[Fic] To Be You
It is the last day of Jin’s show in Saitama and Kame is sitting in the bad seats area of the venue, having snuck in just a minute ago, 5 minutes before the show starts, disguised and looking somewhat like a terrorist with a scarf covering almost all his face, and big dark sunglasses. Kame has no idea what possessed him to come and watch Jin perform. He had long given up caring about anything Jin does.
It was the mention from Ueda perhaps, when they had bumped into each other earlier in the day with Kame on the way out of the jimusho gym, and Ueda on the way in.
“Just thought you might want to know that Jin’s back, and has been back for sometime.” Why Ueda thought he needed to be informed of that, Kame had no clue.
“So?” Kame had responded nonchalantly, pretending he did not know that Jin is not only back, but is also in the middle of a nationwide tour.
“Nothing. I just overheard some juniors say they were thinking of going to his show again tonight. Said it was fun, different. Maybe KAT-TUN should show our support too? Make it a bonding trip to Osaka or something.”
“Maybe,” Kame had said, not really committing. “Good luck convincing Koki,” was his last shot to Ueda before they parted ways.
The knowledge of Jin’s show had plagued him from then on, so much so that he found himself walking, camouflaged of course, the narrow lane in Harajuku just 2 hours before the concert. The price of the ticket was crazy exorbitant, but Kame found himself paying for it.
He hasn’t seen Jin in a long time, and maybe it is not wise to see him like this, the centre of attention, holding the fort all by himself. Being successful, all by himself. It’s not that Kame is jealous, Kame can hold the audience just as well, or even better, than Jin can, Kame understands the fundamentals of fan service too well. It’s not that Kame begrudges Jin of success. It’s nothing like that. In fact, he wishes Jin all the success in the world. When Kame really thinks about it, even if he chooses not to, it boils down to not being part of it all, not being part of Jin’s life, not anymore.
The show is as spectacular as Kame expects it to be. He feels a choke in his throat as he acknowledges that Jin’s dreams are slowly coming true, dreams that Kame know so much about. But, as Kame watches, he feels something else too. It is nothing obvious. It just seems like Jin knows he is there. Impossible, Kame thinks. There are so many faces. Why is it then, that he feels Jin’s eyes searching, even though hidden in the shadows of his fedora, for someone?
Kame has heard the song before, Pi had been humming it for weeks after he did that duet with Jin at his own solo concert. It never meant anything to Kame, not until this very moment. Jin is hovering way above the crowd, singing as though this song means everything to him. The whole show had been full of gimmicks and fantastic effects, and Jin looked great, but it is here, right now, when Jin is stripped bare of everything but his voice, that is so mesmerizingly beautiful. Kame cannot tear his eyes away, recognizing for the first time in a long time the Jin that he knows.
For a moment, Kame is sure that Jin is looking straight at him. The lyrics of the song swim around him and his chest suddenly feels tight. Jin seems to also be feeling something, his voice wavers a little, only noticed by Kame, but Kame is not sure. Something seems to be there, but not, at the same time. Kame doesn’t want to stay to find out what this strange vibe is. He stands just as Jin’s crane swings away, and walks out to the tune of Eternal in his ears.
*
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“hhhuuurrggghhh???” Jin stirs and pries his eyes open.
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“W-what??” Jin begins to come to himself as he sits up in bed.
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“W-who???” Jin stumbles out of the bedroom, bumping into things as he approaches the door. He’s still somewhat asleep.
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“JESUS! I’M COMING!” Jin yells as he reaches for the knob and swings the front door open forcefully, all ready to spill a stream of vulgarities at the person who has the audacity to wake him up so early in the morning, never mind that it is already almost 10am.
“There had better be a damn good reason……” Jin stops short as he reels from what he sees, so shocked that he stumbles back and trips on the step that separates the genkan from the living area that he never knew he had.
*
“This must be a dream, this must be a dream, this must be a dream…OWWWWW!!” Jin, who had been crouching in a fetal position and rocking on the spot at the exact place he had fallen, is now protesting and rubbing his arm where his visitor had pinched him.
“Damn it, I shouldn’t have done that. It’s going to bruise. I bruise too easily.”
At the sound of the voice he had heard in his head all his life, Jin looks up and stares straight into familiar eyes, eyes he sees everyday when he looks in the mirror, except this time, those eyes had on a look that Jin had never ever seen in them before. On another person’s eyes, however……..
Jin almost cowers when this person he now recognizes as his exact replica hauls him up and drags him to the bedroom.
“Wait a minute! What are you doing? Are you my long lost brother? Mum never mentioned that I was the other half of twins! Reio’s going to have a fit! What do you want? Money? I’m not rich you know. Contrary to popular belief, idols don’t get paid very much, and I’m broke……” Jin sputters in panic.
“Shut up and look in the mirror.”
Cringing at the command in the voice that he knows too well, he raises his eyes to look.
“Kame?” Jin says, watching the lips of the reflection opposite him mimic that exact word. Dumbfounded, Jin tries raising his arm, and the reflection that is not him raises the corresponding arm. Jin makes a kissy face, and the reflection makes it too, looking very odd because a kissy face was not a commonly seen expression on the face of reflection that was doing exactly what Jin was doing.
“Figured it out yet?” The Akanishi Jin beside Jin crosses his arms impatiently.
“Kame?” Jin utters again hesitantly, turning to look at the ‘him’ he was standing beside.
“Very good, Jin. NOW, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!”
And it was only then that Jin realizes that he’s standing in Kame’s bedroom, in Kame’s very pristine apartment.
*
“How….? What…..? I don’t even……” Jin attempts to think, but it’s all too much to absorb without coffee in his system. Wait, why is he craving coffee? He doesn’t have the habit of drinking coffee in the morning.
“I don’t know either. I woke up this morning at 6.30am as usual because I have a production meeting for Going at 8am, and I wanted to go to the gym and get my morning coffee before I start the day, and then I went to the bathroom, only I couldn't at first because the bathroom door wasn’t in its usual place, and then I saw my, I mean, your reflection in the mirror, and I realized I was in your apartment, and I freaked out and froze and……..”
It’s so strange hearing Kame’s paranoid spiels, something that Jin’s very accustomed to, coming out of Jin’s own mouth, in Jin’s own voice. It has been a while since he had heard Kame’s ramblings that in spite of himself and the out-of-this-world predicament they are in, Jin smiles.
“Why are you smiling with my mouth?” Kame stops and asks, brows furrowed.
“Why are you frowning with my forehead?” Jin retorts, feeling a little snappish.
