More ramblings
Have you ever had one of those moments where you wake up from your drunken stupor to find red Sharpie scribbled indiscriminately across your chest. To find that every breath you take, every sound you hear takes away a part of her life. From the life they could have had. And all you can see is that small blonde girl, all too easy to relate to, staring at you from the window of a tan mini van. When you look at yourself as such a small, fragile human being that has had the life completely sucked out of her. Every limb feels small and insignificant and all that consumes your thoughts is trying to find a way out of this hole that quickly become your reality. The actual words and deeds done become a quick blur of the past and the future is too complex and unfocused to offer any ounce of hope. Every drag of the cigarette hoping to take you further and further from the place that you're sitting. And you rush inside, dropping your pen and locking the door, praying that when you're done brushing the taste out of your mouth you'll have erased the past few hours, days, months. But as you lay in the glow of Conan O'Brian in a clean shirt amongst clean sheets, the smell of smoke remains in your hair, and there is nothing you can do to forget.