How the hell did someone just say Boehner's speech was better!?!
Dear Sirs and/or Madams of the House or Senate,
Why was Boehner's speech so effective when filled with so much rhetoric? As most of you realize, it used simple terms to appeal to its audience. You are all very good at this; it is probably how you got elected. While President Obama had a much more elaborately constructed speech, his argument felt weaker to some because it took so long to explain. Contrariwise, these same people felt Sen. Boehner’s argument was more of a common sense answer backed up with personal experience. So, in an effort to clarify, I feel the need to use Sen. John Boehner's tactics to explain a very simple proposition that was taught to me by my 8th grade civics teacher.
You are a part of a strangely topsy-turvy service industry. The word should be pronounced "serve-us" because that is what you do; You serve Us. However you also manage a lot of what controls most of our everyday lives, so a voter asking you for something is kind of like the District manager of a McDonald's ordering a Big Mac with no pickles or onions. There is a lot of pressure at that moment to get it right and there are heightened consequences should you get it wrong.
Basically, like so many organizations and businesses, you were put in place to deal with the things that we didn't want to deal with. Like a bishop or the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, you steep yourself in a singular subject that many of us are interested in, but really don't have the time or inclination to dedicate ourselves to working. Your job is to think about these things so we don't have to think about them. We put our trust, our money, and our faith in you because you showed the qualities best suited for the position. All that we ask you do is to do the job; establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty. It is no small task and we appreciate all of your hard work.
However, as with any job, no matter how much one likes an employee or appreciates their hardworking ethics, sometimes the employee cannot perform their job up to the standards of the company. That is what is happening now. We, the people, hired you, our legislative body, to take care of our country's budget through compromise and hard work with other's equally well versed in political discourse as yourself. We specifically spent almost a solid year headhunting the best and the brightest to form a crack team who can get the job done. Unfortunately that crack team - instead of fixing the problem so we could get on with watching Hell's Kitchen and/or Master Chef - has failed. Now we are being forced to come down from the big corporate office (out living rooms) and find out what the hell is going wrong.
So, consider yourselves on notice. As a small business model is only an allegory in the broadest sense for government, let me make broad statements. You are under the scrutiny of the Company Owners. You can succeed by finding a compromise that will support 98% of your bosses. You can fail by trying to hold up the order until the last minute because of childish inter-office politics and be fired for your poor performance. Do not forget, while you may have SOME power over us, we can fire you at any time.
Do your job. I should not be bothered with this kind of a problem. I hired someone qualified to manage the problem. If they cannot lead the team, than new leadership that better fits the team is needed.