“I’m not frowning. I’m having a little bit of a headache,” Kame squints and continues, “Anyway, so, I worked out that if I’m in your body, most likely you would be in mine, so I washed up and came over. Took me a really long time though. God, Jin, don’t you have anything else besides unwashed jeans and faded hoodies?”
Jin clicks his tongue as Kame stands and pads to the kitchen. Kame works the coffee maker. Somehow, the sound of the machine whirring soothes Jin.
“While you’re in the kitchen, you should take some painkillers. The headache you’re having is a hangover. I partied rather hard last night,” Jin informs a little sheepishly as he gets up to join Kame at the kitchen counter.
It is Kame’s turn to click his tongue. “I should thank my lucky stars, then, that I woke up alone in your apartment instead of some loose woman’s,” Kame spits and Jin prickles but keeps quiet. He’s still trying to wrap his head around the current situation and is in no mood to engage with Kame as he usually would.
Nonetheless, Kame heeds Jin’s advice. Once he downs two tablets, he pours a mug of freshly made coffee and hands it to Jin over the counter.
“My body doesn’t function well without coffee in the morning,” Kame explains as Jin sips the coffee slowly. Kame observes how the ingestion of coffee calms his entire body, even if Jin is in it, and Kame silently resolves to cut down on coffee when and if they get out of this mess. He hopes it’s more “when” than “if”. Kame hates to be dependent, be it to people or to things. Kame pours himself a cup, even as the body that he is in is constantly telling him to go back to bed. God, lazy Jin, Kame complains in his head.
Mid-drink, Jin’s mind suddenly bolts up, whether it’s the coffee or otherwise, and he exclaims, “Wait a minute! You washed up? That means you’ve … er …. seen …..er…..”
Raising an eyebrow, a very Kame move on Jin’s facial expression, Kame says over his coffee mug, “It’s nothing I’ve not seen before. We’ve had sex Jin, even if you wish to block it out of your memory.”
“Still, it doesn’t give you the right to look at my naked body without my permission,” Jin huffs and settles into the couch. Kame sighs. Some things never change, Kame thinks, even as he shudders slightly at how Jin is mistreating his body by slouching. Kame sits down beside Jin, knowing full well, from experience, that he has to say the right words to prevent Jin from regressing into a child. The Jin-child typically takes a while to become an adult again, and Kame can’t afford to wait. There are matters to attend to. Except, Kame does not really know what the right words are anymore. It has been too long, and they have changed so much.
“Jin,” Kame begins and becomes a little disconcerted when his own pair of eyes turn to look at him. Kame ploughs on, “I have a schedule today. It’s not as packed as other days, only this meeting that I was supposed to go to this morning that I have pushed till this afternoon, considering the, erm, circumstances….”
“So? What’s it gotta do with me?” Jin says flippantly.
Kame takes a deep breath and fights the urge to give Jin a slap across the face. It isn’t so much that he doesn’t want to hurt Jin, it is more about not scarring his own precious face. “You’re me now, Jin, for goodness knows how long. Until we find a way to reverse this, we have to lead each other’s lives for a while. It’s important I attend this meeting. I have to play an actual game with the Saitama Lions in a couple of days, and I need to know the logistics. There are several players I need to interview…….”
“Solve your own problems, Kamenashi, I have other plans,” Jin snaps as he puts up a hand to shut Kame up. “God, it’s so weird to call my own face ‘Kamenashi’,” he mutters as an afterthought.
“And what exactly is it that you have planned? You seem to be always idling your time away when you’re back in Japan,” Kame’s patience is wearing thin.
“Precisely what you just said. I wish to idle, no, actually, more like bury my head under the covers and sleep till this disaster goes away….”
“Don’t you dare stick my own tongue out at me, Akanishi,” Kame warns and Jin retracts the impulse, surprised that such sternness could even be conjured up in his body.
“Besides,” continues Kame, “what if this is permanent?”
“It wouldn’t be,” Jin denies with less than disguised devastation, “Would it? Oh God! I don’t want to be an anal little prick for the rest of my life!”
Kame pretends to ignore that statement, firstly because he needs Jin to work with him on this, and secondly, it will result in an epic fight that he, and by that, he means Jin in his body, has no time for.
“Jin,” Kame tries again, “please, we have to get on with our lives, and I’ll go for all your schedules too. And, I promise we’ll sit down and figure how to fix this, after you do this thing for me. Please.” Kame musters up the most coaxing look he can with Jin’s features.
The look Kame sees as Jin begrudgingly gives in startles Kame slightly. Is that the look he always has on when he gives in to Jin on every occasion? It looks pretty pathetic from his vantage point.
“Fuck, alright, alright,” Jin ruffles the hair on his head only to feel disconcerted because it wasn’t as thick and coarse as what he is used to, instead, it was soft and wispy, like a distant memory that still stirs something in him.
“Thank you!” Kame springs up and takes Jin by the hand.
“What are you doing?” Jin tries to release himself from Kame’s grip, but Kame’s just that slight bit stronger in his body.
“Helping you wash up and pick your outfit. I don’t trust you to clean my body up, and your sense of fashion, don’t even get me started,” Kame chides as he leads the disgruntled Jin into the bathroom.
*
In the end, Kame has to go with Jin to his meeting. He had attempted to assess Jin’s knowledge of baseball as he tried to get Jin dressed. He had soon given up though, because it became very obvious that Jin had no interest in anything baseball.
“It’s not like you know anything about soccer,” Jin had retorted before complaining as Kame began pulling a pair of skinny jeans out of the wardrobe, “I refuse to wear those drain-pipes. I don’t like my boys to feel restricted.” Resigned, Kame had reached for a more loose-fitting pair, Kame is best jeanist after all, which is his excuse for having an obscenely huge jeans collection, and tossed it to Jin.
“I at least know who Honda is.”
“That’s different. You think he’s cute. And I know Ichiro, so there!”
“He’s not even playing in Japan, and you only know him because of the beer commercial.”
“Why should I know about baseball? It’s your sport, not mine.”
Suffice to say, Jin had inspired no confidence, which is why Kame finds himself in the passenger seat of his own car with Jin driving, head still throbbing slightly. At least the meeting is at the TV studio, and not the jimusho. Kame doesn’t think he could bring about enough acting prowess to be Jin in front of people who knows them well.
*
The minute they walk into the meeting room, Kame, after greeting everyone, habitually walks up to his usual seat and starts leafing through the stack of production notes.
“Akanishi-san? Akanishi-san?”
“He means you, idiot.”
Kame hears the harsh whisper and realizes what he was doing. He quickly scrambles up and offers the seat to Jin, which Jin sits on very reluctantly.
