A few cards and letters and one long distance call weve drifted away like the leavs in the fall..
well i got all ready today and it was a total waste of a day must i say!! first off jesse and i had a fight so that just totally fucked up my day and i didnt go out and yesterday i got a fucken flat tire and swhen my dad took a look at it he said that some one slashed it because there was a knife mark in it.. so yeah well tomorrow he said he will buy a new tire and he will fix it so i can go and see kyle tomorrow.. so at least i wont be bored and depressed outta my mind. i have just decided to keep my feelings to myself no one will ever know what i feel ne more because then i will just be called a cry baby and what not. im sorry to everyone and anyone i have hurt i havent ever meant to hurt u i seriously mean it.. im sorry. except for one person that i hate with a burning passion which i dare not to put on here since some ppl do tend to read it..i dont understand why everyone hates me everyone leaves me..i get threatning emails.. like wtf!!?? what have i ever done.. just because i got jesse that damn whore brenna hates me just because i stood up for a good friend jackie hates me. and now that my mom has karla i am a nobody to her i mean nothing.. like its like ive never existed and since she has heather she definatley dosent need me.. even william is aloud out till like fucken 11:30 and i got to be home by 10:30 and im 18 hes 14 thats total bullshit!! like fuck sakes.. no one just understands me and the one that does i almost lost because of my stupidity..so for the next week im buring myself in my room except for the day that kyle and i are supposed to hang out which is tomorrow i cant wait!! because KYLE'S A good friend.. (sorry about the caps) I mean i dont have very many of them left.. I lost Jackie one of my best friends ever!! just because of some stupid thing and i lost krissie, we never see each other its like weve grown apart because she's always busy and so am i.. I miss hanging out with her sooo much, but she has other firends also.. so i guess we all just have to compromise.. i have a dream.. and my dream is to be happy soo amazingly happy i will forget all my problems i want to live a life of no pills and no worries where my mom loves me soo much she would never ever think of hating me never think of kalra she would just think of me as her #1 priority, id be like her goddess the daughter she awalys wanted and i had friends who love me sooo much we would do anything for eatch other, a boyfriend who will love me unconditionally ( even tho i do have one and he is the greatest boyfriend i could ever ask for) a bf who will love me no matter what i do.. no matter what i say nomatter how much i cry, he will always love me but i have realized i do have a boyfriend like that and he loves me very much he wouldnt do anything to hurt me and i know it.. I love you Jesse...and i want a life where me and my soul mate would live happily ever after in eternal bliss.. ive started a poem its not that greta but i will put the starting in here
Pain entering powerfully into your hurting soul,
Crying out in pain,
No one around to hear your screeching crys
and thats basically all i could get anyway for now.. im not to sure about the rest of it.. well anyways i think im out, if i keep typing i think im going to cry, I love you everyone!!
Andi
Pain entering powerfully into your hurting soul,
Crying out in pain,
No one around to hear your screeching crys
and thats basically all i could get anyway for now.. im not to sure about the rest of it.. well anyways i think im out, if i keep typing i think im going to cry, I love you everyone!!
Andi