Wonder Ninja Strikes Back! Fabulous Multipie Created & Devoured!
First of all, I would like to say blah. Having said that, we can go about this whole entry thingy that I am writing now. Quite.
So, I figured out what is killing the General Intelligence of America (GIA). It's not people like Bush, that's simply the effect. Also, before I continue, I would like to say that I am not going to say it's politics, because that has nothing to do with the dropping intelligence, it's just being effected by it, as is everything else. No, the GIA is dropping because of everyday things that are very wrong that we allow to exist without fixing, like the phrase "behind your back". Logically, behind your back is in front of you, and probably a good thing, as you can hear things in front of you better than the back of you, due to the way our ears are shaped. Whome ever came up with that phase needed to be shot. In the face. Six times. For good measure. How about "She was talking bad about me behind me," or "Secretly talking bad about me," or "They are wo-faced, cock-mongering, asstarded battle whores and I will tell them that to thier face because I am not a spineless piece of garbage that can stand by what I believe in," how about the little used "I'm not going to let little shit like those cowards talking the wrong way about me, because I am better than that." Imagine all the people living life that way. It's easy if you try.
That's just one phrase that's working against us. Let's look something else. "War on Terrorism". Yeah, that's like saying that the Lawful Good Knights of Justice are going to rid the world of Chaos and Evil. Congradulations America, you believe in fighting a war against something that has been around as long as chaos has, and the idea of chaos has ALWAYS BEEN. Try and defeat chaos, try and kill anarchy, try and destroy evil. These are ideas that humans can not yet truely understand, assuming that something in the next million years will teach humankind how to understand. That is if we don't all kill eachother and ourselves by then. If the world was united under one ruler with laws that effect everyone and there was world peace (which, as long as there are catholics and christians running things, there won't be), there would still be lawlessness, but no war. Sure, we can eliminate war and hunger and all that jazz, but instead we are going to build nukelear weapons, go on killing sprees in the name of this god or that god, and hate that stupid motherfucker because he doesn't believe the same thing that I do. FUCK OFF. I dispise stupidity and immaturity, and it's growing more and more by the day. Why? Because we let it.
Pinguins. Ever wonder why pinguins can't fly? It's because the don't want to. They realize that they can, just by throwing themselves at the ground and missing, a concept that we humans do not get because of stupid things like misunderstood physics. Pinguins don't fly because they enjoy leaping at the ground and sliding down the hill on their belly. You see my point? Simple pleasures. One more concept that humans don't seem to understand. Pinguins are always well dressed, they have simple monarchies, and they WARN EACHOTHER OF DANGER. Merecats do the same thing. I will get to those later. Pinguins don't worry about what others think, they only care for themselves and loved ones, but are not greedy or gluttonous about it, nor are they vain. We could learn a few things from pinguins.
Bed Bugs. Why do they bite? Where do they come from? What do they look like? What should you do to prevent Bed Bug Bites? What should you do if you do be bitten? Find out in the next few sentences!!! Bed Bugs bite because they are pure, concentrated evil. They dispise all of life because of what they have become! They are the ebodyment of old matresses reborn into undeath by way of insectoid bodies. They look exactly like Zombified, Matress-shaped cockroaches that very in size, depending on their power. They are poisonous, so beware. In order to prevent Bed Bug Bites, you can do one of two things: 1) Sleep on fly paper instead of bedsheets, first completely cover every visible skin pigment with duct-tape, or 2) Pretend to be asleep and lure them into view, then use Super Glue to glue them in place. That'll teach them. After either of these, feel free to point and laugh whole-heartedly at their feeble attempts to get free. DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR THIS! They are evil undead vermin strait from level 12 of the abyss, that do not belong in the mortal world. Their poison is so strong that it doesn't kill you, instead it torments the entire world by draining all of the intelligence from all those bitten, and has been linked to lepars! Oddly enough, the antitoxin is Super Glue, or a huge amount of Industrial Crazy Glue. Be forewarned, these creatures of undeath and mayham are to be considered EXPECIALLY DANGEROUS if you don't believe any of this paragraph! People should learn to take guys like me more seriously. I mean really. You don't wanna be dumb and fall to pieces now do you?
Now, as I have stated before, I will discuss merecats. Merecats should also be an example to us, as they don't care if you call them feline, canine or rodent. They don't care. They are going to live their life as free as can be, and talk to mongooses and ferrets. Think about it man (and/or woman)! If we didn't care about what people called us and lived our lives freely, and talked to cool-ass animals like mongooses and ferrets, we would fuckin' rock some fuckin' socks off, man! Hells yes!
