a summer affair (march 30, 2007)
walking playfully
out for coffee
teasing, laughing
trying to nonchalantly hold my hand
i hate coffee…
i’m getting married in two days, he said
we stopped
the world stopped (again)
i smiled forcibly
not uttering a single word
then finally,
we can go on opposite directions
and pretend this didn’t happen
i head myself say
at the back of mind i see myself walking away
momentary pause
gently calculating
right…what about…everything?
what about…last summer?
he chided in a guise of contempt
God why does he have to remind me
the seemingly endless summer affair
the dance, the song
the breeze Saturday night
all came back to me vividly…
do you know this song?
he asked as a way to distract me
as he locks his arm on my hip
and i said, i love this song
all too anticipated for me
he moved his cheeks closer to mine
as he started to sing
his voice dropping to a whisper
the song all too familiar
his voice all too ethereal for my ear
then the world stopped…
for a while
the sand, the ocean
the bonfire faded away
everything was suddenly unimportant
only this
only this mattered…
now i’m stuck on one heel
blindsided, dumbfounded
caught unexpectedly
as i start to take a cigarette
buying time for a perfect comeback
his hand suddenly held my trembling arm
i looked up with a tear held back
and then we continued to walk…
to the world
we are walking playfully
out for coffee
teasing, laughing seemingly
he’s holding my hand quietly
God i hated coffee…