(no subject)
ok ive made a conclusion that i am truly miserable..its not a cry for attention i dont want sympathy i am just getting the point across..
i dont know why i am but its not something stupid like boys, or because my cat is going to die, its like real personal things about me, about my body, about my family that im just fed up with
-like why bela has my mom wrapped around his finger, my mom will be on my side for something..then bela says something and she totally like changes her opinion and goes on belas side..bela basicaly controls her life, he always tells her "we are going to go on a motorcycle ride" and my mom buys into it..especially when me nad my mom had plans to go to the volleyball game..but whatev..she leaves and doesnt even say goodbye to me anymore..shes like so different when belas around..and everything i do or say bela always has something to say about it or a comment..like my mom went to a conference at the hilton hotel..and brought me home alot of like pens and notebooks hat say hilton on it nad i was all excited and enjoying the moment and bela was like "its just the hilton" omg it totally killed the good moment of me beingexcited and he just puts me in a bad mood and i am so sick of him and i hate him so much
-like no one understand me..im sick of everyone thinking im dumb or stupid and its not just like a couple people..its everyone..tey see someone doing something stupid or embarasing and they say" oh i can see you doing that" its like jee thanks...i mean everyone gets called dumb or stupid..but fr me its excessivly..and im not the only one that gets it bad..but i think im the only one that gets sick of it and thinks its annoying and rude..but like i said no one understands me or shit like that so they wouldnt get what i am talking about..<--thats not written towards anyone its just in general..its how i feel
-i hvae like no friends anymore..i have amelia corrine and nicole and chelsey...like they are the only ones that still talk to me..people i was such good firend with sophmore and freshman year they dont even acknowledge me anymore..i didnt do anything to them so i dont know what is going on..i make the effort to say hey to them in the halls and talk to them but they just blow me off like not even look at me..i even tryed to make new friends but they think i have cooties? lol...i guess thats just a nice way of putting it but i dont know its hard to explain..but i feel like a loner..i have like no true best friend anymore..i have like 5 billion best friends which i love but i miss just having that one best friend that you can tell everything and then they wont go runing to tell somene else..i miss like having a best friend with you hang out with everyday...i walk by myself in the hallways its not very fun..everybody like meets eachother with their friends and they all walk together...but i guess i can get used to walking by myself in the halls?
-all in all im just miserable, alone, lonely depressed..
The End