Alucard☦thus spoke zarathustra

[bloodarthsis]

Ten days sufficed; in no case, neither for the first nor for the third and last, did I require more.

Comments

[xxdabiffestxx]

Is you a gypsy?

[bloodarthsis]

No.

[xxdabiffestxx]

Are you sure? Because one time my mates and I was at Blackpool and they had this gypsy telling fortunes and shit and all the things she said was like dead vague and weird-arse and shit and sounded just like what you said there when you said that thing.

[xspitfireflyerx]

Plus like, isn't they from Romania or some shit like that?

[xxdabiffestxx]

No blad that's Romans isn't it? And they is like old and dead on account of catching cold from going out in bedsheets.

[xspitfireflyerx]

Well he is like, saying he is like 500 years old or some shit, yeah? That is like, well old, older than your mum and shit.

[bloodarthsis]

You idiots.

[xxdabiffestxx]

No, you, you massive gaylord!

[bloodarthsis]

Really? No.

[xxdabiffestxx]

You like straight called my mate an idiot, which is, like, insulting and against his rights because it can cause him mental distress and shit, and also if you is like 500 years old like Spud says then you is like a pensioner or a dinosaur and should be off looking at trains or whatever old people do, not giving my mate abuse and shit.

[bloodarthsis]

[ Somewhere, Alucard is facepalming ]

How can I put this simply?

I'm a vampire and my favorite past time is having sex with women.

[xxdabiffestxx]

TMI, MATE, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE! You can get an ASBO for just walking up to people and telling them about your sex life!

[xspitfireflyerx]

Look what you've done blad, you've gone and caused my mate mental distress and shit, which is against our human rights and shit, yeah, and we could both have you writ up and shit.

[bloodarthsis]

Uh huh.

I think my whole sex life was published in a little book called Dracula.

[xxdabiffestxx]

I don't want to read about some ancient geezer doing it, do you think I'm a bender?

[bloodarthsis]

Probably.