“Right, now that everyone’s here, we can begin our meeting….” says the producer before pausing.
“Errr….Akanishi-san?”
It still takes Kame a while to realize that the producer was talking to him.
“Yes?”
“Are you planning to stay here with us for this meeting?”
“Errrr...I…kinda….would….erm….” Kame tries to think of a valid reason why he has parked himself in the corner of the room. He is surprised at himself that he hasn’t thought of an excuse for this. He blames Jin’s alcohol-clogged brain for impairing his ability to think on his feet.
“He wanted to learn more about baseball, although why the sudden interest, I have no idea. Is it alright if he stayed?” Jin pipes in, his voice a monotone of boredom and disinterest. Seems like Kame’s brain is working for Jin, at least.
Permission is granted, and fortunately, the meeting goes by without a hitch, with Kame interjecting every now and then to make pertinent inquiries disguised as innocent baseball questions that Jin would not even think of asking with regards to the filming. Jin sits there and finds himself unconsciously trying to absorb everything. Although he doesn’t have a clue what the hell the baseball terms mean, he is at least able to understand his, or rather, Kame’s schedule for the shoot, which doesn’t help his escalating bad mood. He pictures the look that Kame always has on when he’s supremely pissed off, eyes narrowed, lips pursed thin. Jin’s pretty sure he looks like that now but manages to keep it together, and even summons up a smile for the production team before he storms out of the room after them, refusing to even look at Kame who follows along behind.
Once in the parking lot, Jin turns and points a finger at his own face opposite him.
“This is a one time thing, alright, Kamenashi? I’m going home now to sleep the rest of this horrible day away.”
“It’ll be my apartment then, since you’re sort of me at the moment.”
“Fuck this,” Jin says through gritted teeth as he starts the engine of Kame’s Prius. He waits for Kame to get in before stepping hard on the accelerator, showing just how pissed off he is.
“Thank you.”
Jin hears the words spoken softly. He doesn’t need to look to know that Kame is sitting rim-rod straight, hands griping both sides of the seat - a posture Kame defaults to when he finds things awkward and difficult. Jin merely grunts. “I had better be back in my body tomorrow.”
*
There was this spot in the city that they often go to. It’s a high point that overlooks most of Tokyo. At night, the city lights twinkle and it is both exciting and soothing at the same time. It is amazing how this place has yet to be discovered and turned commercial (Kame had once thought that it would be a perfect spot for a romantic little bistro), but both Jin and Kame were glad that it’s not. This place was their little secret.
They had stumbled onto this place at a photoshoot, one of those Duet, Potato, Myojo mish-mesh, as Jin liked to call it. It was many years ago, when Kame still had bushy eyebrows and Jin, his eternal lopsided grin. They were bored waiting for their turn - Nakamaru was having a nose complex and it was taking a while for the photographer to convince him that his nose did not look big at that angle - so they had snuck off to explore. Jin had scrambled up the slight grassy hill first, turning back to see that Kame was right behind him.
Both boys stood side by side as they took in the view for the first time. More so than the scenery, what struck them both was the peace and quiet that they felt just by being there, like they were ordinary boys, and all they had to worry about were friends and homework, nothing like their world of competition, manipulation and politics that they were slowly beginning to be more keenly aware and wary of.
Kame used the place more often in the early years. Even at that young age, growing up in the JE jimusho, Kame bore responsibility and experienced stress much more than his peers. Even though he would never show it at work, in fact, some masochistic part of him even enjoyed the pressure, there were times that he would seek refuge in this little patch of green. Sometimes, Jin would be there as well, but Jin’s problems were always much simpler - girls ignoring his advances, friends drifting apart, parents giving him grief for dropping out of high school - but it never stopped Jin from brooding. The two boys would sit side by side, watching the sunset, witnessing the transformation of the city as day gave way to night. They would barely talk, but ever so often, tips of fingers would brush, seeking comfort in the warm hold of a hand. It didn’t take very long for it to become usual for Jin’s arm to go around Kame’s shoulder while Kame’s head rested on his.
*
Jin can’t sleep. He had spent a good part of what remained of the afternoon tossing and turning in Kame’s, admittedly, very comfortable bed. He begrudges that he doesn’t feel like himself, but what should he expect, he was in Kame’s lighter, more graceful, body. Jin thinks that it must be the reason for being out of character, pushing out thoughts that the bed had a faint scent that triggers something buried deep within, or the thought of how Kame managed to look like Kame even through his own face, with eyes that said so much and nothing at all, at the same time.
Kame had followed Jin up to his apartment, and had started instructing Jin on where things where. Of course, in typical fashion, Jin had been reticent.
“Jin,” Kame had said with thinly veiled exasperation, “you have to listen. What if this is not a one-day thing? We have to be logical. You need to know about me, and I need to know about you.”
“I know enough about you, Kamenashi, to know that I don’t want to know more,” Jin had retorted, immediately regretting the words as soon as they flew out of his, well, Kame’s, lips.
The silence that had followed was chilling. Jin stood his ground however, and watched his own face tighten and become unreadable.
“The feeling’s mutual, Akanishi,” Kame had said quietly before turning on his heels and leaving. But, no matter how controlled he had appeared to be, he couldn’t help but slam the door hard on his way out.
Flinching at the recollection, Jin sits up. He looks around in the dim light of twilight, trying unconsciously to look for something that indicated a past, their past. But, the apartment, just like Kame, is like a locked treasure chest, opulent and extravagant on the outside, taunting everyone with the promise of something more valuable inside, but no one can really know what it is without a key. Jin used to think he was that key, but now, he doesn’t know where he stands with Kame anymore.
He walks up to the mirror and gazes at the face in it, the face that he used to spend hours just looking at. It is so strange to him now, there are lines that weren’t there before, and a general darker countenance. There is something that Jin wishes to see in Kame’s face, however, and he tries to form it. It’s a look that flashes in his memory from time to time, but however much he tries to recreate it in the mirror, it comes out wrong. For a moment, Jin wonders what Kame thinks of when he makes that expression.
“Fuck this.”
The phrase seems to be Jin’s motto for this out-of-this-world and helluva annoying situation that they are in. He walks heavy footed to the kitchen and raids Kame’s wine fridge, picking out the most expensive looking bottle and hugs it back to the bedroom. Kame owes him, Jin rationalizes as he takes a big swig straight from the bottle.
