What's Gonna Happen?
I'm not exactly sure whats going on with Corey as of right now. And this all really really worries me. As far as I know, we are still dating. However, when he was online earlier he wouldn't talk to me and this really bothers me! I had sent him an email last night talking to him about how's he changed. I read it to Adrienne and she said that there was nothing in the email that he should be mad over...
Corey,
We really need to talk. Okay, so there is this issue that has been bothering me for quite a while and I just didn't know how to address the issue. You have changed and it's NOT for the better. You like act like a completely different person. I feel like your view on our relationship has changed too. I feel like you look at our relationship as more of a sexual relationship than as an emotional relationship. I mean, I remember the very first time you and I hooked up, we had been dating for like three weeks. Now, everything goes so fast. And I know that you compare our relationship to that of mine and Kyle's, but you can't do that because Kyle is older, pressured me into doing things that I wasn't ready to do, and he and I dated for almost five months before anything major happened. And, I'm not saying that I'm not happy with you or that I don't love you or that I don't still like you. I'm just saying that I find myself happier with you when someone else is around because you act different. I mean yes, I understand that the relationship you and I have is supposed to be different when it is just us, but the difference between the two is such a large difference that it often bothers me in ways that no one can understand but me. So, I wrote this to you to make a point. I have found that in the past talking to you is not something that is easy for me, I thought that if I emailed you, then the issue would come up on its own and this would be a lot easier for me as well as you. So, we can either talk it out through here, talk it out on the phone, or we can talk it out in person. Whatever you want is just fine with me! I love you!
Christina
So anyways! I really think that he is either A.) Upset with me B.) Hiding something from me. C.) About to break up with me. D.) Seriously fucked up in the head and not quite sure what he wants. But all of these are just opinions and yours are all welcome! ;-) But...still....I really don't want to loose him contrary to some people's beliefs. I also am worried about a very close friend of mine who apparently hurts himself in some form or another in order to feel in control of his life. But I have learned this the hard way that WE are not in control of our lives. Someone else is! I haven't quite figured out who this other being is that controls my life but whoever he/she might be, I wish they would send my boat in a differnt direction. I would prefer to flow with the current, but that is to much to ask I suppose! WOW! What a good metaphor type thing. But I'm still not smiling! I have no reason to smile anymore! I mean, he could just look at me and I would smile. But not anymore b/c he is avoiding me! I mean, I called him twice right after he signed off and he won't answer the phone...either one! But what can I do? Not much! I just wish there was an answer to my problem. But there's not because Christina's life enjoys being fucked up...!!! And I'm not depressed, just upset! I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone else in any way. Well, not physically at least.
I also know that my parents and Kyle and Adrienne and Morgan and Logan and Clint are all just trying to look out for me. But right now I just need to work this out on my own. This is a serious Christina problem. And why I don't mind talking to you about it if I CHOOSE to talk to you about it, I do mind the nagging me about it. I am going to solve my way through this problem just as I do everyother. What I do with my life is my choice! And how I solve my problems is also my choice. And yes, I do realize that I sometimes cause problems for others, but, I am living my life in a controlled manner to the best of my ability and that's how I choose to do it! Again, thanks for reading my fourth novel! I love you guys!
Corey,
We really need to talk. Okay, so there is this issue that has been bothering me for quite a while and I just didn't know how to address the issue. You have changed and it's NOT for the better. You like act like a completely different person. I feel like your view on our relationship has changed too. I feel like you look at our relationship as more of a sexual relationship than as an emotional relationship. I mean, I remember the very first time you and I hooked up, we had been dating for like three weeks. Now, everything goes so fast. And I know that you compare our relationship to that of mine and Kyle's, but you can't do that because Kyle is older, pressured me into doing things that I wasn't ready to do, and he and I dated for almost five months before anything major happened. And, I'm not saying that I'm not happy with you or that I don't love you or that I don't still like you. I'm just saying that I find myself happier with you when someone else is around because you act different. I mean yes, I understand that the relationship you and I have is supposed to be different when it is just us, but the difference between the two is such a large difference that it often bothers me in ways that no one can understand but me. So, I wrote this to you to make a point. I have found that in the past talking to you is not something that is easy for me, I thought that if I emailed you, then the issue would come up on its own and this would be a lot easier for me as well as you. So, we can either talk it out through here, talk it out on the phone, or we can talk it out in person. Whatever you want is just fine with me! I love you!
Christina
So anyways! I really think that he is either A.) Upset with me B.) Hiding something from me. C.) About to break up with me. D.) Seriously fucked up in the head and not quite sure what he wants. But all of these are just opinions and yours are all welcome! ;-) But...still....I really don't want to loose him contrary to some people's beliefs. I also am worried about a very close friend of mine who apparently hurts himself in some form or another in order to feel in control of his life. But I have learned this the hard way that WE are not in control of our lives. Someone else is! I haven't quite figured out who this other being is that controls my life but whoever he/she might be, I wish they would send my boat in a differnt direction. I would prefer to flow with the current, but that is to much to ask I suppose! WOW! What a good metaphor type thing. But I'm still not smiling! I have no reason to smile anymore! I mean, he could just look at me and I would smile. But not anymore b/c he is avoiding me! I mean, I called him twice right after he signed off and he won't answer the phone...either one! But what can I do? Not much! I just wish there was an answer to my problem. But there's not because Christina's life enjoys being fucked up...!!! And I'm not depressed, just upset! I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone else in any way. Well, not physically at least.
I also know that my parents and Kyle and Adrienne and Morgan and Logan and Clint are all just trying to look out for me. But right now I just need to work this out on my own. This is a serious Christina problem. And why I don't mind talking to you about it if I CHOOSE to talk to you about it, I do mind the nagging me about it. I am going to solve my way through this problem just as I do everyother. What I do with my life is my choice! And how I solve my problems is also my choice. And yes, I do realize that I sometimes cause problems for others, but, I am living my life in a controlled manner to the best of my ability and that's how I choose to do it! Again, thanks for reading my fourth novel! I love you guys!