I am off to the Sanctuary to claim Assylum. Wait. Scratch that and reverse it. I am going to the Assylum to claim Sanctuary. I need relief, and nice pretty faces in clean white coats, and a beautiful life all the time, I will be happy and Yippy and Skippy. All at the same time! Word to Robert Van Winkle's Mother, yo!
By the way, speaking of Robert Van Winkle, did you guys see him on that VH1 show, the Surreal Life? When he stated very plainly that he hate the image that "Vanilla Ice" had created, and did NOT want to be known as Vanilla Ice? Maybe I got the wrong idea from that, but I thought that meant he didn't want Vanilla Ice to exist anymore because of his extreme hatered of the image. I like him, and I understood. It seems, however, that he has had a change of heart on the whole Vanilla Ice name thing. More power to you, Rob, good luck, and I hope you can find your dreams. You are showing real balls trying this again. I hope it works out. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I am talking about, go here: http://www.vanillaice.com/bio.shtml and find out!
I think I am done writing this post, because if I don't stop now, I will just start writing about absolutely nothing, which won't be much different, but I have other days to do that... and more hours later if need be. For those of you who actually can make it through my writing without skimming or skipping paragraphs (I know it's not the best), thanks and you have talent to read such nonsence. I seem to generally go off on tangents and make pointless points that seem to me like good ideas and must seem to you all like the ramblings of a depressive schizophrinic with a hyperactive disorder. If you are one of these people that think that I am a depressive schizophrenic with a hyperactive disorder, your wrong. I'm bipolar, not depressive. **Grin**
Tigger's Song
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one!
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps
They're loaded with vim and with vigour
They love to leap in your laps
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one!
Tiggers are wonderful fellahs.
Tiggers are awfully sweet.
Everyone else is jealous,
And that's why I repeat...
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Are Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one.
Yes, I'm the only one…….
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
Later.
I don't wanna take up a lot of your guys' friends pages, so my update is in an LJ-Cut, obviously. I was looking through my old entries and found one that was so fucking funny when I read it, I have to re-post it here. At the time that it was happening it wasn't funny, but it sure as hell is now, FUCK!!!
[Past Entry, 8-14-2004]
Subject: Shit-Fuck
Mood: discontent
Music: A serenade that would make a baby's head implode if it heard
Entry:
"Sorry, this entry isn't going to be well worded or even very humorous. I would like to make it so, however today has been the worst day I have had in a long time. I will start my updated with... fuck it. Today. I can't remember any of this past week right now, so it will have to just be today. It's ok, there is plenty of stuff to read.
It all started at noon when I woke up. I was sore all over, and not the working out sore. I mean excruciating throbbing pain in every joint and muscle, including some I didn't know I had. I could barely move. Not only that, but my throught was swollen and hurt abysmally, even to breathe. On top of that, was the worst migrane I have suffered from in two years, and a painful nausia. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I lied in bed for two hours trying to rest the pain away, but no dice. I took an Motron 1000 to try to take the edge off the pain, but that was also no good. I decided to take a hot shower to ease the agony, but there was no hot water. I finally got up and got dressed to walk it off.
I have not eaten anything today, for I have had no appitite. It's strange for me, 'cause I eat a lot. No appitite what-so-ever.
The rest of the day passed painfully, full of busting my head on things that don't belong there, getting hit by a fucking teenager on a bike, and twisting my ankle, causing me to fall and hurt my already broken back; but finally, at 3:30 in the morning I crawled my way into the door, feeling exactly the way I did upon awakening on this awful day. I decided that it may help to take a second shower, which happened to be hot this time. I was in there about a half an hour before I started to lose the heat, so I got out and the god damned motherfucking faucet broke. It decided to not turn off. I popped the cap off it to use the screwdriver to shut it off, but the screw was rusty and stripped. Breaking it is no good, because if I am not careful, I could bust the pipes behind it. After an hour or so, I ended up grabbing a hacksaw from the laundry room and began sawing through the plastic handle. I was able to get through enough to break the handle without damaging anything else. I grabbed a pair of Robo-grip pliers and began to attempt to shut off the thing that way. The pliers broke. I found some hardcore chanal-locks and a plumber's wrench and, after a great deal of pain and effort, finally got the damn thing off. I want to beat the fuck out of something. It didn't help my headache, or my pain-stricken body, but then neither would me beating the hell out of something. **Sigh**
After that, at aproximately 5, I went into my bedroom to relaz and get some sleep. I went to close my blinds and they broke too. I bent down and picked them up, and when I came up, my head hit the god damned shelves on my wall. After a great deal of words that would make a baby's head implode to hear, I got the blinds half-assed up, and decided to light some incents to relax me. My lighter was dead. Normally, this would not infuriate me so, but it pissed me right the fuck off today. I went looking of a second lighter and found matches. Sorry, I used a plural. I mean match. One. Biting my tongue, I lit the motherfucker and it flared up and went out.
