Japan, Part III
The epic continues. This time: Saturday.
Also, I know it's TLDR; just pick out the paragraphs that seem fun.
It's always a little strange to wake up someplace new. I panicked a little, before calming down and remembering, "oh right, I'm in Japan." It was quiet and dark in the hotel room. The shades were thicker than I thought and the morning was hazy, making it hard to tell what time it was. I hadn't remembered my DS had a time/alarm function at this stage of the trip, so I was operating almost entirely by Cory's Cell Phone. I laid there for a half hour, trying to work up the courage to wrestle with the shower.
Cory came to my door pretending to be an angry Japanese man. I didn't realize it then - you know, because my Japanese, it is terrible - but he was pretending to be a police officer, and demanded I open the door. Thankfully, I was not asleep when he did it, nor did I understand him, because in either case I probably would have jerked open the door and thrown my passport at him, like it was a deadly ninja-star, and then I would have fled the premises in nothing but my underwear, running all the way to the embassy yelling, "Amnesty! Amnesty!"
Once my "wake up call" had departed, I took a shower, during which I almost fell out twice, and kept trying to figure out which end of the shower stall I should leave uncovered, as the aforementioned shower curtain was about 6 inches too small no matter how I arranged it. I also opted not to shave at this juncture; the same instinct the forces me to save all potions for the final boss kept nagging at me that I didn't want to "use up" the only razor I brought, as though they were rare gems thought unavailable throughout the nation of Japan.
We said goodbye to Otsu...whatever. The place we were staying. We got to have our first experience with the lockers that are readily available at many of the train stations throughout Japan. Their existence is a definite boon, but oddly, they only take change and there was never a change machine I could decipher anywhere near them. We almost thought we'd have to tie a rope to Cory and send him out into the world to hunt for change, but we were all thirsty enough to break a 1000 on some water in a vending machine nearby, which helpfully produced the required coinage.
These vending machines are everywhere. If you think Coke machines are prevalent in America, you've never been to Japan. They're kind of a crap shoot, but they almost invariably contain water and usually Pocari Sweat. I never touched the latter, sticking mainly to water. Some of the water I had in Japan was delicious by my highly strict standards of water, but some of it was less good. One kind in particular - one that I never had translated for more and thankfully never had again - had a strange, faint milky taste and bizarrely smooth texture, almost like it had the slightest hint of gelatin in it. Like I said, crap shoot. Coke is also available, but I quickly decided I needed to either stay hydrated or try weird shit, because I certainly did not cross the pacific to have Coke. Coke is for pussies.
Harajuku
We never ran into Gwen Stefani, but she is right about people from Harajuku being dressed up. The first thing we noticed about Harajuku... well actually, the first thing we noticed, other than a handful of Lolis walking around, was that we were all starving. We proceeded down a main street, looking for something to eat, and I will say that Harajuku is a very pretty district, especially along the main streets. You still have tall buildings and advertisements, but there's something more planned about it that seems to remind me of New York.
We stopped at a place called "Jonathan's" (see Crystal's post), which was supposed to be Western food. I ordered a kind of shrimp-scampi. I learned two things quickly about it. One, is that in Japan, they keep the head and tail on the shrimp, making their consumption more complicated, but it is also slightly more delicious. And second, pasta in Japan is always weird unless it's actually noodles. There's something that's hard to put my finger on, but all the times I got any kind of pasta dish, it always tasted slightly off, as though it were made from grain, eggs, and demon seed. My meal also contained tiny octopi. These things had their heads/guts/bones removed, but were still mostly whole. You could see the suckers and everything. They tasted like generic seafood, but they were like chewing on gentle rubber.
We left Jonathan's, but before hitting the market in Harajuku, Cory took us to one of the more tourist-friendly parts of the area, which was this huge temple in the middle of the city. This huge temple is also located inside of a surprisingly large forest. In the middle of Tokyo. It was my first real encounter with the Cicada, which is a bug we didn't see a lot of but which won't SHUT UP. EVER. Fill a vacuum with pennies, then stick your head inside of it. That's what it sounds like in every wooded area in Japan. It was slightly cooler in the woods, which was nice, and we made our way past an impressive gate. We weren't filled in on the proper gate-crossing etiquette at the time, but you're supposed to clap twice, bow twice, and then clap again, because the gods are both fickle and hard of hearing. I was really nervous about all the temple etiquette actually, but when I noticed Japanese people don't really seem to care about it themselves, I cared much less.
I prayed at the temple, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to say. You know, like birthday wishes.
We were already starting to get pretty tired when we packed out of there, but the Loli's awaited, so we pressed on. I didn't really buy much of anything while walking around the market, but I did get to take in a lot of the sights. It is very easy to lose your friends, family, loved-ones and limbs while walking around the crowded, tiny side-streets that make up Harajuku. Very few of the stores could be said to be indoors in any real sense, though many extended indoors, like a cave that extends deep into the Underdark, only instead of Dark Elves, there's shoes or kimonos. I didn't get to hang out with Cory or Eric much here because it was impossible to find them.
