Trying to clean with a two year old...
also known as "this is why I can't get anything done".
So.
We got up early. Too early. Emily had soccer at 8:15. A friend of mine brought me coffee and I survived. When we got home I actually had some energy. The big kids went to their dad's so it's just me and Logan. I decide to clean the van. No big deal right?
So I gather supplies. Trash bag, paper recycle, bottle recycle bin, yard sale box, and box for stuff that should go inside. Commence cleaning.
I am sorting and tossing...composing mini letters to the kids in my head:
Dear Andrew,
The reason you can never find any sweatshirts on chilly mornings is because they are all in the van. Stop telling me it's my fault because I haven't done laundry. I do laundry, you just never put the stuff you need washed in the LAUNDRY BASKET. If you are cold this fall it will be your own fault.
Love, Mom
Dear Emily,
Are you getting out of the van naked and I am too busy to notice? How can you possibly have any clothes left in the house? And what's with the water bottle collection and arts and crafts. Are you going to be one of those people on the show "Hoarders"? If you don't need the extra ranch sauce for your nuggets then THROW IT AWAY!
Love, Mom
PS. McDonald's toys are not really collectibles.
Dear Logan,
Do you even know where you mouth is?
Love, Mom
Shit. I smell gasoline. There next to the van is Logan with the old gas can. I yell at verbally correct him. We go in and wash his hands. Still smell it but no visible residue. We head back outside. I make a mental note to change his clothes after "we" are done cleaning out the van.
I get most of the back done. I hear "Mommy why is there gum on this"? I look up. There's Logan taking the trash OUT of the trash bag. I explain to him that it is GARBAGE and it stays in the bag. He helps me put it all back.
I move on to the front passenger side. I am bent over cleaning under the drivers side seat when the sweet little voice says "Awwwww, I spilled some. Mommy can you put the rest in my cup"? As I sit upright he hands me an open but not quite empty container of chocolate milk that had rolled out of sight to all but Logan. It now has no lid on it. I recoil like he is handing me a snake, he drops it, and we both get splashed with curdled milk. I explain to him that it is no longer palatable and that we mustn't open and drink things that have been lying under the seat for days!
I gather all trash, etc. and dispose of it. I take the excess clutter inside. I change Logan's clothes and wash him up. We go to the car wash. Logan falls asleep on the way there. He sleeps while I vacuum and wash the van and all the way home....Just long enough to be refreshed when we got back and here I was hoping for a snugly Saturday snooze with him.
I was going to try to clean the house, but if the van took 2 hours why even try to tackle a whole house?
So.
We got up early. Too early. Emily had soccer at 8:15. A friend of mine brought me coffee and I survived. When we got home I actually had some energy. The big kids went to their dad's so it's just me and Logan. I decide to clean the van. No big deal right?
So I gather supplies. Trash bag, paper recycle, bottle recycle bin, yard sale box, and box for stuff that should go inside. Commence cleaning.
I am sorting and tossing...composing mini letters to the kids in my head:
Dear Andrew,
The reason you can never find any sweatshirts on chilly mornings is because they are all in the van. Stop telling me it's my fault because I haven't done laundry. I do laundry, you just never put the stuff you need washed in the LAUNDRY BASKET. If you are cold this fall it will be your own fault.
Love, Mom
Dear Emily,
Are you getting out of the van naked and I am too busy to notice? How can you possibly have any clothes left in the house? And what's with the water bottle collection and arts and crafts. Are you going to be one of those people on the show "Hoarders"? If you don't need the extra ranch sauce for your nuggets then THROW IT AWAY!
Love, Mom
PS. McDonald's toys are not really collectibles.
Dear Logan,
Do you even know where you mouth is?
Love, Mom
Shit. I smell gasoline. There next to the van is Logan with the old gas can. I yell at verbally correct him. We go in and wash his hands. Still smell it but no visible residue. We head back outside. I make a mental note to change his clothes after "we" are done cleaning out the van.
I get most of the back done. I hear "Mommy why is there gum on this"? I look up. There's Logan taking the trash OUT of the trash bag. I explain to him that it is GARBAGE and it stays in the bag. He helps me put it all back.
I move on to the front passenger side. I am bent over cleaning under the drivers side seat when the sweet little voice says "Awwwww, I spilled some. Mommy can you put the rest in my cup"? As I sit upright he hands me an open but not quite empty container of chocolate milk that had rolled out of sight to all but Logan. It now has no lid on it. I recoil like he is handing me a snake, he drops it, and we both get splashed with curdled milk. I explain to him that it is no longer palatable and that we mustn't open and drink things that have been lying under the seat for days!
I gather all trash, etc. and dispose of it. I take the excess clutter inside. I change Logan's clothes and wash him up. We go to the car wash. Logan falls asleep on the way there. He sleeps while I vacuum and wash the van and all the way home....Just long enough to be refreshed when we got back and here I was hoping for a snugly Saturday snooze with him.
I was going to try to clean the house, but if the van took 2 hours why even try to tackle a whole house?