I decided to swallow the rest of my words and go to my computer, where I sit now, bitching your eyes out. I am sorry for venting so, but damn it. What a fucking day.
I have one thing further to say in reflection of this day. Lady, Raven, this is specifically for you too. * SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE MY MONDAYS GOOD DAYS?! IT ALL CREEPS UP ON ME WHEN I LEAST WANT IT TO AND HITS ME LIKE A TON OF FUCKING MONDAYS!!! *
That's all I have to say about that.
Later."
Go ahead and laugh when you read it, it really is funny. At least now it is. I bet if somebody **Cough Cough** would have laughed then, I would have fuck-started his head with a chainsaw and not stopped until I had a milkshake. Heh, it was a bad day.
Ok, update over. Go have lives now.
Later.
ANOTHER FREAKING UPDATE:
Oh my god! I now know who that annoying guy was! Damn! Took a while, but I got it! Huh? Don't know what I am talkin- What are you talking about? Oh. Ok, I will give you more information.
There is a Family Guy episode, the Y2K episode with the apocolipse and everything... Well, when the Griffon family was looking for the Twinky Factory, they came across this house in the country with a nice old guy and all the apples they could eat and what not, you know, "paradise". Well, there was a guy at a piano, named Randy Newman, and he sang about everything he saw. Annoying. They left because of it. Yeah. I didn't know who the fuck Randy Newman was, until today. I was searching for lyrics to one or two of my favorite songs, and he is the one who did them. He did "Blue Shadows on the Trail", "My Little Buttercup" and "The Ballad of the Three Amigos", all three of which were in the Three Amigos, which is one of my favorite movies. I am so going to watch that tonight. Oh, and he did this one song that was in 'Toy Story', you know "You've got a friend in me". Yeah. I just had to say that I now know who it is. Yeah. :-D
And again:
Later. (For the last time, I promise!)
So, I figured out what is killing the General Intelligence of America (GIA). It's not people like Bush, that's simply the effect. Also, before I continue, I would like to say that I am not going to say it's politics, because that has nothing to do with the dropping intelligence, it's just being effected by it, as is everything else. No, the GIA is dropping because of everyday things that are very wrong that we allow to exist without fixing, like the phrase "behind your back". Logically, behind your back is in front of you, and probably a good thing, as you can hear things in front of you better than the back of you, due to the way our ears are shaped. Whome ever came up with that phase needed to be shot. In the face. Six times. For good measure. How about "She was talking bad about me behind me," or "Secretly talking bad about me," or "They are wo-faced, cock-mongering, asstarded battle whores and I will tell them that to thier face because I am not a spineless piece of garbage that can stand by what I believe in," how about the little used "I'm not going to let little shit like those cowards talking the wrong way about me, because I am better than that." Imagine all the people living life that way. It's easy if you try.
That's just one phrase that's working against us. Let's look something else. "War on Terrorism". Yeah, that's like saying that the Lawful Good Knights of Justice are going to rid the world of Chaos and Evil. Congradulations America, you believe in fighting a war against something that has been around as long as chaos has, and the idea of chaos has ALWAYS BEEN. Try and defeat chaos, try and kill anarchy, try and destroy evil. These are ideas that humans can not yet truely understand, assuming that something in the next million years will teach humankind how to understand. That is if we don't all kill eachother and ourselves by then. If the world was united under one ruler with laws that effect everyone and there was world peace (which, as long as there are catholics and christians running things, there won't be), there would still be lawlessness, but no war. Sure, we can eliminate war and hunger and all that jazz, but instead we are going to build nukelear weapons, go on killing sprees in the name of this god or that god, and hate that stupid motherfucker because he doesn't believe the same thing that I do. FUCK OFF. I dispise stupidity and immaturity, and it's growing more and more by the day. Why? Because we let it.
