News Update!
Good morning, Everyone. This is BlkMge42 with the Better News.
Yesterday, the Dryer Sock Thieves struck again, but they didn't only take a sock. Appearently, they stole a shirt, half of a mair of boxing trunks and an eye patch. In a seemingly unrelated incedent, the man who own these clothings, a Drug War Vetran disappeared leaving a shoe and an appearent suicide telegram in the very same dryer. It says the following:
i have gone to a better place [STOP]
if you would like to find me [STOP]
please get in the dryer here [STOP]
it's not like it will eat you [STOP]
that is just silly to think [STOP]
just climb on in with me here [STOP]
remove all metal before you do[STOP]
hope to see my loved ones here[STOP]
lots of candy and pie in here [STOP]
It baffles police and family alike. The dog is also missing. If you happen to know where Ol' Man Johnson P. Warree is, please contact athorities.
In other news, civilization comes to a tremendous halt when the theory that compels us to think that the world is not flat was proven next Saturday, however, in an effort to cover it up, our government took one thousand years to create a space-time distortion loop and sets it up around the perameter of the planet in the past, proving once again that it was a weather balloon, not a space-craft. We will never know, and they will never invent such a thing, thus throwing us into a paradox that will inevitably cast the world into hell without anyone knowing. This date is exactly -37 years, -16 days, -3 hours and 15 minutes away. Congradulations hippies, now go hug a tree.
Also, aliens came down to make a peace offering of technology and a place in the Galactic Council of the United Star Systems Tribunal. When presented to the UN, the US Government proptly destroied the treaty, and shot at the friendlies from the GCUSST, calling their bluff. As it were, they were not bluffing, and erased the insident from the memories of everyone present, and left, placing Earth on the "Lost Cause" list next to Comet Halley and one of the two moons of Mars. Way-to-go earth.
For more news, wait for updates. For less news, sneeze imediately and forget what I said, in that order.
(I woke up for a minute or two again and decided to scribble the news that I dreamt. I don't know what I said because I have forgotten the dream now and I am too tired/lazy to read what I wrote, as I am tired, but I will know in the morning.)
Later.
Yesterday, the Dryer Sock Thieves struck again, but they didn't only take a sock. Appearently, they stole a shirt, half of a mair of boxing trunks and an eye patch. In a seemingly unrelated incedent, the man who own these clothings, a Drug War Vetran disappeared leaving a shoe and an appearent suicide telegram in the very same dryer. It says the following:
i have gone to a better place [STOP]
if you would like to find me [STOP]
please get in the dryer here [STOP]
it's not like it will eat you [STOP]
that is just silly to think [STOP]
just climb on in with me here [STOP]
remove all metal before you do[STOP]
hope to see my loved ones here[STOP]
lots of candy and pie in here [STOP]
It baffles police and family alike. The dog is also missing. If you happen to know where Ol' Man Johnson P. Warree is, please contact athorities.
In other news, civilization comes to a tremendous halt when the theory that compels us to think that the world is not flat was proven next Saturday, however, in an effort to cover it up, our government took one thousand years to create a space-time distortion loop and sets it up around the perameter of the planet in the past, proving once again that it was a weather balloon, not a space-craft. We will never know, and they will never invent such a thing, thus throwing us into a paradox that will inevitably cast the world into hell without anyone knowing. This date is exactly -37 years, -16 days, -3 hours and 15 minutes away. Congradulations hippies, now go hug a tree.
Also, aliens came down to make a peace offering of technology and a place in the Galactic Council of the United Star Systems Tribunal. When presented to the UN, the US Government proptly destroied the treaty, and shot at the friendlies from the GCUSST, calling their bluff. As it were, they were not bluffing, and erased the insident from the memories of everyone present, and left, placing Earth on the "Lost Cause" list next to Comet Halley and one of the two moons of Mars. Way-to-go earth.
For more news, wait for updates. For less news, sneeze imediately and forget what I said, in that order.
(I woke up for a minute or two again and decided to scribble the news that I dreamt. I don't know what I said because I have forgotten the dream now and I am too tired/lazy to read what I wrote, as I am tired, but I will know in the morning.)
Later.