blech
i feel the need to type even though i can't think of a topic in particular to talk about. I'm sure it has something to do with Ken, but there's nothing really that i can talk into happening.
Before today (yesterday at work) i was thinking that if Debi and Bob (another OWL) are talking abotu me so much in front of Ken (actually talking about me liking him) and he hasn't made any sort of move yet, or asked for my number or told me to go fuck off, then he must not be that into me. Didn't i post on here to someone not to waste the pretty? That if he's into you, he'll act like it and if he's not, he won't. Well, he hasn't, so he must not be.
in the past (not so long ago) i would have excused this as he's just shy or he's not had the opportunity. Well, that's all bullshit. he's not that shy and he has had the opportunity.
so this brings it around to me...this is the part i hate about dating. there's always something someone doesn't like about me. i would love to say 'honestly i don't care what people think of me', but that's always bullshit when anyone else says it, and it is for me, too. the no-self-esteem part of me wants to wax on about whether i'm not pretty enough or skinny enough or funny enough. and the you-know-better part knows that it's not my fault he doesn't like me. i do care what other people think of me and it's not my fault he doesn't like me, but i am curious about why he doesn't.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!
so there's a guy at work named Mike. he's not cute, but he's not ugly. he's a former Marine. he has anger issues, and he's told me that he smokes pot and pops pills. He has 5 kids by two women, but only pays for 3 of them since 2 are in puerto Rico. Sounds like a winner, right? well, guess who asked for my number??? Not Ken, the cute lil sailor boy...but the pill-popping fertile myrtle who told me the day he met me that he's living with a woman he can't stomach only b/c she pays the rent....
what kind of bad dating karma am i working off? i know i've broken some hearts, but shit already...i've had mine broken too...we should be even.
i went to a psychic in radcliff with my best friend Manna just for fun and she (the psychic) told me about the man i will marry. i wish i'd never asked this question of her b/c now every time i see a guy like the one she described guess what i think??
aarrgh...
Sister Mary Cari (just trying it out)
Before today (yesterday at work) i was thinking that if Debi and Bob (another OWL) are talking abotu me so much in front of Ken (actually talking about me liking him) and he hasn't made any sort of move yet, or asked for my number or told me to go fuck off, then he must not be that into me. Didn't i post on here to someone not to waste the pretty? That if he's into you, he'll act like it and if he's not, he won't. Well, he hasn't, so he must not be.
in the past (not so long ago) i would have excused this as he's just shy or he's not had the opportunity. Well, that's all bullshit. he's not that shy and he has had the opportunity.
so this brings it around to me...this is the part i hate about dating. there's always something someone doesn't like about me. i would love to say 'honestly i don't care what people think of me', but that's always bullshit when anyone else says it, and it is for me, too. the no-self-esteem part of me wants to wax on about whether i'm not pretty enough or skinny enough or funny enough. and the you-know-better part knows that it's not my fault he doesn't like me. i do care what other people think of me and it's not my fault he doesn't like me, but i am curious about why he doesn't.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!
so there's a guy at work named Mike. he's not cute, but he's not ugly. he's a former Marine. he has anger issues, and he's told me that he smokes pot and pops pills. He has 5 kids by two women, but only pays for 3 of them since 2 are in puerto Rico. Sounds like a winner, right? well, guess who asked for my number??? Not Ken, the cute lil sailor boy...but the pill-popping fertile myrtle who told me the day he met me that he's living with a woman he can't stomach only b/c she pays the rent....
what kind of bad dating karma am i working off? i know i've broken some hearts, but shit already...i've had mine broken too...we should be even.
i went to a psychic in radcliff with my best friend Manna just for fun and she (the psychic) told me about the man i will marry. i wish i'd never asked this question of her b/c now every time i see a guy like the one she described guess what i think??
aarrgh...
Sister Mary Cari (just trying it out)