(no subject)
im feeling alot of things rite now and i cant quite organize my thoughts. there are a few ppl mad at me rite now and 1 that hates me but its ok cuz the feeling is fucking mutual bitch. wow, im mad but im sad but i cant cry cuz im so happy but i cant smile, cuz your not supposed to smile when you wanna die (see wat i mean?!) i havent updated in like, forever. i dont even write in my own journal anymore. I think the only person who i havent shut out latley is Ashley cuz shes the only one who gets me (or atleast doea a good job pretending too) i havent talked to emily in almost a month exactly and im going through a new stage now. first it was OMG I HATE HER then it was "emily who?" now its "oh, ya, she made me that' or"oh, that was the first movie we saw" or "hey, i remember when we did that" and i can pretty much relate anything back to her. i guess this is wat you get for throwing your "best friend" outta your life tho. but im not gunna call her or anything, i mean, ive made it this far and im sure this new stage will be over soon. And you would think that scince i dont want any contact with her in fears that i might crack, that i wouldnt be talking about her on my LJ, but the thing is, i dont think she reads it anymore anyways. Which is fine, i havent read hers either.i miss my sister (not taylor) Brandii-only emily really knows about that too tho.way to go brit, you have sucsessfully shut your self out again.
snaps for me.