*
Kame had never understood how Jin could live in such a pigsty, and he really doesn’t want to start understanding now. He sighs as he picks up the soiled clothes off the floor, smelling of stale sweat, cigarettes and alcohol. He brings the load to the washer and has to look around for the laundry detergent. Kame clicks his tongue when he finds it in a cabinet filled with old action figurines instead of on the shelf on top of the washer where it should be. As he lets the washer do its job, Kame ties his, or rather, Jin’s, hair up (it was getting into his eyes, and he wonders how on earth can Jin stand it), and begins to tidy up. Kame has always been a little bit of a clean freak, but tidying up Jin’s apartment had been more of a ritual than obsessive compulsiveness in the past, something that was done so often that it activates the auto-pilot mode in him now.
Another thing that Kame cannot understand about Jin is his ability to just shut down and not deal, when things get hard. It has always been a flaw, but Kame thought that Jin would have grown out of it by now, considering everything that has happened. Evidently not, Kame sighs in resignation.
By the time Jin’s apartment is livable by Kame’s standards, Kame, or Kame in Jin’s body, is drenched in perspiration from head to toe. He drags himself to the shower, hoping, against his better mind that things can’t possibly be so easy, that Jin is right, that this supernatural phenomenon has a one-day expiration. He really doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life as Akanishi Jin. It was hard enough to be with him, Kame doesn’t want to imagine how much harder it would be to actually be him.
The hot water steams up the bathroom as Kame stands in front of the mirror, waiting for the bath to fill. He looks at Jin’s body and is both mildly irritated and reassured that it is almost exactly the same as he remembers it, except that Jin has lost weight. Kame brings a hand to touch Jin’s chest, and feels the bumps of his ribs that weren’t present the last time Kame touched Jin. His gaze wanders to Jin’s collarbones. Kame presses a finger to one of them, and feels a slight tingle. He strokes the length of it gently, just like how he remembers doing, and the sensation rests on the cusp of ticklish, but not quite. In fact, it’s rather arousing. Kame smiles and sees Jin smirk back at him in the mirror. So this is how Jin felt when Kame touched him this way. Jin’s body had always reacted quickly to Kame’s touches, and as Kame further explored, Kame realizes he remembers everything about Jin’s body. His fingers graze the spots that like to be grazed, and rub the areas that like to be rubbed. Soon, even before Kame really knows what he is doing, the body he is in is fully turned on, the throbbing ache hard to ignore.
Sinking into the bath, Kame tries to control the sensations. But, if there is anything that Kame knows about Jin, it is Jin’s body. It will never calm down unless it was fully satiated. At the back of Kame’s mind, he is glad that at least something hasn’t changed; there is at least this that connects Kame to Jin. Kame tugs at the erection and closes his eyes, experiencing the reactions of the body that was not his. He flicks his wrist and runs a thumb over the head, just the way Jin used to like it, and feels tension shivers down Jin’s spine as the body arches. The breathing is shallow, and it is weird that both Kame’s mind and Jin’s body know that the end is near. A last pull and twist, and semen joins the bath water. Coming down from the high, Kame buries Jin’s face in his hands, and wonders for the millionth time why.
*
“You’re angry,” young Kame arrived and sat beside Jin on the grassy hill. The Tokyo lights were the same as they always are.
“Of course I am, wouldn’t you be?” Jin replied, his first words to Kame in a week. It seemed like this place was the only place that broke down the wall between them. How the wall came to be in the first place was incomprehensible even to them. Everyday, they were pitted against each other, and no matter how many trials and successes they shared, it was ultimately a competition.
“I don’t want to apologize Jin. All I’ve done is work hard. It’s something that I want. Of course, it would be good if all of you are standing next to me, but if I have to do this alone with Pi, I will.”
“You’re going to leave me behind, Kazuya,” was all Jin said, never taking his eyes away from the night view.
“You’re going to leave first,” Kame predicted with a smile, and placed his head on Jin’s shoulder, just like he always did.
“Let’s be quiet, shall we?” Kame continued. “Our fight will be waiting for us at the jimusho, and you can hate me all you want there. But here, let’s not hate each other here.”
It was then that Jin tilted Kame’s head up, with a finger under Kame’s chin, and brought their lips together - their first kiss.
*
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
Jin opens the door with the biggest scowl he can form on Kame’s face, and succeeds to deepen it when he sees his own face looking at him with disdain. It’s déjà vu and Jin feels sick, aided by the bottle of wine he had consumed the night before.
“I’m still in your body, so I presume you’re still in mine?” Kame asks rhetorically as he pushes past Jin.
“You do realize that it’s your own door you’re trying to break,” Jin mumbles as he plods to the kitchen and looks around.
“Coffee filters in the cabinet above your head,” Kame says as he walks around to see if anything is out of order. He spies a wine bottle rolling on his bedroom floor and walks to pick it up, tongue clicking.
“Aspirin is in the drawer on the left. Take 2, my body doesn’t function with a headache…..JIN! THIS WAS MY MOST EXPENSIVE BOTTLE!” Kame’s screech is even more high pitched with Jin’s voice.
Jin winces as he takes the medication, “Shut up Kame, your head hurts.”
“You deserve more than a headache. If it isn’t my groin, I would have kneed you in it by now. I can only take comfort that my headaches don’t go away as quickly as yours,” Kame huffs as he sits himself on his couch.
Jin joins him, and is relieved that, contrary to what Kame is bitching about, the medication seems to be working.
A little more comfortable as the pain ebbs, Jin turns to examine his own face, thinking that since Kame was inspecting the apartment, he should inspect something of his.
“Why are you looking at me so suspiciously?” Kame shifts uncomfortably as his own eyes surveys him up and down.
“Why does my face have my after-sex glow?” Jin asks accusingly.
“Your what?!” Kame tries to appear indignant even though he knows exactly what Jin is talking about.
“Kame, I know it’s easy to pick up people with my looks and body, but seriously, I hope you used protection. Please don’t give me back a body riddled with diseases….”
“Shut up! I did not pick anyone up, ok?” Kame defends himself.
“Then how…..don’t tell me…….? Damn, I should have done it too then….” It is completely disconcerting for Kame to see his own perfectly tweezed eyebrows wag at him. He chooses to ignore Jin and takes a deep breath.
“So, schedule for today. I have a meeting with KAT-TUN to discuss plans for our 5th anniversary celebratory concerts. The meeting’s in 2 hours so before you go, let’s run through some main points…..”
“Whoa whoa whoa! What? Who said I was going to do this for you again? It was a one time thing.”
“Jin,” Kame chastises, “You can’t possibly not have anything you want me to do on your behalf. Aren’t you in the midst of a concert tour? You must have rehearsals.”
“I don’t need rehearsals. I’ve done the set so many times, I can hold the concert in my sleep. So, don’t come around and try to manipulate me and……..what did you just say?”