Pinguins. Ever wonder why pinguins can't fly? It's because the don't want to. They realize that they can, just by throwing themselves at the ground and missing, a concept that we humans do not get because of stupid things like misunderstood physics. Pinguins don't fly because they enjoy leaping at the ground and sliding down the hill on their belly. You see my point? Simple pleasures. One more concept that humans don't seem to understand. Pinguins are always well dressed, they have simple monarchies, and they WARN EACHOTHER OF DANGER. Merecats do the same thing. I will get to those later. Pinguins don't worry about what others think, they only care for themselves and loved ones, but are not greedy or gluttonous about it, nor are they vain. We could learn a few things from pinguins.
Bed Bugs. Why do they bite? Where do they come from? What do they look like? What should you do to prevent Bed Bug Bites? What should you do if you do be bitten? Find out in the next few sentences!!! Bed Bugs bite because they are pure, concentrated evil. They dispise all of life because of what they have become! They are the ebodyment of old matresses reborn into undeath by way of insectoid bodies. They look exactly like Zombified, Matress-shaped cockroaches that very in size, depending on their power. They are poisonous, so beware. In order to prevent Bed Bug Bites, you can do one of two things: 1) Sleep on fly paper instead of bedsheets, first completely cover every visible skin pigment with duct-tape, or 2) Pretend to be asleep and lure them into view, then use Super Glue to glue them in place. That'll teach them. After either of these, feel free to point and laugh whole-heartedly at their feeble attempts to get free. DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR THIS! They are evil undead vermin strait from level 12 of the abyss, that do not belong in the mortal world. Their poison is so strong that it doesn't kill you, instead it torments the entire world by draining all of the intelligence from all those bitten, and has been linked to lepars! Oddly enough, the antitoxin is Super Glue, or a huge amount of Industrial Crazy Glue. Be forewarned, these creatures of undeath and mayham are to be considered EXPECIALLY DANGEROUS if you don't believe any of this paragraph! People should learn to take guys like me more seriously. I mean really. You don't wanna be dumb and fall to pieces now do you?
Now, as I have stated before, I will discuss merecats. Merecats should also be an example to us, as they don't care if you call them feline, canine or rodent. They don't care. They are going to live their life as free as can be, and talk to mongooses and ferrets. Think about it man (and/or woman)! If we didn't care about what people called us and lived our lives freely, and talked to cool-ass animals like mongooses and ferrets, we would fuckin' rock some fuckin' socks off, man! Hells yes!
I am off to the Sanctuary to claim Assylum. Wait. Scratch that and reverse it. I am going to the Assylum to claim Sanctuary. I need relief, and nice pretty faces in clean white coats, and a beautiful life all the time, I will be happy and Yippy and Skippy. All at the same time! Word to Robert Van Winkle's Mother, yo!
By the way, speaking of Robert Van Winkle, did you guys see him on that VH1 show, the Surreal Life? When he stated very plainly that he hate the image that "Vanilla Ice" had created, and did NOT want to be known as Vanilla Ice? Maybe I got the wrong idea from that, but I thought that meant he didn't want Vanilla Ice to exist anymore because of his extreme hatered of the image. I like him, and I understood. It seems, however, that he has had a change of heart on the whole Vanilla Ice name thing. More power to you, Rob, good luck, and I hope you can find your dreams. You are showing real balls trying this again. I hope it works out. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I am talking about, go here: http://www.vanillaice.com/bio.shtml and find out!
I think I am done writing this post, because if I don't stop now, I will just start writing about absolutely nothing, which won't be much different, but I have other days to do that... and more hours later if need be. For those of you who actually can make it through my writing without skimming or skipping paragraphs (I know it's not the best), thanks and you have talent to read such nonsence. I seem to generally go off on tangents and make pointless points that seem to me like good ideas and must seem to you all like the ramblings of a depressive schizophrinic with a hyperactive disorder. If you are one of these people that think that I am a depressive schizophrenic with a hyperactive disorder, your wrong. I'm bipolar, not depressive. **Grin**
Tigger's Song
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one!
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful chaps
They're loaded with vim and with vigour
They love to leap in your laps
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one!
Tiggers are wonderful fellahs.
Tiggers are awfully sweet.
Everyone else is jealous,
And that's why I repeat...
The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Are Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one.
Yes, I'm the only one…….
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
Later.
I don't wanna take up a lot of your guys' friends pages, so my update is in an LJ-Cut, obviously. I was looking through my old entries and found one that was so fucking funny when I read it, I have to re-post it here. At the time that it was happening it wasn't funny, but it sure as hell is now, FUCK!!!
