(no subject)
so here the story.. i was with someone for a very long time we shared a life together and we build a family together and planned on having more after but the timin wasnt right... he was all i have left besides my daughter my life would revolve around him and only him. i gave him everything i had. but he never treated me right.. yes i'll admit we were never perfect we fought throughtout my pregnancy but once our miracle child was born everything was good for a moment or i would say until i found out he cheated on me many times but once again i forgave him and i went back like i fool i was.. Yes I'll admit it.. I was never perfect either.. I lied to him also..we were never the perfect couple but we did loved each other with all our hearts at one time. I still do..
we lived the life that we were suppose to. we shared a lot and i wasnt afraid or shy about anything cause he'd seen me at my worst, my best. i never regret loving him.. everything we've been through has made our relationship stronger and was worth all the tears, joy and laughter. I was never afraid of loving someone so much I couldnt imagine my life without him he was there for me as I was for him he did a lot for me and I did everything I possibly could for him. the sweetest days i found i would find it in him he change my life around that i knew that is what i wanted and he was who i wanted to share my future with but none of the less he wasn't happy and now im face with a dilema of being a single mother...
Recently I was horrified that he met someone new and he was happy with her. Yes I am deeply hurt and wounded and no one can ever erase this emptiness away. I wished he would of been straight forward with me about her and he never told her or none of his friend told him that girl he had a girlfriend/wifey..I felt unappreciated for all the work I did and I never done anything wrong all i did was work and slaved myself away at work.. askin for more hours, stayin overtime and going in when they needed me.. but i never thought he would do this to me.. When he told me he loves me with all his heart but he shattered it all in one day.. once i left he went straight to her.. they hooked up and they would post pictures of each other up on here kissin or whatever.. it really hurts cause of the fact if he loves me he would never do anything or rush anything to hurt me..and this girl she didnt cared at all all she wanted was him and she was already head over heels in love with him..I know what i know I cant believe any of them cause of teh fact taht he would stay out till 4 or 5 in the morning and our daughter car seat was in teh back of the car.. so i can only assume what goes on..She tells me that he made his decision to come back to me but I dont believe taht cause he still out with her..
Yes Im sooo confuse and my heart never been more conflicted ever.. stupid of me for takin him back each time.. stupid of me thinkin he will change stupid of me stupid of me thinking he wants to be good to me again.. Robert doesnt love me anymore he doesnt care a bit that Im cryin in front of him he wont even wipe away my tears.. but then he comes back to me telling me he misses me and loves me and the next day he doesnt want anything to do with me. then the followin day he apologize for acting like a dick cause he was mad and now.. he doesnt want antyhing to do with me at all.. Yes Im an emotional wreck how can somebody that love you with his whole heart do soemthing to someone they love how?!? but you know the saying if you love someoen so much you have to let them go and if they come back it's meant to me.. but I felt like I was putting all the effort into this relationship my heart is shattered and he cant be there to pick up the pieces anymore I cant believe him nor trust him it hurt and it's killin me at the same time and everytime I wake up it's not the same.. we're not at home and all i see if my daughter and I have to pretend Im happy I cant break down in front of her I have to live the life how she would want me to..
but now.. I needed my friends for comfort but that just isnt enough I need to get away... he doesnt care or love me like he used to anymore and he believe that our daughter isnt his... that put a steak knife into my heart.. all i ever did was love him..Oh I might be going away for awhile with my daughter so i can pick up the pieces of my heart and move on.. im in the process of healin but it doesnt work that way anymore..
robert no matter how much you hurt me I will always love you you are the father of my child and nothing can ever replace that or replace you..
