(no subject)
Wow it's been awhile. I figure I'd come back to good old LJ maybe people won't read as much but I guess it's a place to get my thoughts out. It's been 5 months since my brother Mike died and I'm having a really hard time. I'm so angry and upset. I just don't know what to do. Halloween is next month, Mike and I would always order pizza and watch scary movies either on or around Halloween and now I can't do that anymore. Jackass 2 is out in theaters I saw the 1st one with Mike so I want to see the 2nd with him but I can't. December is going to be weird, his 31st birthday would have been December 10th now it's not. This is my family's very first Christmas without him there. How does life around you still go on when someone you love is gone? Why is everyday things hard to do? I go to work but I don't want to be there but I am. I clean my house and feed my animals and when that's all done what do I do? I'm broken. The wind still blows, the clouds still move, the sun still rises and sets every morning and night, birds still fly, when it all seems like it stopped. Like time should stop but it keeps going just like My parents, my sister and I still live and will grow old..it doesn't seem right when he doesn't get to walk, talk, breath, laugh, cry, hug, kiss, grow old....live. He lives no more but in our hearts. He lives in my heart. but how I wish he still lived here in this world with me.