No more...
Well Im just writing to inform you that I probably won't be using this account much longer. I'm not going to delete it.. but I just don't think its a good idea.
For my last post...
I believe I'm broken, or just simply a lost soul. I dont have any of the answers I wish to find, or maybe I do. Maybe I'm just afraid of my future, afraid of failure, or afraid of the outcome. Maybe Ive found what I'm looking for.. but I'm scared to admit it because then if it fails.. its my fault? But maybe it IS my fault but I'd rather blame it on other people?
Im so tired of our species being put on a pedastal. We're human.. which means we do stupid shit.. or we just do things to forget other things.. like drink. People drink to forget pain and suffering. Me? I think I look for guys. Why? Because when I feel ugly or worthless.. a guy will tell me how beautiful I am and make me feel special. Is this such a stupid thing? Some people have sex for the same reason. I'd like to ask this question... Whats worse? Drinking and doing drugs and passing out to forget life's sorrows? or having safe sex with someone you know and care about as either a friend or more? I'd say sex.
Anyways.. I didnt sleep much at all last night. I've been on the verge of tears for pretty much 24 hours. My stomach keeps churning with either regret or just jealousy and I dont know which it is. I cant really eat much, I have to force myself. At least maybe I'll lose the weight I want to lose. One positive out of a million negatives right?
On another note... I'm tired of people telling me that I'm not allowed to be weak. Ever notice that? Everyone always tells everyone to "be strong" but you know what damnit... sometimes you NEED to be weak. Sometimes you NEED to depend on someone else to help you out. Am I wrong? Well thats what I need right now!!!
I wish I could just slip off the face of the earth.. or either go back to last summer when things were perfect. My life and all that matters to me is going down the toilet and right now I just feel like giving in.
I feel like part of me has died. Anyone know how to resurrect things?
Says it all...
"I've been dying inside, little by little
Nowhere to go I'm going out of my mind..
An endless circle. Been running from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still"
I need my reason for standing still.
If you wish to contact me further.. you know my email (if not its in the contact info section of this journal) and my myspace is.... /daniellecelesteorth.
Peace... OUT!
For my last post...
I believe I'm broken, or just simply a lost soul. I dont have any of the answers I wish to find, or maybe I do. Maybe I'm just afraid of my future, afraid of failure, or afraid of the outcome. Maybe Ive found what I'm looking for.. but I'm scared to admit it because then if it fails.. its my fault? But maybe it IS my fault but I'd rather blame it on other people?
Im so tired of our species being put on a pedastal. We're human.. which means we do stupid shit.. or we just do things to forget other things.. like drink. People drink to forget pain and suffering. Me? I think I look for guys. Why? Because when I feel ugly or worthless.. a guy will tell me how beautiful I am and make me feel special. Is this such a stupid thing? Some people have sex for the same reason. I'd like to ask this question... Whats worse? Drinking and doing drugs and passing out to forget life's sorrows? or having safe sex with someone you know and care about as either a friend or more? I'd say sex.
Anyways.. I didnt sleep much at all last night. I've been on the verge of tears for pretty much 24 hours. My stomach keeps churning with either regret or just jealousy and I dont know which it is. I cant really eat much, I have to force myself. At least maybe I'll lose the weight I want to lose. One positive out of a million negatives right?
On another note... I'm tired of people telling me that I'm not allowed to be weak. Ever notice that? Everyone always tells everyone to "be strong" but you know what damnit... sometimes you NEED to be weak. Sometimes you NEED to depend on someone else to help you out. Am I wrong? Well thats what I need right now!!!
I wish I could just slip off the face of the earth.. or either go back to last summer when things were perfect. My life and all that matters to me is going down the toilet and right now I just feel like giving in.
I feel like part of me has died. Anyone know how to resurrect things?
Says it all...
"I've been dying inside, little by little
Nowhere to go I'm going out of my mind..
An endless circle. Been running from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still"
I need my reason for standing still.
If you wish to contact me further.. you know my email (if not its in the contact info section of this journal) and my myspace is.... /daniellecelesteorth.
Peace... OUT!