torture
you are the living nightmare inside my soul that slowly awakens the past i try so hard to let go of, hard to breathe and i awake from dreaming heart pounding deep in my chest, flashbacks of you whisp through my mind while i push to forget, tenderness was your love that i threw away ever so graciously, to love again is last in my urgent thoughts, a gaze runs over my entire figure and all stops, stops at the part where i am in your arms, i stare but im numb, no feeling of anything, just a memory, in me that wont disappear, but i dont feel, no pain no torture no cries, forgot all your lies, it doesnt hurt to remember what we had anymore, does this mean i am ready, ready to move on?
torment of fights while i sleep, the dreams and thoughts run together and get heavy, try to lift myself out, but i drop, fall hard, lying on the ground i see him, he who i lost he who i loved he who i now try to lose in thought, oddly his memories pound through to get to me, make me miserable and lie there helpless in this hole, a hole of unhappiness and hate, love to forget you and your love that you promised, hurting is never enough, forced to hurt myself over something so pitiful, a thought an image of the past that burns me, not worth the trouble and scars but somehow its worth the pain, of anything so sweet, the pain i feel for him and what we had is worth every second, until the memory is lost, just as he is to me, but will the memory fade to a small part of the lost thoughts i bury deep inside me chained with locks and bolts so to never be brought to me to torture me with this sweet pain again?