*If YoU DiEd RiGhT nOw...YoU kNoW tHaT i'D dIe ToO*
Great weekend...until yesterday...and i have been fighting the tears all day....
Yesterday before Church at like 8 in the morning, my mom's best friend called her to tell her how her daughter had attempted suicide the night before....she had taken 67 sleeping pills. It was really hard for our whole family...the girl is only a year younger than me...she has a little brother about the same age as my sister and my dad is really good friends with their dad. I wasnt especially close to her, but i have known her since I was 3. When we were little we spent at least one night a week together, we were buddies then. So yesterday we went over to their house and brought them valentines day gifts and she came out and said hi for a little bit and then went into her parents room for the rest of the time. Her friends came over and brought her flowers and she was smiling and laughing with them so im hoping that this was her first and final taste of death.
Yesterday was like living through hell all over again. Last year, I remember waking up every morning hoping that this day would be different. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and yet nobody could hear me. All i wanted was for somebody to reach out, give me a hug and tell me it was okay. I wanted my dad to stop hating me and being so angry, and i wanted my mom to be happy again. And now that i think back on it i wonder how people can be so stupid not to see a person going through so much pain. Her parents didnt see it, i didnt see it when i last saw her. And yet this has been carrying on for a very long time. Some people may disagree with me, but i have come to believe that suicide is the VERY LAST call for help. Whenever a person imagines a way they could kill themselves it never ends with death....somehow you miraculously live and then everything works out. Sometimes the person just really doesnt want to live, but usually suicide just a cry for help.
All I ask is that people stop being so ignorant....when somebody looks down say something, they may lie to you, but that is beside the point...at least you reached out.....
Yesterday before Church at like 8 in the morning, my mom's best friend called her to tell her how her daughter had attempted suicide the night before....she had taken 67 sleeping pills. It was really hard for our whole family...the girl is only a year younger than me...she has a little brother about the same age as my sister and my dad is really good friends with their dad. I wasnt especially close to her, but i have known her since I was 3. When we were little we spent at least one night a week together, we were buddies then. So yesterday we went over to their house and brought them valentines day gifts and she came out and said hi for a little bit and then went into her parents room for the rest of the time. Her friends came over and brought her flowers and she was smiling and laughing with them so im hoping that this was her first and final taste of death.
Yesterday was like living through hell all over again. Last year, I remember waking up every morning hoping that this day would be different. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and yet nobody could hear me. All i wanted was for somebody to reach out, give me a hug and tell me it was okay. I wanted my dad to stop hating me and being so angry, and i wanted my mom to be happy again. And now that i think back on it i wonder how people can be so stupid not to see a person going through so much pain. Her parents didnt see it, i didnt see it when i last saw her. And yet this has been carrying on for a very long time. Some people may disagree with me, but i have come to believe that suicide is the VERY LAST call for help. Whenever a person imagines a way they could kill themselves it never ends with death....somehow you miraculously live and then everything works out. Sometimes the person just really doesnt want to live, but usually suicide just a cry for help.
All I ask is that people stop being so ignorant....when somebody looks down say something, they may lie to you, but that is beside the point...at least you reached out.....