(no subject)
i made all of 4 entries last year. damn my life is interesting. i just noticed an entry where i talked of a long holiday to many places. i'd forgotten all about that, and have been trying to plan the same thing for next month. i wanted to go to all the places i listed over a year ago, and once again, i cannot go. i'm a slave and cannot escape. i am so wrapped up in work that i rarely have time for anything else. i neglect my friends, my family, and myself. it's been almost 14 months since i was last at home. and i keep wanting to go down there, but work always gets busy or we're under-staffed and i elect to stay here and get my department through the hard times.
is it even worth it? no. sure the money is great, but that's about all. i feel unappreciated and never have respect from management, despite everything i do for the place. the one thing that keeps me going is my boss. i work my ass off (so does he), all so that he doesn't have to cover even more jobs. i won't leave yet, because i wouldn't leave him in the shit. last week he said that the whole resort would fold if i weren't here to do the excessive workload that i cover constantly. for him to say that, is the best praise i could ever receive. i have more respect for him than most people i've ever met. i'm fairly modest when it comes to work, but after he said it, i realised it's true. but still, upper management do nothing to make staff happy.
a few months back i was forced to have 3 weeks off, just because i had so many annual leave hours owing. i got only a few weeks notice, so could not start a seperate holiday fund and did not want to dip into my savings, so i did not go on a proper holiday. i now want one, but cannot have it. 5 staff members short. that's alot of extra work for me to cover. then i get in shit for extra hours? fuck that.
i love this island, but it is depressing. you know things are bad when you live on a tropical island, but have a sock tan. the only time i get to a beach is late at night after i've finished work. on RDO's, all i can do is laze around and try to recover before the next onslaught. i'm not living for myself anymore. i have become nothing more than an employee number, not a person. i keep telling people that soon they will walk into the restaurant to start work, and will find me hanging by the neck from the rafters. that'd be a pretty extravagant way to go out. fuck that though. if anything, i will be burnt at the stake... that way the toxic fumes will take out everyone who is there to watch.
i'm scattered right now. tonight there is a party, to say goodbye to 4 people. one of them has been here almost as long as me. i've been friends with her since she arrived. i still cannot believe she is leaving. it always kills me when an old school islander leaves. i dont give a shit when most people go, since ive seen at least 400 people come and go. but when someone who's put in alot of time here goes, it's fucked. i know people cant stay forever, and i wont either, but it never gets easier. ok fuck it, i'm gunna go to the party. i'm almost drunk now, so i can tolerate most of the drones.
is it even worth it? no. sure the money is great, but that's about all. i feel unappreciated and never have respect from management, despite everything i do for the place. the one thing that keeps me going is my boss. i work my ass off (so does he), all so that he doesn't have to cover even more jobs. i won't leave yet, because i wouldn't leave him in the shit. last week he said that the whole resort would fold if i weren't here to do the excessive workload that i cover constantly. for him to say that, is the best praise i could ever receive. i have more respect for him than most people i've ever met. i'm fairly modest when it comes to work, but after he said it, i realised it's true. but still, upper management do nothing to make staff happy.
a few months back i was forced to have 3 weeks off, just because i had so many annual leave hours owing. i got only a few weeks notice, so could not start a seperate holiday fund and did not want to dip into my savings, so i did not go on a proper holiday. i now want one, but cannot have it. 5 staff members short. that's alot of extra work for me to cover. then i get in shit for extra hours? fuck that.
i love this island, but it is depressing. you know things are bad when you live on a tropical island, but have a sock tan. the only time i get to a beach is late at night after i've finished work. on RDO's, all i can do is laze around and try to recover before the next onslaught. i'm not living for myself anymore. i have become nothing more than an employee number, not a person. i keep telling people that soon they will walk into the restaurant to start work, and will find me hanging by the neck from the rafters. that'd be a pretty extravagant way to go out. fuck that though. if anything, i will be burnt at the stake... that way the toxic fumes will take out everyone who is there to watch.
i'm scattered right now. tonight there is a party, to say goodbye to 4 people. one of them has been here almost as long as me. i've been friends with her since she arrived. i still cannot believe she is leaving. it always kills me when an old school islander leaves. i dont give a shit when most people go, since ive seen at least 400 people come and go. but when someone who's put in alot of time here goes, it's fucked. i know people cant stay forever, and i wont either, but it never gets easier. ok fuck it, i'm gunna go to the party. i'm almost drunk now, so i can tolerate most of the drones.