12.17.09
7:41 AM - Well, yesterday was more of the same. Errands with dad until it got dark. We fed horses, built a small kennel, picked up a trailer.. yadda yadda.
I was more or less seething below the surface all day though. Why do I always have to work just to spend time with my dad? Why is he always struggling just to get by? At the same time that I was helping him with errands and chores and wishing I could make it better for him, I was left to wonder where the fuck he had been when I moved. At least they had this new house, at least Karen had a job.
But then Karen called.. She quit the job. Selfish father fucker. Can't think beyond herself. She quit the 25$/hour job right when they needed money, and bad. I just wanted to throttle her. Another step back from being able to go camping with my dad instead of coiling 300' of frozen house. Another step back from canoeing at the Arboretum and instead, donning a pair of work gloves to move hay bails. That selfish bitch of an evil step mother. The salt in the wound was then having to be around her for the rest of the evening and pretend to be on her side of things. And on top of all of that, it was her birthday. Way to go, great birthday present to yourself. At dinner, she started crying at the table and slowly got up, put her plate, still full of spaghetti on the counter, and retired to the bedroom where we knew she was crying. That was awkward.
10:11 AM - Alright, the driveway is snow-blown. Wooooo. I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow. I can't seem to get over the fact that I have to work to see my dad. It just sorta eats at me all the time I'm working. Happy to be indoors and back to Pokemon on my gameboy. Yup.
Their new kitten is in my lap playing with the strap on my gameboy and the one on my fleece's zipper. It's so adorable.
I was more or less seething below the surface all day though. Why do I always have to work just to spend time with my dad? Why is he always struggling just to get by? At the same time that I was helping him with errands and chores and wishing I could make it better for him, I was left to wonder where the fuck he had been when I moved. At least they had this new house, at least Karen had a job.
But then Karen called.. She quit the job. Selfish father fucker. Can't think beyond herself. She quit the 25$/hour job right when they needed money, and bad. I just wanted to throttle her. Another step back from being able to go camping with my dad instead of coiling 300' of frozen house. Another step back from canoeing at the Arboretum and instead, donning a pair of work gloves to move hay bails. That selfish bitch of an evil step mother. The salt in the wound was then having to be around her for the rest of the evening and pretend to be on her side of things. And on top of all of that, it was her birthday. Way to go, great birthday present to yourself. At dinner, she started crying at the table and slowly got up, put her plate, still full of spaghetti on the counter, and retired to the bedroom where we knew she was crying. That was awkward.
10:11 AM - Alright, the driveway is snow-blown. Wooooo. I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow. I can't seem to get over the fact that I have to work to see my dad. It just sorta eats at me all the time I'm working. Happy to be indoors and back to Pokemon on my gameboy. Yup.
Their new kitten is in my lap playing with the strap on my gameboy and the one on my fleece's zipper. It's so adorable.