“I said, but I don’t know your songs, and your set list, and I certainly can’t perform your concert in my sleep, so…….”
Jin finally grasps the situation. He groans and sinks further into the couch.
“What’s today’s date?”
“January 18th,” Kame says off the cuff, and Jin starts chanting in his head that this is not happening.
“I have a 3-day run in Osaka starting on the 21st,” Jin says, finally somewhat serious and business-like.
“I know,” Kame nods.
“How do you know? You’ve never even attempted to care about what I do since……” Jin can’t bring himself to complete his sentence.
“I..I…” Kame stutters and then recovers, “Well, your posters are plastered all over the jimusho, it’s hard not to see them.”
“We have to change back by then, Kazuya,” Jin replies, choosing to go with the intimate, hoping the importance of the situation will resound with Kame.
Kame does not need any more emphasis on how important it is for them to switch back, but it isn’t anything he can control.
“What if we don’t, Jin?”
Jin is about to chew on Kame’s nails when Kame slaps the hand away.
Part 2
It was the mention from Ueda perhaps, when they had bumped into each other earlier in the day with Kame on the way out of the jimusho gym, and Ueda on the way in.
“Just thought you might want to know that Jin’s back, and has been back for sometime.” Why Ueda thought he needed to be informed of that, Kame had no clue.
“So?” Kame had responded nonchalantly, pretending he did not know that Jin is not only back, but is also in the middle of a nationwide tour.
“Nothing. I just overheard some juniors say they were thinking of going to his show again tonight. Said it was fun, different. Maybe KAT-TUN should show our support too? Make it a bonding trip to Osaka or something.”
“Maybe,” Kame had said, not really committing. “Good luck convincing Koki,” was his last shot to Ueda before they parted ways.
The knowledge of Jin’s show had plagued him from then on, so much so that he found himself walking, camouflaged of course, the narrow lane in Harajuku just 2 hours before the concert. The price of the ticket was crazy exorbitant, but Kame found himself paying for it.
He hasn’t seen Jin in a long time, and maybe it is not wise to see him like this, the centre of attention, holding the fort all by himself. Being successful, all by himself. It’s not that Kame is jealous, Kame can hold the audience just as well, or even better, than Jin can, Kame understands the fundamentals of fan service too well. It’s not that Kame begrudges Jin of success. It’s nothing like that. In fact, he wishes Jin all the success in the world. When Kame really thinks about it, even if he chooses not to, it boils down to not being part of it all, not being part of Jin’s life, not anymore.
The show is as spectacular as Kame expects it to be. He feels a choke in his throat as he acknowledges that Jin’s dreams are slowly coming true, dreams that Kame know so much about. But, as Kame watches, he feels something else too. It is nothing obvious. It just seems like Jin knows he is there. Impossible, Kame thinks. There are so many faces. Why is it then, that he feels Jin’s eyes searching, even though hidden in the shadows of his fedora, for someone?
Kame has heard the song before, Pi had been humming it for weeks after he did that duet with Jin at his own solo concert. It never meant anything to Kame, not until this very moment. Jin is hovering way above the crowd, singing as though this song means everything to him. The whole show had been full of gimmicks and fantastic effects, and Jin looked great, but it is here, right now, when Jin is stripped bare of everything but his voice, that is so mesmerizingly beautiful. Kame cannot tear his eyes away, recognizing for the first time in a long time the Jin that he knows.
For a moment, Kame is sure that Jin is looking straight at him. The lyrics of the song swim around him and his chest suddenly feels tight. Jin seems to also be feeling something, his voice wavers a little, only noticed by Kame, but Kame is not sure. Something seems to be there, but not, at the same time. Kame doesn’t want to stay to find out what this strange vibe is. He stands just as Jin’s crane swings away, and walks out to the tune of Eternal in his ears.
*
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“hhhuuurrggghhh???” Jin stirs and pries his eyes open.
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“W-what??” Jin begins to come to himself as he sits up in bed.
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“W-who???” Jin stumbles out of the bedroom, bumping into things as he approaches the door. He’s still somewhat asleep.
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
“JESUS! I’M COMING!” Jin yells as he reaches for the knob and swings the front door open forcefully, all ready to spill a stream of vulgarities at the person who has the audacity to wake him up so early in the morning, never mind that it is already almost 10am.
“There had better be a damn good reason……” Jin stops short as he reels from what he sees, so shocked that he stumbles back and trips on the step that separates the genkan from the living area that he never knew he had.
*
“This must be a dream, this must be a dream, this must be a dream…OWWWWW!!” Jin, who had been crouching in a fetal position and rocking on the spot at the exact place he had fallen, is now protesting and rubbing his arm where his visitor had pinched him.
“Damn it, I shouldn’t have done that. It’s going to bruise. I bruise too easily.”
At the sound of the voice he had heard in his head all his life, Jin looks up and stares straight into familiar eyes, eyes he sees everyday when he looks in the mirror, except this time, those eyes had on a look that Jin had never ever seen in them before. On another person’s eyes, however……..
Jin almost cowers when this person he now recognizes as his exact replica hauls him up and drags him to the bedroom.
“Wait a minute! What are you doing? Are you my long lost brother? Mum never mentioned that I was the other half of twins! Reio’s going to have a fit! What do you want? Money? I’m not rich you know. Contrary to popular belief, idols don’t get paid very much, and I’m broke……” Jin sputters in panic.
“Shut up and look in the mirror.”
Cringing at the command in the voice that he knows too well, he raises his eyes to look.
“Kame?” Jin says, watching the lips of the reflection opposite him mimic that exact word. Dumbfounded, Jin tries raising his arm, and the reflection that is not him raises the corresponding arm. Jin makes a kissy face, and the reflection makes it too, looking very odd because a kissy face was not a commonly seen expression on the face of reflection that was doing exactly what Jin was doing.
“Figured it out yet?” The Akanishi Jin beside Jin crosses his arms impatiently.
“Kame?” Jin utters again hesitantly, turning to look at the ‘him’ he was standing beside.
“Very good, Jin. NOW, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!”
And it was only then that Jin realizes that he’s standing in Kame’s bedroom, in Kame’s very pristine apartment.
*
“How….? What…..? I don’t even……” Jin attempts to think, but it’s all too much to absorb without coffee in his system. Wait, why is he craving coffee? He doesn’t have the habit of drinking coffee in the morning.
“I don’t know either. I woke up this morning at 6.30am as usual because I have a production meeting for Going at 8am, and I wanted to go to the gym and get my morning coffee before I start the day, and then I went to the bathroom, only I couldn't at first because the bathroom door wasn’t in its usual place, and then I saw my, I mean, your reflection in the mirror, and I realized I was in your apartment, and I freaked out and froze and……..”
