The fine line between love and hate (one shot)
The fine line between love and hate (one shot)
(This is a very emotional piece for me that covers an issue extremely close to my heart so i hope you feel the emotion put into the fic and enjoy reading it. I think the expression 'just be true to who you are' is what i live by, this fic isnt MY life story !! its an eye opener of the way some people are treated for who they are or who they love .. and to the vile people who say that gay people don't deserve the same rights as everyone else they should be put through what some gay people have to live with !!
)
My name is Sian Powers and i'm 16 years old. I live in manchester with my dad and visit my mum in southport sometimes. I have blonde hair and blue eyes and i'd like to think a fairly good figure. I attend Weatherfield High School.... I call it hell !! I wake up every morning from monday to friday at 7am getting dressed, having breakfast, plugging my earphones into my ipod making sure their on full blast and begin my walk to reach the gates of hell. I am always welcomed by a sea of people sniggering and pointing at me, shouting words at me that i can't hear thanks to the headphones blasting out music but unfortunately are vivid enough for me to read of the lips of the person hurling them at me. Usually it's dyke or lesbo or something derogetry like that but their not wrong i am a lesbian and i although this is what i'm faced with on a daily basis. I am proud of who i am. I came out 4 months ago but i don't regret it. i mean sure i'd like everyone to have said 'oh hey sian thats great we all still love you'... Instead i got ''ew dont talk to me again you dirty dyke''. In school i refuse to do p.e as i am constantly accussed of perving on the girls in the changing rooms and in lessons. Its not true i dont want to look at any of the girls in my class like that, honestly.
I spend lessons sat at the back on my own doing as asked and to be honest it has helped me improve my grades. I used to be best mates with Katy but she turned her back on me and is now one of the people who make my life so miserable, but no-one and i mean no-one could possibly hurt me more than Sophie Webster. I mean she is the most gorgeous, funny, whitty human being i have ever met but she hates me and i wish i could hate her. She beats me up everyday at 12:35 without fail. No matter where i went she would find me. It's like she has a tag on me or something. After 4 months of it i just accepted it and now i just make it easy for her to find me, i will be behind the sports hall at 12:30 with my bag placed neatly on the side to pick up after they have finished with me... Yes THEY, Sophie, Katy, Jess and Amer. I should hate Sophie but i can't their is something about her, when she looks at me its as if she is lost and she doesnt no why she's doing this. But she does she usually takes the lead punching my stomach untill i collapse on the floor in agony gasping for air. She then steps back and throws me an apologetic look everytime before allowing Katy, Jess and Amber to hurl a few fists and feet in my direction.
They don't leave it there, they follow me home shouting abuse or sometimes they'll take me to the near by forest and film me getting a beating. But Sophie is never their. Not once has she touched me out of school hours EVER. I dont know why some say its because shes looking after her little brother others say its because she is with her boyfriend. I believe its because she's scared, that sparkle in her eye when she looks at me, its so apologetic and thats the reason i dont hate her, its the reason i love her. Yes i know, i am in love with a girl who gives me daily beatings and bullies me but i can't help it she's so beautiful and sitting at the back of the classroom i often catch glimpses of her when she is talking to her friends and my heart skips a beat at her laugh and her body. Sometimes she turns around and catches my eyeline and she throws me a smile which makes me fall deeper for her everytime. See i know she doesnt want to beat me but she's hiding something and this is her release so i'll take it.
When i arrive home at 4 everyday and my dad is never in so i stay in my room sitting on my bed with my speakers blasting out emotional songs. I sit their and think about my life and about Sophie. I have a blade in my hand and as the tears roll down my face and the emotional pain becomes to much. i slice it across the flesh of my forearm watching the blood roll down and drip onto the towel i carefully placed underneath. It helps me forget, the pain is so intense its all i can focus on. Even if it is for a short period it helps me forget and although i hate the scars at the moment i feel like its worth it.
