A Life of Loving Hatred....
i hate that i was born. i hate that i have lived my life surrounded by people whom i thought cared about me... by people i cared for.. to find out that i meant nothing to them. that i could fall into a crack of a board and they could care less. i can see now that i have just been an inconvenience to all those i befriended... and that it would have been better for them and i suppose for me if i had continued to walk on by and not say hi. ever. i also see that you should never try to corrupt someone.. because once you do you realize that is not the kind of person they should be... or anyone should be. but i realize that everyone in this superficial reality we have all become accustomed to is nothing but a mere puppet to tear down your soul and rip apart your sense of self worth and demolish your feelings of compassion. i used to believe that if you were nice to others that same gesture would be granted towards you... however i could never let someone try and act "hard" to me. now that i see the whole purpose of being on this hell hole of a planet is to beat those who are trying to bring u down. and since i have realized this... i feel as if i am no longer supposed to be walking among the demons in each and every one of us. and therefore i am ready to leave this world. i am ready to part and go my separate way. i am done. done with the lies.. the hurt... the suffering... and the emptiness i have found to be a place of home in the promises that were never kept. im tired... tired of the same thing over and over and over. i forgive all those who ever harmed me and i ask for forgiveness from those of you i have wronged. for now... my heart is like a rotting pit and my hand is ice cold...