(no subject)
Why can't I ever just let things go? Why does the thought of one thing consume my mind? Why do I even care anymore? Why can't I just move on? Why i'm I so scared to actually live?
As you can see I have a lot on my mind, most of it is just me and my on going confusion of my life at this moment. Actually I really thought this year had been the best ever! And don't get me wrong, it has been great, well let's just say I have changed so much, but I mean here lately it's all changed. Everything seems fine, but then something happens and i'm like yeah this is great, and when I start to think everything is happening for a reason, something bad happens. I've had a lot of up's-and-down's, and quite frankly I don't know anymore. I'm so CONFUSED!!
I just want to let go! Stop being so "sheltered", I seriously can't take it anymore. I just want to live, get out, be a teenager, expirence everything I possibly can. Shewies! I need to do what I want, and not thing twice about it, I tried to do that, but it comes back to i'm scared! Scared of WHAT?? I would love someone to expainy this to me, cus I don't know! I really can honestly say few people understand me.
I do think, it is only a matter of time before I understand, and can answer some of my million questions I have in my head. I will learn how to let go, learn how to live, learn to how to expirence, learn to take each moment by moment. Never to look back, never care what people say or think about me. Life is to short live each moment shadowed by thoughts that you never expirence.
I mostly want someone to care about me. Wonder how i'm doing, wonder what i'm doing, think about me, say they love me, and for me to know that they love me and they would do anything to make me happy if only for a moment! I want that feeling everytime you kiss, when you look in their eyes, when you lay there in there arms. When everytime feels like the first time. I want to be the girl that changes that guy, to want to be with her, because he is so unconditionally in love with her. No matter what he was like with other girls, he just wants to be a better person beacuse of her.
I'm fine though, really. I will always be me at the end of the day, and nothing anyone can say will ever change that. I might be a little overwhelmed, and unsure of things lately, but I can't change how I feel. I really have nothing to hide. I might make a realy update one of these days, but I figure this stuff is somewhat more interesting than the usual. This is how I really feel...
I love you guys! I need some comments!
*I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me*
As you can see I have a lot on my mind, most of it is just me and my on going confusion of my life at this moment. Actually I really thought this year had been the best ever! And don't get me wrong, it has been great, well let's just say I have changed so much, but I mean here lately it's all changed. Everything seems fine, but then something happens and i'm like yeah this is great, and when I start to think everything is happening for a reason, something bad happens. I've had a lot of up's-and-down's, and quite frankly I don't know anymore. I'm so CONFUSED!!
I just want to let go! Stop being so "sheltered", I seriously can't take it anymore. I just want to live, get out, be a teenager, expirence everything I possibly can. Shewies! I need to do what I want, and not thing twice about it, I tried to do that, but it comes back to i'm scared! Scared of WHAT?? I would love someone to expainy this to me, cus I don't know! I really can honestly say few people understand me.
I do think, it is only a matter of time before I understand, and can answer some of my million questions I have in my head. I will learn how to let go, learn how to live, learn to how to expirence, learn to take each moment by moment. Never to look back, never care what people say or think about me. Life is to short live each moment shadowed by thoughts that you never expirence.
I mostly want someone to care about me. Wonder how i'm doing, wonder what i'm doing, think about me, say they love me, and for me to know that they love me and they would do anything to make me happy if only for a moment! I want that feeling everytime you kiss, when you look in their eyes, when you lay there in there arms. When everytime feels like the first time. I want to be the girl that changes that guy, to want to be with her, because he is so unconditionally in love with her. No matter what he was like with other girls, he just wants to be a better person beacuse of her.
I'm fine though, really. I will always be me at the end of the day, and nothing anyone can say will ever change that. I might be a little overwhelmed, and unsure of things lately, but I can't change how I feel. I really have nothing to hide. I might make a realy update one of these days, but I figure this stuff is somewhat more interesting than the usual. This is how I really feel...
I love you guys! I need some comments!
*I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me*