As I lay me down to sleep, I pray that you will hold me dear
Though last's night's full moon rode high and clear in the sky above a world of chilly air, today was a hot day, and the pavement was already beginning to melt in the hot sun as I made my way to work at noon.
At work, nothing happened.
So since I last wrote here, I started seeing a young man named Mike, and we've been out a few times, and he's good in the sack, and I'm not going to see him again.
On one side of this decision is the fact that I am nineteen years old. I've become aware recently that, as I have yet to spend even twenty years on this planet in this body, I do not have to accomplish everything I want to accomplish RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. I have plenty of time to do everything I want to do, and I know that I don't have to commit myself to a relationship just because it's there.
The second part is that I know for a fact that I will never love him. He's smart and cute and funny, and I could be content and maybe even happy with him, but I'll never be in love with him.
I will have lots of wonderful relationships with lots of great people in my lifetime, and though I may not be looking for true love right now, I'll want it eventually, so why be in a relationship without even the possibility of love? In the end, I'd get all attached, and then I'd be super-hurt when it ended. Why do that to myself?
On the light, positive side, I've been having awesome sex for two weeks.
That's gone a long way toward making me as happy with my life as I am right now. :)
At work, nothing happened.
So since I last wrote here, I started seeing a young man named Mike, and we've been out a few times, and he's good in the sack, and I'm not going to see him again.
On one side of this decision is the fact that I am nineteen years old. I've become aware recently that, as I have yet to spend even twenty years on this planet in this body, I do not have to accomplish everything I want to accomplish RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. I have plenty of time to do everything I want to do, and I know that I don't have to commit myself to a relationship just because it's there.
The second part is that I know for a fact that I will never love him. He's smart and cute and funny, and I could be content and maybe even happy with him, but I'll never be in love with him.
I will have lots of wonderful relationships with lots of great people in my lifetime, and though I may not be looking for true love right now, I'll want it eventually, so why be in a relationship without even the possibility of love? In the end, I'd get all attached, and then I'd be super-hurt when it ended. Why do that to myself?
On the light, positive side, I've been having awesome sex for two weeks.
That's gone a long way toward making me as happy with my life as I am right now. :)