full circle
It's funny how things really work out... these last few months have really showed me where I stand in this world... from breaking hearts to lack of loyalty ... I think I’ve seen it all now... but the one thing that is still very funny is karma... I never would have thought much of it but it seems that there is always a way to have things worked out... I’ll give you an example...
One time long ago I was once in a great relationship... Sarah was always there for me when I wanted her... as time went on I felt as if I wanted more... but that was possible because of the situation that we were both in... I yearned for it so much that it hurt... I took all that frustration and converted it into something that should have never come to past... I neglected all that was important to me and threw it all away... I, of course didn't see this until I myself suffered the same fate... I never saw how much pain I was causing by doing all of this… I never knew how much it hurt... and because I didn't take the time to step back and realize that all of this was wrong it cost me something that I once held close...
I caused allot of pain to you Sarah and it wasn't until now that I understand that... and for my ignorance I’d like to say I’m sorry… I can understand if you can’t forgive… If I was you I wouldn’t be able to forgive either…
And I say this because I have gone through hell… I have felt the pain when you put so much effort into something only to have that person that you put forth effort shit all over it... I know what it’s like now to be second or not even anything at all when you really should be first…
I feel as if I have put you through the things that you have done now with all the shit you went through with Albert and the choices you have made… I feel that I had a part to play in that… and for that I’m sorry…
This is how karma works… when you do something that is not necessary or can be avoided because of your own self respect or lack of it will come back for you… I understand this now and understand…
I’ll give you another example… when you say something but don’t uphold your word… when if you’re not #1 in some ones book then your nothing… that the only thing that matters is them selves… I understand this now and will correct how I act towards those who have treated me this way… I have lost all respect for you John… when Diana was around I tried to tell you that this was happening but you didn’t believe me… when I told you that she was trying something with me and I wasn’t strong enough to just push her away… when she tried to reach for something that wasn’t hers and I was able to sit up… and what hurts the most… is that you didn’t believe me… when you knew what was going on and you even walked by to see a little of what she was trying to do… you still didn’t believe me… that just goes to show that it doesn’t matter how longs we’ve been friends… or the hard ship we’ve gone through… but who’s #1 in your book at that time… if it wasn’t me then I didn’t matter… and now what happen this morning with the cloth and the bowl of food that was left on the table… I don’t care… this is your responsibility to take care of these items. Those are not my items, there not victories, and they are not Matt’s… as you said these were David’s items and he forgot to take it… yes David is on the lease but he’s not living there… there for it is your item that needs to be cleaned by you because he is your friend… plain and simple…
Well I have work to do… I will post more later..
One time long ago I was once in a great relationship... Sarah was always there for me when I wanted her... as time went on I felt as if I wanted more... but that was possible because of the situation that we were both in... I yearned for it so much that it hurt... I took all that frustration and converted it into something that should have never come to past... I neglected all that was important to me and threw it all away... I, of course didn't see this until I myself suffered the same fate... I never saw how much pain I was causing by doing all of this… I never knew how much it hurt... and because I didn't take the time to step back and realize that all of this was wrong it cost me something that I once held close...
I caused allot of pain to you Sarah and it wasn't until now that I understand that... and for my ignorance I’d like to say I’m sorry… I can understand if you can’t forgive… If I was you I wouldn’t be able to forgive either…
And I say this because I have gone through hell… I have felt the pain when you put so much effort into something only to have that person that you put forth effort shit all over it... I know what it’s like now to be second or not even anything at all when you really should be first…
I feel as if I have put you through the things that you have done now with all the shit you went through with Albert and the choices you have made… I feel that I had a part to play in that… and for that I’m sorry…
This is how karma works… when you do something that is not necessary or can be avoided because of your own self respect or lack of it will come back for you… I understand this now and understand…
I’ll give you another example… when you say something but don’t uphold your word… when if you’re not #1 in some ones book then your nothing… that the only thing that matters is them selves… I understand this now and will correct how I act towards those who have treated me this way… I have lost all respect for you John… when Diana was around I tried to tell you that this was happening but you didn’t believe me… when I told you that she was trying something with me and I wasn’t strong enough to just push her away… when she tried to reach for something that wasn’t hers and I was able to sit up… and what hurts the most… is that you didn’t believe me… when you knew what was going on and you even walked by to see a little of what she was trying to do… you still didn’t believe me… that just goes to show that it doesn’t matter how longs we’ve been friends… or the hard ship we’ve gone through… but who’s #1 in your book at that time… if it wasn’t me then I didn’t matter… and now what happen this morning with the cloth and the bowl of food that was left on the table… I don’t care… this is your responsibility to take care of these items. Those are not my items, there not victories, and they are not Matt’s… as you said these were David’s items and he forgot to take it… yes David is on the lease but he’s not living there… there for it is your item that needs to be cleaned by you because he is your friend… plain and simple…
Well I have work to do… I will post more later..