(no subject)
I'm worried that I'm never going to find another woman who makes me feel as wonderful as she did. I don't feel like my world is turned upside down or that I'll never be able to function without her, not like last time. I know that all the things that changed in me while we were together were not things that can only happen with her around, I know they're still there. But what I don't know is if I'll be able to find a woman that makes me want to write love letters everyday or while we're on vacation go drive around aimlessly looking for a grocery store to make her breakfast while she's still fast asleep. What if I never find another woman that can distill down my crazy thought processes into what I actually want and then help me meet those goals. Those are the things I'm afraid of. She and I are likely not ever going to be together again, she doesn't have feelings for me and I don't know that I can ever trust her again. Part of me still hopes that this pass and we'll get back together but this time around I'm pretty positive that isn't going to happen however I'm not going to close the door on that entirely. I just hope that I'll find someone who makes me feel the way she did, I also hope that this future woman treats me better than Leslie ever did.