Just for the record as well, the different reasons they're pissed aren't from anything I've ever said. Only two of them ever saw that post that pretty much started this and they came to their own conclusions about it. I can partially agree with parts of each of theirs but always all of it.
I'm not sure if you've been reading my lj at all but somewhere in Oct's entries there are at least three apologies for acting the way I did. Also there are reasons for my behavour even with it's mentalness.
Here is the irks I've been loosing speaking about, maybe they can explain my retardness. I posted these publicly in my lj October 21st if I recall. I was still semi-mad at that point so excuse them if they appear biased as it wasn't meant to be. They are over all my major no no's, things that I tend to react VERY harsly to.
>Leaving me in ignorance - When I share my most important things with you it means I value you highly, I expect to be paid the same respect even by a fraction. Finding out that information through third parties or websites counts as ignorance.
>Enforcing restrictions - Friends are there to help us out not tell us what to do, perhaps to lead us towards our own ideas but not strictly telling us things. Also forcing us to live by your ideals but not placing them upon yourself.
>Removed from trust - Becoming friends means sharing trust between each other, this can be tied to leaving in ignorance to some degree. Friends of the higher levels shouldn't be without trust from each other...it's not really fair to either party.
>Straight out lieing - Saying one thing but acting another is a major no,no for me. You can't promise things and never do them...it's lieing esentialy.
>>(major one, not exactly an irk) removal all together with 0 warning - I put a lot of effort and faith into a friendship, I expect a level of the same thing in return. Tieing into ignorance, I can not stand being let out in the cold and finding out through vague channels about something importance. You would think that the amount of energy put into a friendship would at least warrent a im, email, txt, phone or snail mail message prewarning me. Without that it's nothing more then saying 'Pfft who cares' and I react very harsely to that.
The reason why I wrote that entry that day was because you kept on shrugging my accounting grades off as nothing - and I felt really strongly about them and a friend is supposed to comfort you and be there for you. I really felt alone that day after you told me that I say it after I take every quiz, and that I am just pulling B.S., which I don't do. Granted, sometimes I do give up on myself easily. However, there are times where I do put in effort and try. It just hurt my feelings when you said those things to me. It made me feel like I had no potential.
But, that's the past now, and I'd like to put that behind me considering I understand accounting now and economics is still a little fuzzy. But, I am getting better at them.
At any rate, I want to send out my apologies to the highest extent because the day I wrote that, I was also mad at myself and took it out on you too much - being, it wasn't your fault. It was my fault for failing. Just what you said made me feel even worse.
It wasn't so much as shrugging off...when I get a bad grade I can either complaine and mope till the gods change it or I can just move on and improve myself. It's just how I am, I'll get a bad mark and change it into motivation rather then depression or anger.
For the record as well...we're supposed to fail that accounting exam. It was a way to shake up those who hadn't been doing their work. Only two people passed it.
Even if you had gotten mad, you should have told me. That's what friends are supposed to do. Instead I find out via livejournal that you were effectively shutting out the world on a much larger scale. Thus starts the mini-war O.o
I know I should've told you or e-mailed you... and what I did was stupid and I apologize for it. That's all I can say at this point. I can put how you made me feel behind me, and I am willing to start over if you are.
By the way, in case you didn't know, Final Exam schedules are up on the student portal (in the same place where you get your timetable, click on get your weekly exam)
I'm not sure if you've been reading my lj at all but somewhere in Oct's entries there are at least three apologies for acting the way I did. Also there are reasons for my behavour even with it's mentalness.
Here is the irks I've been loosing speaking about, maybe they can explain my retardness. I posted these publicly in my lj October 21st if I recall. I was still semi-mad at that point so excuse them if they appear biased as it wasn't meant to be. They are over all my major no no's, things that I tend to react VERY harsly to.
>Leaving me in ignorance - When I share my most important things with you it means I value you highly, I expect to be paid the same respect even by a fraction. Finding out that information through third parties or websites counts as ignorance.
>Enforcing restrictions - Friends are there to help us out not tell us what to do, perhaps to lead us towards our own ideas but not strictly telling us things. Also forcing us to live by your ideals but not placing them upon yourself.
>Removed from trust - Becoming friends means sharing trust between each other, this can be tied to leaving in ignorance to some degree. Friends of the higher levels shouldn't be without trust from each other...it's not really fair to either party.
>Straight out lieing - Saying one thing but acting another is a major no,no for me. You can't promise things and never do them...it's lieing esentialy.
>>(major one, not exactly an irk) removal all together with 0 warning - I put a lot of effort and faith into a friendship, I expect a level of the same thing in return. Tieing into ignorance, I can not stand being let out in the cold and finding out through vague channels about something importance. You would think that the amount of energy put into a friendship would at least warrent a im, email, txt, phone or snail mail message prewarning me. Without that it's nothing more then saying 'Pfft who cares' and I react very harsely to that.
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But, that's the past now, and I'd like to put that behind me considering I understand accounting now and economics is still a little fuzzy. But, I am getting better at them.
At any rate, I want to send out my apologies to the highest extent because the day I wrote that, I was also mad at myself and took it out on you too much - being, it wasn't your fault. It was my fault for failing. Just what you said made me feel even worse.
Reply
For the record as well...we're supposed to fail that accounting exam. It was a way to shake up those who hadn't been doing their work. Only two people passed it.
Even if you had gotten mad, you should have told me. That's what friends are supposed to do. Instead I find out via livejournal that you were effectively shutting out the world on a much larger scale. Thus starts the mini-war O.o
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All that type of motivational type stuff.
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So it's just going to be Livejournal and if I see you outside waiting for the bus a "hello"?
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