpkin tartlettes and gingerbread and triple layer chocolate cake and roasted pumpkin seeds ans chili chocolate cupcakes.
and jenn carved the pumpkin, and did scraping to make shading, and it was a witch in front of the stars and moon and looked amazing
and we watched Party Monster
and me and alex behave kittenesque/skunkesque which was fun, and we licked absinthe off the floor...and each other and i had ears, and a tail, which made me very happy indeed...
maybe i shouldn't admit that so readily
i scared a few people at college today by being open about exactly where my bruises/scratches/bite marks came from
so now everybody knows that i'm kinky, as well as pansexual, as well as poly...they seem to be taking it surprisingly well for vanilla straight kids, although they haven't quite grasped how people can enjoy pain, they kinda take the "whatever floats your boat" route
however there were bad moments i freaked out a couple of times
once when jenn started asking me to make descisions ad think about change, i freaked and cried for ages, and banged my head against the wall, and hurt jenn when she tried to stop me, which i still feel really guilty about.
once when i got impulses to hurt jenn and alex and was scared to touch them because the urge to bite and tear and hurt was so strong i couldn't stop myself if i was near them, that really scared me, because i've never been like that before
there was quite a lot of sadness, because i'm always reminded that i've got to come back here, i wish i could just chuck this all in and go and live with them, but that's not the way it works. so in the meantime i'll be good and do what i'm told, and take my beatings when i get them.
i went on a photo shoot with alex this week, and he made me not wear underwear, and a skirt that kept blowing up, but i suppose it was fair since he was in underwear or less most of the day, looking absolutly amazing, i was so horny all day, whether from watching or from not wearing underwear i'm not sure...but it was good.
i had my first session with my counsellor lady today...i told her about my bad patches this week, and abouut how much i miss jenn and alex and how sad i get, and i'm going back for six weeks.
i keep having dreams about marriage...picking out wedding rings...getting married, being on honeymoon, it's nice, but sad because it's so far away
jenn and alex are planning on coming up for rememberance sunday at RHS which ould be interesting...i get to introduce them to all my old friends...
first day back at college today, we made vinaigrette, mayonnaise, green salad, tomato salad and potato salad, i did well thankfully, even though i came close to fainting about an hour into class and had to go get air, and then chef gave the whole class a break to get water and edibles, i felt better after that but it pissed me off because it was proving the point that i'm weak, although as jenn pointed out i'd had very little to eat for a while...so that may have been it.
mummy bought me the newest Anthony Bourdain book The Nasty Bits which i'm reading bits of, as good as all his others, it's reminding me of some of the reasons i'm entering this boneheaded profesion
alex bought me a dead mouse isn't it cute?
that's about all i can think of for now
i'm sad to be back in london, but it's only 11 days
i love them so much