could this be it?
my last post on Canadian soil? looks like it, darlings.
i can't even begin to type out my emotions. while Dave and Danilo - the latter in particular has a habit of getting wasted every time i leave the country, haha - are out partying it up, while Christoph is napping in our new house, while my parents attempt a restful night's sleep, while my kitties snooze unawares, i'm here in the basement, struggling to shut my mind down.
my flight leaves at 5:15 tomorrow evening - think of me! until then, i'll be throwing together all these last minute things. my suitcases - surprise surprise - aren't zipped yet and may have to be redone entirely. i have to pick up some last paycheques. i want to have a nice peaceful last Sunday breakfast with my parents. it is going to be a very, very long day. i really do need to sleep now. but my mind can't help but race with all these thoughts! it's a horrific thing to do, moving away from an (almost) perfect life.
there are a few things i want to remember about today, so i'll leave a brief list for my future self:
- waking up to watch Germany kick Maradona's Argentina's asses right out of South Africa
- jumping into the cold pool one last time
- running around in whatever outfit i could throw together (i.e. what i wasn't bringing)
- feeling guilty for lying to Patrick (from Swiss Chalet) even if it's for his own good
- standing on the edge of the deck, wrapped in a towel, trying not to drip the juice from a fresh nectarine all down myself
- squeezing a grumpy Mikesh a million times
- having a delicious barbecued burgers for a "last supper" with my parents and Nikki, delighting in the "we're in denial!" speech
- watching three episodes of Cold Feet with my parents while drinking champagne
- lying on my parents' bed as Mom tells me about when her dad died
- phoning Dave and Danilo as they get ready to go out, with tears in my eyes for the thought of all the conversations we'll never have
- padding around barefoot in the cool grass so i can smell the huge daisies in our garden
how do you spend your final day in this life? Dave told me i shouldn't be sad because i'm about to begin a chapter of my life which will no doubt be the best ever. as difficult as it may be for me to imagine that anything could top the past four (or more) years - i have to try. i have to believe that what i'm beginning now will be better, it's the only way to sanity. so wish me luck, darlings! i've been fortunate so far, here's to hoping that continues.
i can't even begin to type out my emotions. while Dave and Danilo - the latter in particular has a habit of getting wasted every time i leave the country, haha - are out partying it up, while Christoph is napping in our new house, while my parents attempt a restful night's sleep, while my kitties snooze unawares, i'm here in the basement, struggling to shut my mind down.
my flight leaves at 5:15 tomorrow evening - think of me! until then, i'll be throwing together all these last minute things. my suitcases - surprise surprise - aren't zipped yet and may have to be redone entirely. i have to pick up some last paycheques. i want to have a nice peaceful last Sunday breakfast with my parents. it is going to be a very, very long day. i really do need to sleep now. but my mind can't help but race with all these thoughts! it's a horrific thing to do, moving away from an (almost) perfect life.
there are a few things i want to remember about today, so i'll leave a brief list for my future self:
- waking up to watch Germany kick Maradona's Argentina's asses right out of South Africa
- jumping into the cold pool one last time
- running around in whatever outfit i could throw together (i.e. what i wasn't bringing)
- feeling guilty for lying to Patrick (from Swiss Chalet) even if it's for his own good
- standing on the edge of the deck, wrapped in a towel, trying not to drip the juice from a fresh nectarine all down myself
- squeezing a grumpy Mikesh a million times
- having a delicious barbecued burgers for a "last supper" with my parents and Nikki, delighting in the "we're in denial!" speech
- watching three episodes of Cold Feet with my parents while drinking champagne
- lying on my parents' bed as Mom tells me about when her dad died
- phoning Dave and Danilo as they get ready to go out, with tears in my eyes for the thought of all the conversations we'll never have
- padding around barefoot in the cool grass so i can smell the huge daisies in our garden
how do you spend your final day in this life? Dave told me i shouldn't be sad because i'm about to begin a chapter of my life which will no doubt be the best ever. as difficult as it may be for me to imagine that anything could top the past four (or more) years - i have to try. i have to believe that what i'm beginning now will be better, it's the only way to sanity. so wish me luck, darlings! i've been fortunate so far, here's to hoping that continues.