Sep 15, 2006 12:51
so his name is william apparantly...and her sister doesnt like him for something in the past that he did. they broke up but she is still unsure of if they will get back together or whatever. i like how she is still open with me and everything but....i dont see how i can continue to be her friend, although i will go along doing it anyway.
college isnt cool at all really. there are some cool people to hang around but for the most part i just sleep. its like im getting fed up with little things and i dont know why. my teachers baby us and at work my boss and the managers are such dipshits. i feel like im the only intelligent one in a sea of stupidity. crystal said i seemed down on the phone or something. thats what a lot of people say now. i think somehow this is me, being..like this.
my room is a total mess and i havent taken a shower in days. i really dont care anymore and i cant seem to understand why. instead of combing my hair i just put on a cap and spray on some axe and thats about all to my grooming ritual. im ready for something to get started but i dont know what. i dont know what i want anymore. i dont want to hang out with any of my friends, it seems like a chore, and sleeping seems much better. i want to just....stop it all. it seems like a neverending circle and i want to somehow stop this circle and get into something interesting. the problem is there is nothing that i feel that is interesting anymore. i just like to drink and like to inhale smoke, a lot.
i guess i just have no meaning to my life anymore. it seems like im here and ill die and leave no mark and no reason really why i was born. i guess thats all for now