It’s so strange hearing Kame’s paranoid spiels, something that Jin’s very accustomed to, coming out of Jin’s own mouth, in Jin’s own voice. It has been a while since he had heard Kame’s ramblings that in spite of himself and the out-of-this-world predicament they are in, Jin smiles.
“Why are you smiling with my mouth?” Kame stops and asks, brows furrowed.
“Why are you frowning with my forehead?” Jin retorts, feeling a little snappish.
“I’m not frowning. I’m having a little bit of a headache,” Kame squints and continues, “Anyway, so, I worked out that if I’m in your body, most likely you would be in mine, so I washed up and came over. Took me a really long time though. God, Jin, don’t you have anything else besides unwashed jeans and faded hoodies?”
Jin clicks his tongue as Kame stands and pads to the kitchen. Kame works the coffee maker. Somehow, the sound of the machine whirring soothes Jin.
“While you’re in the kitchen, you should take some painkillers. The headache you’re having is a hangover. I partied rather hard last night,” Jin informs a little sheepishly as he gets up to join Kame at the kitchen counter.
It is Kame’s turn to click his tongue. “I should thank my lucky stars, then, that I woke up alone in your apartment instead of some loose woman’s,” Kame spits and Jin prickles but keeps quiet. He’s still trying to wrap his head around the current situation and is in no mood to engage with Kame as he usually would.
Nonetheless, Kame heeds Jin’s advice. Once he downs two tablets, he pours a mug of freshly made coffee and hands it to Jin over the counter.
“My body doesn’t function well without coffee in the morning,” Kame explains as Jin sips the coffee slowly. Kame observes how the ingestion of coffee calms his entire body, even if Jin is in it, and Kame silently resolves to cut down on coffee when and if they get out of this mess. He hopes it’s more “when” than “if”. Kame hates to be dependent, be it to people or to things. Kame pours himself a cup, even as the body that he is in is constantly telling him to go back to bed. God, lazy Jin, Kame complains in his head.
Mid-drink, Jin’s mind suddenly bolts up, whether it’s the coffee or otherwise, and he exclaims, “Wait a minute! You washed up? That means you’ve … er …. seen …..er…..”
Raising an eyebrow, a very Kame move on Jin’s facial expression, Kame says over his coffee mug, “It’s nothing I’ve not seen before. We’ve had sex Jin, even if you wish to block it out of your memory.”
“Still, it doesn’t give you the right to look at my naked body without my permission,” Jin huffs and settles into the couch. Kame sighs. Some things never change, Kame thinks, even as he shudders slightly at how Jin is mistreating his body by slouching. Kame sits down beside Jin, knowing full well, from experience, that he has to say the right words to prevent Jin from regressing into a child. The Jin-child typically takes a while to become an adult again, and Kame can’t afford to wait. There are matters to attend to. Except, Kame does not really know what the right words are anymore. It has been too long, and they have changed so much.
“Jin,” Kame begins and becomes a little disconcerted when his own pair of eyes turn to look at him. Kame ploughs on, “I have a schedule today. It’s not as packed as other days, only this meeting that I was supposed to go to this morning that I have pushed till this afternoon, considering the, erm, circumstances….”
“So? What’s it gotta do with me?” Jin says flippantly.
Kame takes a deep breath and fights the urge to give Jin a slap across the face. It isn’t so much that he doesn’t want to hurt Jin, it is more about not scarring his own precious face. “You’re me now, Jin, for goodness knows how long. Until we find a way to reverse this, we have to lead each other’s lives for a while. It’s important I attend this meeting. I have to play an actual game with the Saitama Lions in a couple of days, and I need to know the logistics. There are several players I need to interview…….”
“Solve your own problems, Kamenashi, I have other plans,” Jin snaps as he puts up a hand to shut Kame up. “God, it’s so weird to call my own face ‘Kamenashi’,” he mutters as an afterthought.
“And what exactly is it that you have planned? You seem to be always idling your time away when you’re back in Japan,” Kame’s patience is wearing thin.
“Precisely what you just said. I wish to idle, no, actually, more like bury my head under the covers and sleep till this disaster goes away….”
“Don’t you dare stick my own tongue out at me, Akanishi,” Kame warns and Jin retracts the impulse, surprised that such sternness could even be conjured up in his body.
“Besides,” continues Kame, “what if this is permanent?”
“It wouldn’t be,” Jin denies with less than disguised devastation, “Would it? Oh God! I don’t want to be an anal little prick for the rest of my life!”
Kame pretends to ignore that statement, firstly because he needs Jin to work with him on this, and secondly, it will result in an epic fight that he, and by that, he means Jin in his body, has no time for.
“Jin,” Kame tries again, “please, we have to get on with our lives, and I’ll go for all your schedules too. And, I promise we’ll sit down and figure how to fix this, after you do this thing for me. Please.” Kame musters up the most coaxing look he can with Jin’s features.
The look Kame sees as Jin begrudgingly gives in startles Kame slightly. Is that the look he always has on when he gives in to Jin on every occasion? It looks pretty pathetic from his vantage point.
“Fuck, alright, alright,” Jin ruffles the hair on his head only to feel disconcerted because it wasn’t as thick and coarse as what he is used to, instead, it was soft and wispy, like a distant memory that still stirs something in him.
“Thank you!” Kame springs up and takes Jin by the hand.
“What are you doing?” Jin tries to release himself from Kame’s grip, but Kame’s just that slight bit stronger in his body.
“Helping you wash up and pick your outfit. I don’t trust you to clean my body up, and your sense of fashion, don’t even get me started,” Kame chides as he leads the disgruntled Jin into the bathroom.
*
In the end, Kame has to go with Jin to his meeting. He had attempted to assess Jin’s knowledge of baseball as he tried to get Jin dressed. He had soon given up though, because it became very obvious that Jin had no interest in anything baseball.
“It’s not like you know anything about soccer,” Jin had retorted before complaining as Kame began pulling a pair of skinny jeans out of the wardrobe, “I refuse to wear those drain-pipes. I don’t like my boys to feel restricted.” Resigned, Kame had reached for a more loose-fitting pair, Kame is best jeanist after all, which is his excuse for having an obscenely huge jeans collection, and tossed it to Jin.
“I at least know who Honda is.”
“That’s different. You think he’s cute. And I know Ichiro, so there!”
“He’s not even playing in Japan, and you only know him because of the beer commercial.”
“Why should I know about baseball? It’s your sport, not mine.”