Today it's the 15th of June 2011 and its 12:25 so i suppose i better make my way to the back of the sports hall, dont wanna be late do i now !! I am stood hear and i see its 12:34 .... 1 minute to go .... 30 seconds to go .... and ... WTF ?! I see Sophie walking towards me with no Katy, Jess or Amber. What's going on
Sian: "Got no back-up today?" i dont feel scared
Sophie: "Sian... i'm not here for that.. i'm not here to hurt you" she tries to touch me but i sharply avoid her touch
Sian: "well what are you doing here ??"
Sophie : "I came to apoligise" WHAT
Sian: "Ha after 4 months of beatings" Is she for real
Sophie : "i'm sorry i never wanted to do it.... it's just....i .. well i" This should be good
Sian: "You what Sophie"
Sophie : "I'm.....err.....i'm" Just say it, it wont kill you
Sian: "Gay ?" Yep, i have known for a while she is but never asked her as i though it would only result in more beatings
Sophie : "Erm... i.. what.. how did you" She stutters
Sian: "Never heard of gaydar" i laugh trying to lighten the mood. Oh shes giggling as much as i want to be angry at her i can't especially when she giggles like that
Sophie : "Look please don't say anything i can't deal with all this" Deal with what ?? she is one of the most popular girls in school !!
Sian: "Why, i've had to !! theirs nothing to deal with except you !!" Its true her and the other 3 are the main reason my life is so hellish, i mean i can put up with the pointing and the sniggering of everyone else but these 4 took it too far
Sophie : "Sian please" Is she serious
Sian: "Why should i... you have beaten me and tormented me for 4 months !!" i go to walk away well i feel a tight grip arounf my arm. "Let Go" as i pull my arm more my sleeve rides up revieling my old scars and fresher cuts.
Sophie : "What are these.... OMG NO !!!" She shouts i'm so confused as she bursts into tears
Sian: "Sophie??" i want to walk away but i hate seeing her like this
Sophie : "This is all my fault" i dont no what to say
Sian: "No .." She cuts me off
Sophie : "Yes.." she sniffs holding back the tears
Sian: "I.." Again cutting me off
Sophie : "You did this because of me because of what i've been doing, because i have been hurting you because i am to afraid to admit that i love you"" she rambles then in the realisation of what she just admitted she slams her hand against her mouth.
Sian: "You what.. you love me??" OMG
Sophie : "i.... erm... you know what.. Yes sian i do, i love you, i love everything about you !! your amazing body your gorgeous blue eyes your ever so cute and sexy smile and your personality just knowcks me back a peg or 2... " Wow wasnt expecting that "... but i know you hate me, hate me for this for what i have done... i'm so sorry" she sobs
Sian: "No... i never hated you Soph, i have always loved you even throughout the beatings the way you looked at me the way you look at me in class... I wanted you and i still do". She looks at me lovingly and stares into my eyes before leaning in ad caressing my lips with hers
Sophie : " I love you" she whispers into the kiss and my body feels electrified
Sian: "I love you too" Honestly i do
We are torn about by distant shouting '' Sophie where are you?" Great its the cavelry, Katy, Amber and Jess. knowing their approaching sophie pulls me into a hug
Sophie : "i'm sorry" she whispers in my ear as she grips my neck with her left hand, i look over her shoulder and see the 3 girls turnign the corner and i feel an agonising throb in my stomach. She just hit me !! wtf, sophie just hit me !!
Katy: "Nice one Soph, starting before we get here" she hi5's Sophie
Sian: " ARGHHH" i cant helo it the agony is too much. This time the emotional pain overwrites the physical pain and all i can think about is Sophie and why she is doing this.
Once the beating has finished and all the girls have walked away, i peel myself from the floor and grab my bag. i finf a note in the side pocket saying ' i am so sorry !! look i wrote this before i came to see you and i need you to know, on the way home today their gonna jump you and take you into the forest and film you getting a beating. Sophie XxX' Whats new i thought !! why has sophie warned me though ?? hmm i dont know but you know what i'm gonna walk home with my head held high i don't care what they do !! i am what i am !
