(no subject)
Well, I'm back here now.
I have mixed feelings about it, especially after spending the past few days with Andrew. It just seems to get more and more annoying and pointless. We just celebrated our three year anniversary yesterday - it was the first one we've ever been together for. I guess that's something, but the whole thing is just trying and I'm just waiting for all this distance bullshit to be done.
In other news, a 6 hour carride from Bel Air to Tech and a 5 hour car ride from Tech to Frostburg leaves me with a lot of time to think. Too much time. Too much time to think about why he did it, what made him do it, teh fact that he'll never be back. I keep thinking I'll get a call or I'll wake up from a dream and realize that he's okay. I keep just wishing it were true. I keep wishing the whole thing never happened. I realize I'll never fully get over it, but will there ever be a day when I finally accept his death? Doubtful.
I guess it's good school's starting and everything. It gives me less time to think and less time to be lonely when I have things to do.
I have mixed feelings about it, especially after spending the past few days with Andrew. It just seems to get more and more annoying and pointless. We just celebrated our three year anniversary yesterday - it was the first one we've ever been together for. I guess that's something, but the whole thing is just trying and I'm just waiting for all this distance bullshit to be done.
In other news, a 6 hour carride from Bel Air to Tech and a 5 hour car ride from Tech to Frostburg leaves me with a lot of time to think. Too much time. Too much time to think about why he did it, what made him do it, teh fact that he'll never be back. I keep thinking I'll get a call or I'll wake up from a dream and realize that he's okay. I keep just wishing it were true. I keep wishing the whole thing never happened. I realize I'll never fully get over it, but will there ever be a day when I finally accept his death? Doubtful.
I guess it's good school's starting and everything. It gives me less time to think and less time to be lonely when I have things to do.