100!
So this is my 100th post. wow who'd ever have guessed that I would get this far. Thanks for everyone listening to my rants and raves....greatly appreciated. okay well lately I have been rather melancholy. I have no idea as to why I am. I am starting to wonder if this is what I want in my life..if this is where I want to be. I feel like i should be running away. this particular part of the year is really hard for me. Stress hits me in bubbles and may always does this to me. i know I need something else in my life. I have no clue as to what. I am sad and frustrated. I am missing something. something huge. I started to look for my birth mom this week. imagine it I have 5 older sibblings that I have never met. I just hope it isnt messy. my heart is aching and I feel like I am beginning to waste time in certain aspects of my life. I need to change somethings and fairly quickly. I just wish I had all of the answers. I find myself crying at the most random times. i am overly emotional and i cant fathom why. My life isnt bad..actually I am very fortunate and blessed. I am missing something though. isolation is hurting my relationships and it is hurting me. I dont know if I have any friends at all. Gosh I am so stupid and selfish sometimes. Always with a smile...everything is okay with a smile. maybe not anymore.