We checked out a few "alternative" stores (meaning places that have things with spike or skulls on them) and I felt soothed by their presence. I was disheartened at how small clothing was, though this is mostly conjecture and eyeballing because I felt too sweaty to try on anything. I don't mean, "oh ha ha, Japanese people be tiny", because frankly, they weren't much smaller than me. It's just a different build, and that build has tiny shoulders. I do not have tiny shoulders, Internet. I would rip their shirts asunder. Like a much smaller, younger, Hulk Hogan.
This is also where Cory picked up his infamous Banana-Hat, which is a hat that is also a banana. It has to be seen to be understood, but suffice to say, it enhanced Cory. It was a Cory amplifier. If there was a Cory Olympics, it would be controversial, because of it's enhancement properties. If he ever gives a eulogy, he is going to be wearing it. It is a thing of awe and beauty. It is not just a novelty hat. I'll talk more about Cory in particular later, but suffice to say an awesome dude with a hilarious hat is a spectacular thing, especially when you're in motherfucking Japan.
We crashed at a cafe for a few minutes, where upon I got some Mango Juice. I actually wanted to try some milk, but I panicked and ordered Mango Juice because it seemed familiar and it was the first thing on the menu. That happened a lot actually. Some nice Japanese person would ask me what I wanted, and then I'd have to do a mental tap dance as I figured out if I wanted to try myself or just give in to staring desperately at Cory to make food come out. I got more comfortable as the week got on, but on Saturday, I was still where my training pants, so I blurted out a need for the juice.
We went upstairs to this really nice little pad and relaxed for a few minutes, our tired feet and sweaty bodies demanding recompense. What was creepy about it, was that for some reason, everything in there was super loud. Or rather, the room was quiet, which made every noise way louder than it would have been. I can't remember if Eric was talking about someone getting raped, or if Cory was talking about barfing, or what, but I remember momentarily forgetting that no one around us could understand English enough to crack our code. Cory did remind me occasionally though, that Tokyo especially has a fair number of English speaking ninjas who will sneak up on you. I was always concerned that I would happen to blurt out, "LOLZ JAPS PEARL HARBOR" right around the time such a person would round a corner, but thankfully and with much self-control I managed to keep myself from blurting out atrocities.
More to come in Part IV!
Also, I know it's TLDR; just pick out the paragraphs that seem fun.
It's always a little strange to wake up someplace new. I panicked a little, before calming down and remembering, "oh right, I'm in Japan." It was quiet and dark in the hotel room. The shades were thicker than I thought and the morning was hazy, making it hard to tell what time it was. I hadn't remembered my DS had a time/alarm function at this stage of the trip, so I was operating almost entirely by Cory's Cell Phone. I laid there for a half hour, trying to work up the courage to wrestle with the shower.
Cory came to my door pretending to be an angry Japanese man. I didn't realize it then - you know, because my Japanese, it is terrible - but he was pretending to be a police officer, and demanded I open the door. Thankfully, I was not asleep when he did it, nor did I understand him, because in either case I probably would have jerked open the door and thrown my passport at him, like it was a deadly ninja-star, and then I would have fled the premises in nothing but my underwear, running all the way to the embassy yelling, "Amnesty! Amnesty!"
Once my "wake up call" had departed, I took a shower, during which I almost fell out twice, and kept trying to figure out which end of the shower stall I should leave uncovered, as the aforementioned shower curtain was about 6 inches too small no matter how I arranged it. I also opted not to shave at this juncture; the same instinct the forces me to save all potions for the final boss kept nagging at me that I didn't want to "use up" the only razor I brought, as though they were rare gems thought unavailable throughout the nation of Japan.
We said goodbye to Otsu...whatever. The place we were staying. We got to have our first experience with the lockers that are readily available at many of the train stations throughout Japan. Their existence is a definite boon, but oddly, they only take change and there was never a change machine I could decipher anywhere near them. We almost thought we'd have to tie a rope to Cory and send him out into the world to hunt for change, but we were all thirsty enough to break a 1000 on some water in a vending machine nearby, which helpfully produced the required coinage.
These vending machines are everywhere. If you think Coke machines are prevalent in America, you've never been to Japan. They're kind of a crap shoot, but they almost invariably contain water and usually Pocari Sweat. I never touched the latter, sticking mainly to water. Some of the water I had in Japan was delicious by my highly strict standards of water, but some of it was less good. One kind in particular - one that I never had translated for more and thankfully never had again - had a strange, faint milky taste and bizarrely smooth texture, almost like it had the slightest hint of gelatin in it. Like I said, crap shoot. Coke is also available, but I quickly decided I needed to either stay hydrated or try weird shit, because I certainly did not cross the pacific to have Coke. Coke is for pussies.
