i was at jordies

[blondemerican]

yesterday was fun.. me, jordan, & maycie all went to the mall. i got 2 new pairs of platform flip flops.. and a new haltertop. very cute. pac sun was having this HUGE sale. then after the mall.. i went over to jordans house.. it was fun. .we just hung out.. i ended up spending the night.. on her trampeliine.. it was so fun! we actually slept out there! AND GUESS WHAT ELSE... i talked to chaz on the phone.. for the first time since he left.. omgosh it was soo sad..he was like not even saying he loved me.. like i'd say it & he'd be all.."okay".. even after he said it to me online.. im so over this drama.. i need to bleed. i wanted to cry so bad when he was being mean to me, but i didn't want jordie to like.. say anything about it.. gosh he like really hurt my feelings.. alot.. anyways.. im home now.. i think im sick.. from sleeping outside.. it was really cold out last night. and like now my nose is all fucked up. i really want chaz. i want him soo bad.. he's comming home for a couple of days on the 13th.. just to visit or something.. then he's comming home again for christmas.. for like a week. i need to drop him, he's causing me nothing but pain.. but i cant.. i really think i actually love him. which sucks.. the first guy i might love, hates me for breaking up w him.. oh fuckin' joy. im whitening my teeeth right now. .yay.. at least i'll look good when he gets back.. i guess.. idk.. im over this.. i'll write more later.. when i feel better... maybe..if im still alive then.. jk..

i ♥ chaz
♥ always,

HOllie