So its 3pm and the bell for the end of school has gone, i decided to walk home and just take the beating. So i can see the forest and see Jess, Katy and Amber waiting for me as usual, i pick up my pace and attempt to walk past them when i feel a tight grip around my wrist before being dragged into the empty forest. I dont even fight back, that will just make it worse. We get to the usual spot and they pick up the rope of the floor and tie my hands up. All of a sudden it goes black, Wait they have never covered my head before OH GOD what are they gonna do to me !! I have to speak up
Sian: "please i..." i begged before being cut off
Amber: "Shut up Blondie" Eww her voice makes my body shiver
I was expecting a punch or kick to come in at anytime but no !! i heard the beep of the video camera and was awaiting the evident blows but they still didnt come. Their was no noise around so i start to scream. Almost instantly i feel a cold blade against my neck and i begin to cry. I suddenly feel a heat and a flash of light hit my face and realise the bag has been removed from my head. I am faced with Katy smirking at me and the knife slowly cutting into my skin. I am going to die.
I close my eyes as i hear footsteps behind me, i feel a hand grip my hair and slam my head into a tree !! amber !! i feel the blood trickle down the side of my face and i fell the thumps and pains of kicks and punches being flung at me from all angles.
Katy: "you'se two can go i'll take it from here" i am put back up into a sitting positionand the blade is soon at my throat again.
Katy: "any last words you dirty dyke" wow shes really going to kill me
Sian: "i love her with all my heart" i whisper
Katy: "hahaha well whoever SHE is might see this and know" If only she knew the SHE i was talking about was her best friend Sophie Webster
I look over her shoulder and my eyes widen, their is a figure behind her frowning. It's Sophie !! She mouths 'i love you with all my heart too' and a grin spreads across my face
Katy: "what you smiling it Lesbo" she questions
i glance over her shoulder and Sophie has index finger on her lip and i know she wants me to keep quiet. I thought she wanted to help me... obviously not.
Sian: "nothing" i whisper and close my eyes
Katy: "Bye Sian" is this it, the end of my life
I hear Katy let out a groan and i wonder what shes doing, i can no longer feel the blade at my throat and i wonder if i'm in heaven. I peel my eyes open and see an amazing sight
Katy is pushed up against a tree with Sophie's hand wrapped arounf her neck. She saved me
Sophie: " You touch her again, and i'll take that knife and stab you till the life pours out of you !! Do you understand me you fucking whore !!" Wow she really is standing up for me
Katy: "what the fuck Sophie shes a dyke??"
Sophie: "and ?"
Katy: "We hate them, you hate them, you hate her" they look in my direction i catch sophies gaze and she throws me a smile
Sophie shakes her head
Sophie: "No i love her
Katy: "Get your filthy hands of me you disgusting dyke"
Sophie clenches her fist before smashing it in the side of katies face
Sophie: "Thats for calling me a dyke"
She hits her in the stomach this time
Sophie: "that is for everything you did to sian"
She kicks her in the stomach this time
Sophie: " Thats for making me afraid of being who i am, and for loving sian"
She picks her up by her collar and slams a fist in to her Jaw
Sophie: "and that... that was for the last time i'll ever hit anyone again !! now fuck off"
Katy quickly rips herself from the ground and runs as fast as a cheetah out of the forest
I can't help but smirk at her she has just beaten her best friend and told her she loves me !
Sophie: "Sian.. i'm so sor-" i cut her off by smashing my lips into hers "what she said i never hated you i was just to scared to admit i love you, its a pretty fine line between love and hate, but god knows i love you" She kisses me again
Sian: " I love you too" i whisper
Their is a fine line between love and hate but just be true to who you are and stand up for what you believe in. Yeah their are hard times but you can always come out on top. Look at me i have the girl of my dreams. So fair enough we havent had the best of starts but forgiveness is key. She couldnt accept who she was and because i could she tried to take mt own to her level. Never !! Stay strong and keep smiling.
(ok guys wow, i had a really emotional day so this came to mind. Really hope you like it.. Please Please Please Comment as they will really cheer me up, if their nice ones!! Thanks for reading)