SBFL???
This is the color that first stuck out, so I guess I'm just gonna go w/ that. Maybe cuz its the time of the season? Who knows. But Anyways, I've learned alot in the past few months. Everything will change. Time never stops, I knew that before obviously, but now I realllyyy know what it means when they tell you "time will never stop" Life goes by faster then you think, you can't even see it. Its fuckin scary. Like seriously..one day I KNEW that I was going to be with Adam the rest of my life, I mean like I KNEW this shit you know and then BAM next day...hes out of my life forever. Gone. My whole life left me, in 1 day my life was gone. Now try to figure that out. I was living w/ this kid for 3 years of my life. I had visions, of a house and maybe a couple of kids, you know. I had no doubts. Now I realize that he's not coming back. My "future life" with him is gone. He's not coming back to me. I know this now. Time never stops and things always change, if you can see it or not. Over 3 years ago I stopped smoking bud....and what do you know, I'm sitting in my back room getting high, all by myself...and I'm perfectly fine. Anxiety attack free. Yeah believe that shit huh !?! I thought I was never going to touch this shit again. I was so afriad, but I'm okay. I have cotton mouth like ah bitch and its hard to keep my eyes open. haha but I mean...im okay. Wow I'm fuckin iron lung tonight man!!! Hahaha but I do miss Adam, but he's gone you know. This cunt that he's fucking isn't "just some girl" or else I'd be getting phone calls n such. It sucks, this still fucking sucks. But as I said before, time doesn't stop and in time, things change so therefor I WILL get over this. But oh man....I loved him so much. Like I can feel it in my chest, it kinda feels like he's actually a part of me..you know? Like he flows through my blood, like hes always going to be with me. Or it could just be that I'm still in the whole "moving on" stage and I wish that he came back, but this time...this time he's gone for good. I miss him tho...man like so much. I need to do something with my life....soon too. He's out there with another girlfriend, going to work everyday AND going to school, and I'm here at the same job that I don't get enough $$ at and barely paying my bills ,living at my parents house, not going to school. I'm not doing anything. In due time...in due time. Well, enough dogging myself. Haha im making myself feel like shit right now so I'm just gonna go. Until next time.......