Suffice to say, Jin had inspired no confidence, which is why Kame finds himself in the passenger seat of his own car with Jin driving, head still throbbing slightly. At least the meeting is at the TV studio, and not the jimusho. Kame doesn’t think he could bring about enough acting prowess to be Jin in front of people who knows them well.
*
The minute they walk into the meeting room, Kame, after greeting everyone, habitually walks up to his usual seat and starts leafing through the stack of production notes.
“Akanishi-san? Akanishi-san?”
“He means you, idiot.”
Kame hears the harsh whisper and realizes what he was doing. He quickly scrambles up and offers the seat to Jin, which Jin sits on very reluctantly.
“Right, now that everyone’s here, we can begin our meeting….” says the producer before pausing.
“Errr….Akanishi-san?”
It still takes Kame a while to realize that the producer was talking to him.
“Yes?”
“Are you planning to stay here with us for this meeting?”
“Errrr...I…kinda….would….erm….” Kame tries to think of a valid reason why he has parked himself in the corner of the room. He is surprised at himself that he hasn’t thought of an excuse for this. He blames Jin’s alcohol-clogged brain for impairing his ability to think on his feet.
“He wanted to learn more about baseball, although why the sudden interest, I have no idea. Is it alright if he stayed?” Jin pipes in, his voice a monotone of boredom and disinterest. Seems like Kame’s brain is working for Jin, at least.
Permission is granted, and fortunately, the meeting goes by without a hitch, with Kame interjecting every now and then to make pertinent inquiries disguised as innocent baseball questions that Jin would not even think of asking with regards to the filming. Jin sits there and finds himself unconsciously trying to absorb everything. Although he doesn’t have a clue what the hell the baseball terms mean, he is at least able to understand his, or rather, Kame’s schedule for the shoot, which doesn’t help his escalating bad mood. He pictures the look that Kame always has on when he’s supremely pissed off, eyes narrowed, lips pursed thin. Jin’s pretty sure he looks like that now but manages to keep it together, and even summons up a smile for the production team before he storms out of the room after them, refusing to even look at Kame who follows along behind.
Once in the parking lot, Jin turns and points a finger at his own face opposite him.
“This is a one time thing, alright, Kamenashi? I’m going home now to sleep the rest of this horrible day away.”
“It’ll be my apartment then, since you’re sort of me at the moment.”
“Fuck this,” Jin says through gritted teeth as he starts the engine of Kame’s Prius. He waits for Kame to get in before stepping hard on the accelerator, showing just how pissed off he is.
“Thank you.”
Jin hears the words spoken softly. He doesn’t need to look to know that Kame is sitting rim-rod straight, hands griping both sides of the seat - a posture Kame defaults to when he finds things awkward and difficult. Jin merely grunts. “I had better be back in my body tomorrow.”
*
There was this spot in the city that they often go to. It’s a high point that overlooks most of Tokyo. At night, the city lights twinkle and it is both exciting and soothing at the same time. It is amazing how this place has yet to be discovered and turned commercial (Kame had once thought that it would be a perfect spot for a romantic little bistro), but both Jin and Kame were glad that it’s not. This place was their little secret.
They had stumbled onto this place at a photoshoot, one of those Duet, Potato, Myojo mish-mesh, as Jin liked to call it. It was many years ago, when Kame still had bushy eyebrows and Jin, his eternal lopsided grin. They were bored waiting for their turn - Nakamaru was having a nose complex and it was taking a while for the photographer to convince him that his nose did not look big at that angle - so they had snuck off to explore. Jin had scrambled up the slight grassy hill first, turning back to see that Kame was right behind him.
Both boys stood side by side as they took in the view for the first time. More so than the scenery, what struck them both was the peace and quiet that they felt just by being there, like they were ordinary boys, and all they had to worry about were friends and homework, nothing like their world of competition, manipulation and politics that they were slowly beginning to be more keenly aware and wary of.
Kame used the place more often in the early years. Even at that young age, growing up in the JE jimusho, Kame bore responsibility and experienced stress much more than his peers. Even though he would never show it at work, in fact, some masochistic part of him even enjoyed the pressure, there were times that he would seek refuge in this little patch of green. Sometimes, Jin would be there as well, but Jin’s problems were always much simpler - girls ignoring his advances, friends drifting apart, parents giving him grief for dropping out of high school - but it never stopped Jin from brooding. The two boys would sit side by side, watching the sunset, witnessing the transformation of the city as day gave way to night. They would barely talk, but ever so often, tips of fingers would brush, seeking comfort in the warm hold of a hand. It didn’t take very long for it to become usual for Jin’s arm to go around Kame’s shoulder while Kame’s head rested on his.
*
Jin can’t sleep. He had spent a good part of what remained of the afternoon tossing and turning in Kame’s, admittedly, very comfortable bed. He begrudges that he doesn’t feel like himself, but what should he expect, he was in Kame’s lighter, more graceful, body. Jin thinks that it must be the reason for being out of character, pushing out thoughts that the bed had a faint scent that triggers something buried deep within, or the thought of how Kame managed to look like Kame even through his own face, with eyes that said so much and nothing at all, at the same time.
Kame had followed Jin up to his apartment, and had started instructing Jin on where things where. Of course, in typical fashion, Jin had been reticent.
“Jin,” Kame had said with thinly veiled exasperation, “you have to listen. What if this is not a one-day thing? We have to be logical. You need to know about me, and I need to know about you.”
“I know enough about you, Kamenashi, to know that I don’t want to know more,” Jin had retorted, immediately regretting the words as soon as they flew out of his, well, Kame’s, lips.
The silence that had followed was chilling. Jin stood his ground however, and watched his own face tighten and become unreadable.
“The feeling’s mutual, Akanishi,” Kame had said quietly before turning on his heels and leaving. But, no matter how controlled he had appeared to be, he couldn’t help but slam the door hard on his way out.
Flinching at the recollection, Jin sits up. He looks around in the dim light of twilight, trying unconsciously to look for something that indicated a past, their past. But, the apartment, just like Kame, is like a locked treasure chest, opulent and extravagant on the outside, taunting everyone with the promise of something more valuable inside, but no one can really know what it is without a key. Jin used to think he was that key, but now, he doesn’t know where he stands with Kame anymore.
He walks up to the mirror and gazes at the face in it, the face that he used to spend hours just looking at. It is so strange to him now, there are lines that weren’t there before, and a general darker countenance. There is something that Jin wishes to see in Kame’s face, however, and he tries to form it. It’s a look that flashes in his memory from time to time, but however much he tries to recreate it in the mirror, it comes out wrong. For a moment, Jin wonders what Kame thinks of when he makes that expression.
