Just bend the peices till they fit, like they were made for it, but they werent meant for this...
haha, lets start this entry off with why life is bitch right now. Once again, its a boy that has to make my life hell. lol. but the problem is, this boy has been putting me through this since freshmen year. Changing their mind EVERY SECOND it seems like. Wanting me, me wanting them, then at the last minute, they get scared and leave me there. I always seem to come back tho, right when i think im done with them. So for the 15th million trillonth time, ive come back, and theyve left me, again. Confused, and alone =( trying to figuer out what the FUCK im supposed to do. I talked to one of my brother like friends named darren that ive known for FOREVER last night. He told me that I need someone who wants me, who will chase me, who will except my needs and fulfill them. I dont need to put up with all this crap. He made me realize theres so many other people out there. But they all seem to turn out to be assholes in one way or another. And for some wierd reason, I always seem to fall for this kid every freakin time. lol. does jake smith ring a bell to anyone?? haha, i dont even really know why =( We were talking sooo much this time, like always...i thought that this time, something good would come out of it. It was SO wierd without him at school, never seeing him and all. I missed him so much. Then he came back, and ill be darned if I didnt fall for him harder when i saw him again =( Then all the sudden, when i thought everything was perfect, (since he liked me so much and all...*rolls eyes*) he tells mike that he doesnt want a commitment. ONCE AGAIN. Mike tells me that jakes just scared...but of what?? honestly, why would i hold on this long if i was just gonna HURT HIM? so ONCE AGAIN im left here trying so hard to get this off my mind. Everyone wants me to just hold on and give it time, but if he REALLY wants me like he says, we wouldve been together by now!! >=| Im sick of coming back to this. and im done. Ben told me that at empire, i guess jake told his ex that he loved her and he wanted to drop all the shit and be together again 2 days before he came to cienega. he also said jake NEVER talked about me...but according to everyone else, he talks about me all the time. I dont know what to do but to just leave it alone. =( I dont care anymore... Who does?? *Sigh* I wanna go back to the way I was over summer. I kept my self from liking anyone, and i was SO MUCH HAPPIER. Then I got in school, and let myself like people, and look what the fuck im dealing with now. ive delt with it for too long. I know that much...