mindless nothing entry
yo yo yo wazzup? it's a beautiful day and i'm sitting in front of my computer. somethings's amiss. i'm waiting on a package. not that i have anywhere to go if i wasn't. perhaps the museums. that's something I haven't done in far too long. i'll keep it in mind.
what's new...i had random sex with an all-but-stranger last night but at this point that's not news. It was awful but i got off. twice. so not a total loss. earlier in the week i hooked up for chiefin', food, and ice cream with my ex and we had sex afterwards. that was fun. he is BEAUTIFUL and his business is blowing up. it will not be long til he's in the big time and I can fulfill my fantasy of going to rap parties with the big wigs. What? Yeeaahh! Okay!
my email exchange with hannifah hit a dead end. i'm not really a producer i was just gonna facilitate bringing her show to DC but i dont think i've got the resources to make it happen. too bad cause she's crazy hot. such is the way.
i'm planning to be at the butch-femme.com Slut Night so perhaps i'll meet someone worthy of my attention and libido. of course i'll post to let you know how it goes.
breakdowns abound...i haven't gotten paid yet (reoccurring, i gotta look at who i be that has this show up); my house is a mess, all my bills are late, my car needs a tune-up; i haven't talked to my family, besides my mother and father (though i im'd with my sister-in-law), in months; i'm owed about two thousand dollars from a friend and i don't think i'll see it any time soon; and i'm still smoking ciggarettes. oh and did i mention that i have no integrity and my life doesn't work? (that's a declaration, not a wallowing in pity, it's a place to come from as an access to causing what i say i'm committed to.)
i've been pretending that everything's ok, hiding that i don't wanna put any effort into creating a life that fulfills my wildest dreams. So what you (the people around me) get is suppressed, a co-conspirator in the ain't it awful club that sucks the life outta you, you can't count on me lest i give you stories to shore up my point of view, you are worried about me and alone. and i'm over here worried, righteous (that i'm stupid and i don't matter or some variation thereof) and powerless. that is by no means what i'm committed to and it's disgusting. ok i'm giving that up lock, stock, and barrel for the possibility of being wisdom and commitment. you can count on be to be in communication, to bring fun, play, and ease to every area of life, and to be a stand for a world that works for every living thing on the planet. Whoo hoo. i'm touched, moved and inspired. what about you?
ok now the real work begins. time to restore integrity. oh what fun it is!
more later
~me
what's new...i had random sex with an all-but-stranger last night but at this point that's not news. It was awful but i got off. twice. so not a total loss. earlier in the week i hooked up for chiefin', food, and ice cream with my ex and we had sex afterwards. that was fun. he is BEAUTIFUL and his business is blowing up. it will not be long til he's in the big time and I can fulfill my fantasy of going to rap parties with the big wigs. What? Yeeaahh! Okay!
my email exchange with hannifah hit a dead end. i'm not really a producer i was just gonna facilitate bringing her show to DC but i dont think i've got the resources to make it happen. too bad cause she's crazy hot. such is the way.
i'm planning to be at the butch-femme.com Slut Night so perhaps i'll meet someone worthy of my attention and libido. of course i'll post to let you know how it goes.
breakdowns abound...i haven't gotten paid yet (reoccurring, i gotta look at who i be that has this show up); my house is a mess, all my bills are late, my car needs a tune-up; i haven't talked to my family, besides my mother and father (though i im'd with my sister-in-law), in months; i'm owed about two thousand dollars from a friend and i don't think i'll see it any time soon; and i'm still smoking ciggarettes. oh and did i mention that i have no integrity and my life doesn't work? (that's a declaration, not a wallowing in pity, it's a place to come from as an access to causing what i say i'm committed to.)
i've been pretending that everything's ok, hiding that i don't wanna put any effort into creating a life that fulfills my wildest dreams. So what you (the people around me) get is suppressed, a co-conspirator in the ain't it awful club that sucks the life outta you, you can't count on me lest i give you stories to shore up my point of view, you are worried about me and alone. and i'm over here worried, righteous (that i'm stupid and i don't matter or some variation thereof) and powerless. that is by no means what i'm committed to and it's disgusting. ok i'm giving that up lock, stock, and barrel for the possibility of being wisdom and commitment. you can count on be to be in communication, to bring fun, play, and ease to every area of life, and to be a stand for a world that works for every living thing on the planet. Whoo hoo. i'm touched, moved and inspired. what about you?
ok now the real work begins. time to restore integrity. oh what fun it is!
more later
~me