The UsUal + the WoRst + lonLiNeSs = MiSeRy
******SIGH*********
believe me. you dont want to read my confusion.... *looks around...* ...sorry ...paranoia.
Joseph and i will be breaking up ... like... in a matter of hours. i tried to last night but i choked. its hard to end a 2-year relationship (on and off. i broke up with him for brandon once) but...i was trying tp breathe through it and it's sp hard. im really trying.... its so hard. but hes trying to control who im talking to. and he says if he does what i say he still doesn't know if hell still be with me....it sounds so confusing... so why dont you just SPiT iN mY FaCe aNd SaY i TOlD yOu sO? to all of you that think we wouldn't make it.... we did stay together for a while....but everytime i talk to him now he puts me down and makes me feel weak.... and NO ONE knows the whole story. i know i should probably post it...but i can't.
you know...i used to think i cared about joseph more than anyone else, then i thought to take a chance with brandon....back when i thought i knew myself enough to know the best for me.... but apparently i dont. my boyfriend thinks hes my dad, anbd my best friend (JustinMD) treats me like he cares...and....damn i think i just want to be with him. him....hes all im thnking about right now, but im trying to clear my mind. why cant i just forget about him? damn its so confusing...so painful.... im emotionally weak, and i have to solution to this problem. im in love with justin, and i cant fool myself anymore, i just need someone to tell me im right. im so... lost.
FIGHTER- By C.A. to the person i thought i loved. he knows who he is, and i dont even know why i posted this because he never looks at this...so i guess i can just advertise that its to joseph.
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave,
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
So thanks for making me a fighter