Argh. In which I end up talking mostly about relationships and sex.
So, exams are long gone, but I did not take any overtime while they happened. I took ALL of the overtime the last couple of weeks and I'm catching up.
Greg and I had a proper date last Tuesday. Woman in Black, coffee and dinner (pancakes, of course) and things were much better than they have been. I feel like I've just been a massive stress-head recently, and not been really as good to him as I could be. Turned out he was feeling the same and Tuesday fixed his doubts too. I cried because he hadn't told me and it scared me that he was feeling things about the relationship that he felt he couldn't say. He seems to have become more open to trying different ways of doing things since that little incident. He's very anxious about certain things.
For example, he doesn't do 'sexting' because he's terrified somebody will pick up his phone and SEE. I've told him that way I'd deal with it is to not let people pick up my phone, and if they do see that's their problem. There was a tentative beginning discussing our plans for this Tuesday in highly suggestive ways, but we'll see. That we're doing this stuff makes me feel closer to him, which is hard to do sometimes because he's so anxious and keeps a lot of things to himself. He of course has every right to keep thoughts to himself, but if I ask how he feels about things and THEN he keeps things to himself, that's frustrating.
I'm hopeful about the relationship since we can work things through like this.
I'm also hopeful that Woman in Black was almost certainly fiction, and therefore I won't die. I'm also probably too old for her.
I'm trying to think of a way to drop this list (nsfw) into Greg and mine's conversations. I was going to do it when we were talking about sexy texts, but I chickened out. He's had very selfish partners in the past, and while he's very giving and that's obviously very nice, I'd like to be as giving but I have no idea what he likes. More frustratingly, neither does he. He claims he's never had to think about it, but, he must watch porn (he almost certainly does watch porn) so he must know some things he likes? Anyway, I figured that if we did this list we could talk about it in a structured way which might actually be productive.
Hmph. I'm exhausted.
Greg and I had a proper date last Tuesday. Woman in Black, coffee and dinner (pancakes, of course) and things were much better than they have been. I feel like I've just been a massive stress-head recently, and not been really as good to him as I could be. Turned out he was feeling the same and Tuesday fixed his doubts too. I cried because he hadn't told me and it scared me that he was feeling things about the relationship that he felt he couldn't say. He seems to have become more open to trying different ways of doing things since that little incident. He's very anxious about certain things.
For example, he doesn't do 'sexting' because he's terrified somebody will pick up his phone and SEE. I've told him that way I'd deal with it is to not let people pick up my phone, and if they do see that's their problem. There was a tentative beginning discussing our plans for this Tuesday in highly suggestive ways, but we'll see. That we're doing this stuff makes me feel closer to him, which is hard to do sometimes because he's so anxious and keeps a lot of things to himself. He of course has every right to keep thoughts to himself, but if I ask how he feels about things and THEN he keeps things to himself, that's frustrating.
I'm hopeful about the relationship since we can work things through like this.
I'm also hopeful that Woman in Black was almost certainly fiction, and therefore I won't die. I'm also probably too old for her.
I'm trying to think of a way to drop this list (nsfw) into Greg and mine's conversations. I was going to do it when we were talking about sexy texts, but I chickened out. He's had very selfish partners in the past, and while he's very giving and that's obviously very nice, I'd like to be as giving but I have no idea what he likes. More frustratingly, neither does he. He claims he's never had to think about it, but, he must watch porn (he almost certainly does watch porn) so he must know some things he likes? Anyway, I figured that if we did this list we could talk about it in a structured way which might actually be productive.
Hmph. I'm exhausted.