Sleepless in the South
I've got too much on my mind tonight, so thought I'd better empty out my brain a bit and then maybe I'll be able to sleep. I'm going to stick this behind a cut as it's likely to be rambling.
There are so many different things going through my head, it's hard to get them into order. Work is one of them. There has been a lot of overtime available lately, and I've been taking advantage of it, but am nearing the point of burn out. I think it's just as well that I canceled the four hours I was going to work yesterday. It's strange that it's been so rough, as since I've gotten back I've actually spent less time on the phones than normal as they've opened up positions for some tech reps to act as Manager Relief, spending about 5 hrs. a day off of the phones, walking around and assisting fellow techies, if they meet their stats. I was one of the chosen few. Most of the time, I've been bored out of my brain, and it's surprising how many dumb questions there are from people too lazy to look up answers themselves or use common sense. However, we have a group of 14 n00b's who have just come out of training this week and are starting to take calls, so that's making it a bit more interesting. A new group also means a shift bid, which is welcome as I really am not enjoying my current shift. I always did hate working afternoons. I'd rather work graveyards if it was available! So now I'm caught between trying to get as early a come home time as possible, or going for a 10 hour shift where I'm most likely going to be working later than I am currently, but will then have guaranteed Saturdays and Sundays off, as well as another day off in the week.
There are pros and cons to this. Working the longer shift, as I have been with overtime, means I tend to feel overworked and grumpy, and I also have less time to spend with Jody and Tripp on work days. Being grumpy means the time I do have to spend isn't always quality time. On the other hand, with three days off, I could take a Mommy day every week, and have time to spend relaxing, working on the house, doing the things you can't do with a little boy helping, etc., and then still have two days together to spend with Jody and Tripp where we could go camping and make day trips, etc. I know we'll be having another shift bid in December, but that's a long time if I really can't handle the new shift. And, as I found out on this last bid, there is no guarantee I would get an earlier shift than I currently have. There are only 5 10 hour shifts out of the 33 shifts available to choose from, but I think there's a chance I would get one of the later ones if I put it high on my selection. Oh for the days of manual time shifts, when they took it round by seniority so you actually knew what was left to choose from! I hate the computer bids and the not knowing what will happen.
One thing I've set my mind on tonight is that I have to do a better job as a parent. Because of the late hours both Jody and I work, we are slack about getting Tripp in to bed at a decent time, and I am starting to notice a negative effect on his behavior, esp. when it's time to get ready for bed. I lost my temper tonight, and I know Jody was close to losing his. I told Jody tonight that we are going to have to set two alarms to go off every night. One when it is time to get ready for bed, at which time the DVD player will be shut off, regardless of whether or not a show is still playing, and then a second alarm 30 minutes later to announce bedtime. That should be sufficient time for donning of jammies, brushing of teeth and telling of stories. And if story time goes a little past the second alarm, that's something I can live with.
Financially, things aren't as bad as I thought they would be with Jody on unemployment. He's been picking up extra hours at Domino's, which will be stopping this week as the cabinet company is starting to get going. I also had three pay periods this month, and the paychecks have included extra pay for working July 4th, plus overtime and my small bonus for working as a tech lead. Wow, check number 3 just showed up and is definitely bigger than I thought it would be! So far we've been making all of our bill and mortgage payments and even got one thing paid off from our collections list. With this check I'll be able to pay off some current medical bills from my mammogram and set up payments for some that are past due. If we could get renters that pay the mortgage and if Jody can start earning a little more, we can start to save up for a rainy day fund and get more debt paid down.
House wise, it is still a disaster. I find it hard to do the daily chores when I'm working overtime, and am getting behind again. We need to do some electrical work in the kitchen after a close call with a blown socket, and finish the bookcase for the backroom, and still go through the kitchen, living room and backroom with a decent cleaning. Then it's the never-ending treadmill of regular tidying up. As far as renovations go, they've ground to a halt. And this is the time of year I really need to go under the house and start trying to get it level. I just wish we had the money to pay someone to do it, but even then the wooden supports have been out of level so long that Jody says it would still need to be done a little at a time. Might as well do it myself if there is no miracle cure short of blowing the house up and starting from scratch. If only a tornado would come through when we're not here!
Summer is also one of the worst times for me emotionally/mentally. I always seem to get depressed in the summer, as if the heat is just sucking the life and energy out of me. I know that going home did not help this. I just long for a place where you can go swimming at any time, either at one of the lakes or in public pools where you don't need an annual membership that costs an arm and a leg. I miss being able to eat berries until they made me sick. I miss Oh Henry ice cream! I miss being near my friends and family. Maybe someday, if our finances improve, that will change. In the meantime, I'm trying to suck it up and make the best of things and counting my blessings here.