Harajuku
We never ran into Gwen Stefani, but she is right about people from Harajuku being dressed up. The first thing we noticed about Harajuku... well actually, the first thing we noticed, other than a handful of Lolis walking around, was that we were all starving. We proceeded down a main street, looking for something to eat, and I will say that Harajuku is a very pretty district, especially along the main streets. You still have tall buildings and advertisements, but there's something more planned about it that seems to remind me of New York.
We stopped at a place called "Jonathan's" (see Crystal's post), which was supposed to be Western food. I ordered a kind of shrimp-scampi. I learned two things quickly about it. One, is that in Japan, they keep the head and tail on the shrimp, making their consumption more complicated, but it is also slightly more delicious. And second, pasta in Japan is always weird unless it's actually noodles. There's something that's hard to put my finger on, but all the times I got any kind of pasta dish, it always tasted slightly off, as though it were made from grain, eggs, and demon seed. My meal also contained tiny octopi. These things had their heads/guts/bones removed, but were still mostly whole. You could see the suckers and everything. They tasted like generic seafood, but they were like chewing on gentle rubber.
We left Jonathan's, but before hitting the market in Harajuku, Cory took us to one of the more tourist-friendly parts of the area, which was this huge temple in the middle of the city. This huge temple is also located inside of a surprisingly large forest. In the middle of Tokyo. It was my first real encounter with the Cicada, which is a bug we didn't see a lot of but which won't SHUT UP. EVER. Fill a vacuum with pennies, then stick your head inside of it. That's what it sounds like in every wooded area in Japan. It was slightly cooler in the woods, which was nice, and we made our way past an impressive gate. We weren't filled in on the proper gate-crossing etiquette at the time, but you're supposed to clap twice, bow twice, and then clap again, because the gods are both fickle and hard of hearing. I was really nervous about all the temple etiquette actually, but when I noticed Japanese people don't really seem to care about it themselves, I cared much less.
I prayed at the temple, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to say. You know, like birthday wishes.
We were already starting to get pretty tired when we packed out of there, but the Loli's awaited, so we pressed on. I didn't really buy much of anything while walking around the market, but I did get to take in a lot of the sights. It is very easy to lose your friends, family, loved-ones and limbs while walking around the crowded, tiny side-streets that make up Harajuku. Very few of the stores could be said to be indoors in any real sense, though many extended indoors, like a cave that extends deep into the Underdark, only instead of Dark Elves, there's shoes or kimonos. I didn't get to hang out with Cory or Eric much here because it was impossible to find them.
We checked out a few "alternative" stores (meaning places that have things with spike or skulls on them) and I felt soothed by their presence. I was disheartened at how small clothing was, though this is mostly conjecture and eyeballing because I felt too sweaty to try on anything. I don't mean, "oh ha ha, Japanese people be tiny", because frankly, they weren't much smaller than me. It's just a different build, and that build has tiny shoulders. I do not have tiny shoulders, Internet. I would rip their shirts asunder. Like a much smaller, younger, Hulk Hogan.
This is also where Cory picked up his infamous Banana-Hat, which is a hat that is also a banana. It has to be seen to be understood, but suffice to say, it enhanced Cory. It was a Cory amplifier. If there was a Cory Olympics, it would be controversial, because of it's enhancement properties. If he ever gives a eulogy, he is going to be wearing it. It is a thing of awe and beauty. It is not just a novelty hat. I'll talk more about Cory in particular later, but suffice to say an awesome dude with a hilarious hat is a spectacular thing, especially when you're in motherfucking Japan.
We crashed at a cafe for a few minutes, where upon I got some Mango Juice. I actually wanted to try some milk, but I panicked and ordered Mango Juice because it seemed familiar and it was the first thing on the menu. That happened a lot actually. Some nice Japanese person would ask me what I wanted, and then I'd have to do a mental tap dance as I figured out if I wanted to try myself or just give in to staring desperately at Cory to make food come out. I got more comfortable as the week got on, but on Saturday, I was still where my training pants, so I blurted out a need for the juice.
We went upstairs to this really nice little pad and relaxed for a few minutes, our tired feet and sweaty bodies demanding recompense. What was creepy about it, was that for some reason, everything in there was super loud. Or rather, the room was quiet, which made every noise way louder than it would have been. I can't remember if Eric was talking about someone getting raped, or if Cory was talking about barfing, or what, but I remember momentarily forgetting that no one around us could understand English enough to crack our code. Cory did remind me occasionally though, that Tokyo especially has a fair number of English speaking ninjas who will sneak up on you. I was always concerned that I would happen to blurt out, "LOLZ JAPS PEARL HARBOR" right around the time such a person would round a corner, but thankfully and with much self-control I managed to keep myself from blurting out atrocities.
More to come in Part IV!