[Past Entry, 8-14-2004]
Subject: Shit-Fuck
Mood: discontent
Music: A serenade that would make a baby's head implode if it heard
Entry:
"Sorry, this entry isn't going to be well worded or even very humorous. I would like to make it so, however today has been the worst day I have had in a long time. I will start my updated with... fuck it. Today. I can't remember any of this past week right now, so it will have to just be today. It's ok, there is plenty of stuff to read.
It all started at noon when I woke up. I was sore all over, and not the working out sore. I mean excruciating throbbing pain in every joint and muscle, including some I didn't know I had. I could barely move. Not only that, but my throught was swollen and hurt abysmally, even to breathe. On top of that, was the worst migrane I have suffered from in two years, and a painful nausia. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I lied in bed for two hours trying to rest the pain away, but no dice. I took an Motron 1000 to try to take the edge off the pain, but that was also no good. I decided to take a hot shower to ease the agony, but there was no hot water. I finally got up and got dressed to walk it off.
I have not eaten anything today, for I have had no appitite. It's strange for me, 'cause I eat a lot. No appitite what-so-ever.
The rest of the day passed painfully, full of busting my head on things that don't belong there, getting hit by a fucking teenager on a bike, and twisting my ankle, causing me to fall and hurt my already broken back; but finally, at 3:30 in the morning I crawled my way into the door, feeling exactly the way I did upon awakening on this awful day. I decided that it may help to take a second shower, which happened to be hot this time. I was in there about a half an hour before I started to lose the heat, so I got out and the god damned motherfucking faucet broke. It decided to not turn off. I popped the cap off it to use the screwdriver to shut it off, but the screw was rusty and stripped. Breaking it is no good, because if I am not careful, I could bust the pipes behind it. After an hour or so, I ended up grabbing a hacksaw from the laundry room and began sawing through the plastic handle. I was able to get through enough to break the handle without damaging anything else. I grabbed a pair of Robo-grip pliers and began to attempt to shut off the thing that way. The pliers broke. I found some hardcore chanal-locks and a plumber's wrench and, after a great deal of pain and effort, finally got the damn thing off. I want to beat the fuck out of something. It didn't help my headache, or my pain-stricken body, but then neither would me beating the hell out of something. **Sigh**
After that, at aproximately 5, I went into my bedroom to relaz and get some sleep. I went to close my blinds and they broke too. I bent down and picked them up, and when I came up, my head hit the god damned shelves on my wall. After a great deal of words that would make a baby's head implode to hear, I got the blinds half-assed up, and decided to light some incents to relax me. My lighter was dead. Normally, this would not infuriate me so, but it pissed me right the fuck off today. I went looking of a second lighter and found matches. Sorry, I used a plural. I mean match. One. Biting my tongue, I lit the motherfucker and it flared up and went out.
I decided to swallow the rest of my words and go to my computer, where I sit now, bitching your eyes out. I am sorry for venting so, but damn it. What a fucking day.
I have one thing further to say in reflection of this day. Lady, Raven, this is specifically for you too. * SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE MY MONDAYS GOOD DAYS?! IT ALL CREEPS UP ON ME WHEN I LEAST WANT IT TO AND HITS ME LIKE A TON OF FUCKING MONDAYS!!! *
That's all I have to say about that.
Later."
Go ahead and laugh when you read it, it really is funny. At least now it is. I bet if somebody **Cough Cough** would have laughed then, I would have fuck-started his head with a chainsaw and not stopped until I had a milkshake. Heh, it was a bad day.
Ok, update over. Go have lives now.
Later.
ANOTHER FREAKING UPDATE:
Oh my god! I now know who that annoying guy was! Damn! Took a while, but I got it! Huh? Don't know what I am talkin- What are you talking about? Oh. Ok, I will give you more information.
There is a Family Guy episode, the Y2K episode with the apocolipse and everything... Well, when the Griffon family was looking for the Twinky Factory, they came across this house in the country with a nice old guy and all the apples they could eat and what not, you know, "paradise". Well, there was a guy at a piano, named Randy Newman, and he sang about everything he saw. Annoying. They left because of it. Yeah. I didn't know who the fuck Randy Newman was, until today. I was searching for lyrics to one or two of my favorite songs, and he is the one who did them. He did "Blue Shadows on the Trail", "My Little Buttercup" and "The Ballad of the Three Amigos", all three of which were in the Three Amigos, which is one of my favorite movies. I am so going to watch that tonight. Oh, and he did this one song that was in 'Toy Story', you know "You've got a friend in me". Yeah. I just had to say that I now know who it is. Yeah. :-D
And again:
Later. (For the last time, I promise!)