A Fork In the Road
today i started to think of how im going to go about my life, and what im going to do. after all these years of anticipation i dont know what i want to do. i do, but i dont. things are really confusing me as of late. right now i have a bleak outlook on whats going to be my beginning college life. that will be the only thing added to my contiuous weeks of nothingness.
1. take my mom to work
2. sleep
3. watch tv
4. pick up mom from work
5. go to work
6. come home
7. get on the internet and go to sleep really late.
its been going on like that for a while and im not opposed to it, but i dont like it. i could do more but...i dont want to. it feels like if i make more friends im just going to have to forget them if i go to florida next year so why even make the effort. im going to miss matt as well as crystal and all the others that are leaving to go where they believe they should be in the world. right now i dont feel like i belong anywhere. i dont want to be here but i dont want to move there later. at the same time i want to do both of those things but i dont want to leave the friends i do have here in texas, as well as all the family that ive known since i was born. true, i can come back and visit but it just wouldnt feel the same. ill already miss crystal so much and shes only moving 5 hours away. if i move to florida then that will just be so far. i dont want to let go. i need direction...
1. take my mom to work
2. sleep
3. watch tv
4. pick up mom from work
5. go to work
6. come home
7. get on the internet and go to sleep really late.
its been going on like that for a while and im not opposed to it, but i dont like it. i could do more but...i dont want to. it feels like if i make more friends im just going to have to forget them if i go to florida next year so why even make the effort. im going to miss matt as well as crystal and all the others that are leaving to go where they believe they should be in the world. right now i dont feel like i belong anywhere. i dont want to be here but i dont want to move there later. at the same time i want to do both of those things but i dont want to leave the friends i do have here in texas, as well as all the family that ive known since i was born. true, i can come back and visit but it just wouldnt feel the same. ill already miss crystal so much and shes only moving 5 hours away. if i move to florida then that will just be so far. i dont want to let go. i need direction...