Anyway, I think that's most of what has been cluttering up my brain, so I think I'll try to get some sleep.
There are so many different things going through my head, it's hard to get them into order. Work is one of them. There has been a lot of overtime available lately, and I've been taking advantage of it, but am nearing the point of burn out. I think it's just as well that I canceled the four hours I was going to work yesterday. It's strange that it's been so rough, as since I've gotten back I've actually spent less time on the phones than normal as they've opened up positions for some tech reps to act as Manager Relief, spending about 5 hrs. a day off of the phones, walking around and assisting fellow techies, if they meet their stats. I was one of the chosen few. Most of the time, I've been bored out of my brain, and it's surprising how many dumb questions there are from people too lazy to look up answers themselves or use common sense. However, we have a group of 14 n00b's who have just come out of training this week and are starting to take calls, so that's making it a bit more interesting. A new group also means a shift bid, which is welcome as I really am not enjoying my current shift. I always did hate working afternoons. I'd rather work graveyards if it was available! So now I'm caught between trying to get as early a come home time as possible, or going for a 10 hour shift where I'm most likely going to be working later than I am currently, but will then have guaranteed Saturdays and Sundays off, as well as another day off in the week.
There are pros and cons to this. Working the longer shift, as I have been with overtime, means I tend to feel overworked and grumpy, and I also have less time to spend with Jody and Tripp on work days. Being grumpy means the time I do have to spend isn't always quality time. On the other hand, with three days off, I could take a Mommy day every week, and have time to spend relaxing, working on the house, doing the things you can't do with a little boy helping, etc., and then still have two days together to spend with Jody and Tripp where we could go camping and make day trips, etc. I know we'll be having another shift bid in December, but that's a long time if I really can't handle the new shift. And, as I found out on this last bid, there is no guarantee I would get an earlier shift than I currently have. There are only 5 10 hour shifts out of the 33 shifts available to choose from, but I think there's a chance I would get one of the later ones if I put it high on my selection. Oh for the days of manual time shifts, when they took it round by seniority so you actually knew what was left to choose from! I hate the computer bids and the not knowing what will happen.
One thing I've set my mind on tonight is that I have to do a better job as a parent. Because of the late hours both Jody and I work, we are slack about getting Tripp in to bed at a decent time, and I am starting to notice a negative effect on his behavior, esp. when it's time to get ready for bed. I lost my temper tonight, and I know Jody was close to losing his. I told Jody tonight that we are going to have to set two alarms to go off every night. One when it is time to get ready for bed, at which time the DVD player will be shut off, regardless of whether or not a show is still playing, and then a second alarm 30 minutes later to announce bedtime. That should be sufficient time for donning of jammies, brushing of teeth and telling of stories. And if story time goes a little past the second alarm, that's something I can live with.
Financially, things aren't as bad as I thought they would be with Jody on unemployment. He's been picking up extra hours at Domino's, which will be stopping this week as the cabinet company is starting to get going. I also had three pay periods this month, and the paychecks have included extra pay for working July 4th, plus overtime and my small bonus for working as a tech lead. Wow, check number 3 just showed up and is definitely bigger than I thought it would be! So far we've been making all of our bill and mortgage payments and even got one thing paid off from our collections list. With this check I'll be able to pay off some current medical bills from my mammogram and set up payments for some that are past due. If we could get renters that pay the mortgage and if Jody can start earning a little more, we can start to save up for a rainy day fund and get more debt paid down.
House wise, it is still a disaster. I find it hard to do the daily chores when I'm working overtime, and am getting behind again. We need to do some electrical work in the kitchen after a close call with a blown socket, and finish the bookcase for the backroom, and still go through the kitchen, living room and backroom with a decent cleaning. Then it's the never-ending treadmill of regular tidying up. As far as renovations go, they've ground to a halt. And this is the time of year I really need to go under the house and start trying to get it level. I just wish we had the money to pay someone to do it, but even then the wooden supports have been out of level so long that Jody says it would still need to be done a little at a time. Might as well do it myself if there is no miracle cure short of blowing the house up and starting from scratch. If only a tornado would come through when we're not here!
Summer is also one of the worst times for me emotionally/mentally. I always seem to get depressed in the summer, as if the heat is just sucking the life and energy out of me. I know that going home did not help this. I just long for a place where you can go swimming at any time, either at one of the lakes or in public pools where you don't need an annual membership that costs an arm and a leg. I miss being able to eat berries until they made me sick. I miss Oh Henry ice cream! I miss being near my friends and family. Maybe someday, if our finances improve, that will change. In the meantime, I'm trying to suck it up and make the best of things and counting my blessings here.
Anyway, I think that's most of what has been cluttering up my brain, so I think I'll try to get some sleep.