And as long as it's okay with you, I think I'll stay right here.
Dayyyum. I am fucked up. This was my day:
Wake up.
Cuddle with kitty and boy.
Smoke a bowl.
Get my car.
Go to J-lyn's.
Smoke 2 or 3 vap bowls.
Take a Valium.
Take a shower. (finally)
Go to Seruh's.
Drink a Red Bull.
Smoke 3 more bowls.
Drink a Starbucks Double Shot.
Go back to Collin's to get my bag.
Smoke 3 more bowls.
Go home.
Take some crazy muscle relaxer.
Eat some turkey-fucking-noodle soup.
And here I am now.
It's downers vs. uppers and the downers are starting to win.
lalalalala.
So, I'm sorry my posts have been so emo as of late. And I'm sorry if anyone feels like I'm not being a good friend. I'm so fucking stressed out from work and overtime and my mother and trying to keep my stepmom happy and trying desperately to spend time with ALL of my friends so that I don't fall out of anyone's loop and am left with no time to myself. I need to get my fucking life together. Pay my bills. Save up a little more money. Find an apartment. Get Christmas presents. Plan my party. It's so overwhelming and intimidating that I just spend my time self-medicating and procrastinating.
I'm about to pull my hair out.
But... there's this boy. He's the fucking shit. I've been picking all the wrong guys lately, and spending waaaay to much energy worrying about it. But here he was all along. I never expected it, but being with him is just so effortless.
And, I mean... lookit him!
So cute! :D
It's like Sarah said. I fuck up and fuck up and fuck up some more. But if I just let go, stop trying so hard, everything just sorta... fixes itself. Which is nice. I just wish I hadn't spent so much time trying so hard and getting nowhere.
I'm just going to buckle down, focus on the things and people that I need to be focusing on, and stop trying to make everybody I know happy. Get this shit together. Grow up.
Mmm. Mmhmm.
Sleeeeeeeepytime.
Wake up.
Cuddle with kitty and boy.
Smoke a bowl.
Get my car.
Go to J-lyn's.
Smoke 2 or 3 vap bowls.
Take a Valium.
Take a shower. (finally)
Go to Seruh's.
Drink a Red Bull.
Smoke 3 more bowls.
Drink a Starbucks Double Shot.
Go back to Collin's to get my bag.
Smoke 3 more bowls.
Go home.
Take some crazy muscle relaxer.
Eat some turkey-fucking-noodle soup.
And here I am now.
It's downers vs. uppers and the downers are starting to win.
lalalalala.
So, I'm sorry my posts have been so emo as of late. And I'm sorry if anyone feels like I'm not being a good friend. I'm so fucking stressed out from work and overtime and my mother and trying to keep my stepmom happy and trying desperately to spend time with ALL of my friends so that I don't fall out of anyone's loop and am left with no time to myself. I need to get my fucking life together. Pay my bills. Save up a little more money. Find an apartment. Get Christmas presents. Plan my party. It's so overwhelming and intimidating that I just spend my time self-medicating and procrastinating.
I'm about to pull my hair out.
But... there's this boy. He's the fucking shit. I've been picking all the wrong guys lately, and spending waaaay to much energy worrying about it. But here he was all along. I never expected it, but being with him is just so effortless.
And, I mean... lookit him!
So cute! :D
It's like Sarah said. I fuck up and fuck up and fuck up some more. But if I just let go, stop trying so hard, everything just sorta... fixes itself. Which is nice. I just wish I hadn't spent so much time trying so hard and getting nowhere.
I'm just going to buckle down, focus on the things and people that I need to be focusing on, and stop trying to make everybody I know happy. Get this shit together. Grow up.
Mmm. Mmhmm.
Sleeeeeeeepytime.