You make me feel alive... i die soo high
I feel a little better... wait... no i still feel like shit. I dont know if its just a teenage thing or if i really and psycho.. but I cant stand people? why though? I have no idea. I just cant stand to be around people anymore... unless their like someone i like ya kno... but i cant stand people. I always sit here and think shit like *shes only saying that for attention.. cant we talk about me alittle more* call me selfish if you want... i just cant stand worrying about someone elses problems if they couldnt give a piss whats on my mind... im like /hello bitch i just listened for an hour about ur guyshit when i kno there is absolutely no chance of yall gettin together, and now when i wanna talk about my shit.. u decide u wanna go pack or piss or kill urself\ DAMN people piss me off....
i wish my friends were on... the few i have...
I have double standards.
I was at walmart.. and i was with domenick and he wanted to piss me off so he starts saying "Mama mamamamama" and this old bitch turns and stares at me like im this teenage mom and then all these people think im this crazy whore cuz i have a 4 year old kid when i look like im just 15-16 and then i kept sayin 'yes ma'am' no ma'am and they like UGHHH im was soo ready to tear her and say HELL NO I DIDNT FUCK NO FUCKIN POTHEAD WHEN I WAS 12 ITS MY DAMN COUSIN GET A LIFE.... we cant all have a Jerry Springer life...
--haha did u hear he wants to be a congressman--
I only like guys who are a challenge... and most guys are... because im a hideous monstrousity... koehnlein and i were talkin yesterday about "the new me" with all my excellent new habits.. and he asked if i was really happy with who ive become... and i realized im not... but im happier... which in my opinion is better than nothing
I mean I have friends now who i truly love and I love always having someone to turn to and shit its really nice. I do wish I had more friends... but the ones I have I adore more than anything. I mean like I was so crazy over david and I realized that he turned out to be the shittiest boyfriend... but the most awesome friend in the world... not to say that we aint gonna go out for a thousand years lol.... but i do like him alot still.. but being friends is the best it can get right now.
And I soo owe umm ariana and chris i think.. because like a year ago they gave me this dudes screenname and like today *awww* hes awesome... its amazing ya kno? i never thought i would like him.. but i do and like yea....
and randy OMY damn I never thought i would stand a chance with him.. but he likes me and im in awe of him... hes like just so chill about everything its kickass ... i just need to get my priorities straight.. but randy does live just above toronto ;-D and ryans moving back sooo like lots of greatness to come
right now im dizzy dont ask me why.. but i feel like im falling...........
hhmmm thats all i think... except i realized today that i have thought about some shit i thought i never would... i thought of it in code thought... my poem about the girl in the mirror... well she wanted to die... she was ready to kill herself.. b/c she thought she had lost everything that had mattered to her..
i wrote that.. and i think i might have been the girl at some point but yeah...
i dont crave attention... i dont want to have people look at me like im having my brothers baby or something (fyi: i dont have a brother) but yeah...
im finding it hard to breathe now sooo
thats all peace.
i wish my friends were on... the few i have...
I have double standards.
I was at walmart.. and i was with domenick and he wanted to piss me off so he starts saying "Mama mamamamama" and this old bitch turns and stares at me like im this teenage mom and then all these people think im this crazy whore cuz i have a 4 year old kid when i look like im just 15-16 and then i kept sayin 'yes ma'am' no ma'am and they like UGHHH im was soo ready to tear her and say HELL NO I DIDNT FUCK NO FUCKIN POTHEAD WHEN I WAS 12 ITS MY DAMN COUSIN GET A LIFE.... we cant all have a Jerry Springer life...
--haha did u hear he wants to be a congressman--
I only like guys who are a challenge... and most guys are... because im a hideous monstrousity... koehnlein and i were talkin yesterday about "the new me" with all my excellent new habits.. and he asked if i was really happy with who ive become... and i realized im not... but im happier... which in my opinion is better than nothing
I mean I have friends now who i truly love and I love always having someone to turn to and shit its really nice. I do wish I had more friends... but the ones I have I adore more than anything. I mean like I was so crazy over david and I realized that he turned out to be the shittiest boyfriend... but the most awesome friend in the world... not to say that we aint gonna go out for a thousand years lol.... but i do like him alot still.. but being friends is the best it can get right now.
And I soo owe umm ariana and chris i think.. because like a year ago they gave me this dudes screenname and like today *awww* hes awesome... its amazing ya kno? i never thought i would like him.. but i do and like yea....
and randy OMY damn I never thought i would stand a chance with him.. but he likes me and im in awe of him... hes like just so chill about everything its kickass ... i just need to get my priorities straight.. but randy does live just above toronto ;-D and ryans moving back sooo like lots of greatness to come
right now im dizzy dont ask me why.. but i feel like im falling...........
hhmmm thats all i think... except i realized today that i have thought about some shit i thought i never would... i thought of it in code thought... my poem about the girl in the mirror... well she wanted to die... she was ready to kill herself.. b/c she thought she had lost everything that had mattered to her..
i wrote that.. and i think i might have been the girl at some point but yeah...
i dont crave attention... i dont want to have people look at me like im having my brothers baby or something (fyi: i dont have a brother) but yeah...
im finding it hard to breathe now sooo
thats all peace.