“Fuck this.”
The phrase seems to be Jin’s motto for this out-of-this-world and helluva annoying situation that they are in. He walks heavy footed to the kitchen and raids Kame’s wine fridge, picking out the most expensive looking bottle and hugs it back to the bedroom. Kame owes him, Jin rationalizes as he takes a big swig straight from the bottle.
*
Kame had never understood how Jin could live in such a pigsty, and he really doesn’t want to start understanding now. He sighs as he picks up the soiled clothes off the floor, smelling of stale sweat, cigarettes and alcohol. He brings the load to the washer and has to look around for the laundry detergent. Kame clicks his tongue when he finds it in a cabinet filled with old action figurines instead of on the shelf on top of the washer where it should be. As he lets the washer do its job, Kame ties his, or rather, Jin’s, hair up (it was getting into his eyes, and he wonders how on earth can Jin stand it), and begins to tidy up. Kame has always been a little bit of a clean freak, but tidying up Jin’s apartment had been more of a ritual than obsessive compulsiveness in the past, something that was done so often that it activates the auto-pilot mode in him now.
Another thing that Kame cannot understand about Jin is his ability to just shut down and not deal, when things get hard. It has always been a flaw, but Kame thought that Jin would have grown out of it by now, considering everything that has happened. Evidently not, Kame sighs in resignation.
By the time Jin’s apartment is livable by Kame’s standards, Kame, or Kame in Jin’s body, is drenched in perspiration from head to toe. He drags himself to the shower, hoping, against his better mind that things can’t possibly be so easy, that Jin is right, that this supernatural phenomenon has a one-day expiration. He really doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life as Akanishi Jin. It was hard enough to be with him, Kame doesn’t want to imagine how much harder it would be to actually be him.
The hot water steams up the bathroom as Kame stands in front of the mirror, waiting for the bath to fill. He looks at Jin’s body and is both mildly irritated and reassured that it is almost exactly the same as he remembers it, except that Jin has lost weight. Kame brings a hand to touch Jin’s chest, and feels the bumps of his ribs that weren’t present the last time Kame touched Jin. His gaze wanders to Jin’s collarbones. Kame presses a finger to one of them, and feels a slight tingle. He strokes the length of it gently, just like how he remembers doing, and the sensation rests on the cusp of ticklish, but not quite. In fact, it’s rather arousing. Kame smiles and sees Jin smirk back at him in the mirror. So this is how Jin felt when Kame touched him this way. Jin’s body had always reacted quickly to Kame’s touches, and as Kame further explored, Kame realizes he remembers everything about Jin’s body. His fingers graze the spots that like to be grazed, and rub the areas that like to be rubbed. Soon, even before Kame really knows what he is doing, the body he is in is fully turned on, the throbbing ache hard to ignore.
Sinking into the bath, Kame tries to control the sensations. But, if there is anything that Kame knows about Jin, it is Jin’s body. It will never calm down unless it was fully satiated. At the back of Kame’s mind, he is glad that at least something hasn’t changed; there is at least this that connects Kame to Jin. Kame tugs at the erection and closes his eyes, experiencing the reactions of the body that was not his. He flicks his wrist and runs a thumb over the head, just the way Jin used to like it, and feels tension shivers down Jin’s spine as the body arches. The breathing is shallow, and it is weird that both Kame’s mind and Jin’s body know that the end is near. A last pull and twist, and semen joins the bath water. Coming down from the high, Kame buries Jin’s face in his hands, and wonders for the millionth time why.
*
“You’re angry,” young Kame arrived and sat beside Jin on the grassy hill. The Tokyo lights were the same as they always are.
“Of course I am, wouldn’t you be?” Jin replied, his first words to Kame in a week. It seemed like this place was the only place that broke down the wall between them. How the wall came to be in the first place was incomprehensible even to them. Everyday, they were pitted against each other, and no matter how many trials and successes they shared, it was ultimately a competition.
“I don’t want to apologize Jin. All I’ve done is work hard. It’s something that I want. Of course, it would be good if all of you are standing next to me, but if I have to do this alone with Pi, I will.”
“You’re going to leave me behind, Kazuya,” was all Jin said, never taking his eyes away from the night view.
“You’re going to leave first,” Kame predicted with a smile, and placed his head on Jin’s shoulder, just like he always did.
“Let’s be quiet, shall we?” Kame continued. “Our fight will be waiting for us at the jimusho, and you can hate me all you want there. But here, let’s not hate each other here.”
It was then that Jin tilted Kame’s head up, with a finger under Kame’s chin, and brought their lips together - their first kiss.
*
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
knockknockknockknockknockKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!
Jin opens the door with the biggest scowl he can form on Kame’s face, and succeeds to deepen it when he sees his own face looking at him with disdain. It’s déjà vu and Jin feels sick, aided by the bottle of wine he had consumed the night before.
“I’m still in your body, so I presume you’re still in mine?” Kame asks rhetorically as he pushes past Jin.
“You do realize that it’s your own door you’re trying to break,” Jin mumbles as he plods to the kitchen and looks around.
“Coffee filters in the cabinet above your head,” Kame says as he walks around to see if anything is out of order. He spies a wine bottle rolling on his bedroom floor and walks to pick it up, tongue clicking.
“Aspirin is in the drawer on the left. Take 2, my body doesn’t function with a headache…..JIN! THIS WAS MY MOST EXPENSIVE BOTTLE!” Kame’s screech is even more high pitched with Jin’s voice.
Jin winces as he takes the medication, “Shut up Kame, your head hurts.”
“You deserve more than a headache. If it isn’t my groin, I would have kneed you in it by now. I can only take comfort that my headaches don’t go away as quickly as yours,” Kame huffs as he sits himself on his couch.
Jin joins him, and is relieved that, contrary to what Kame is bitching about, the medication seems to be working.
A little more comfortable as the pain ebbs, Jin turns to examine his own face, thinking that since Kame was inspecting the apartment, he should inspect something of his.
“Why are you looking at me so suspiciously?” Kame shifts uncomfortably as his own eyes surveys him up and down.
“Why does my face have my after-sex glow?” Jin asks accusingly.
“Your what?!” Kame tries to appear indignant even though he knows exactly what Jin is talking about.
“Kame, I know it’s easy to pick up people with my looks and body, but seriously, I hope you used protection. Please don’t give me back a body riddled with diseases….”
“Shut up! I did not pick anyone up, ok?” Kame defends himself.
“Then how…..don’t tell me…….? Damn, I should have done it too then….” It is completely disconcerting for Kame to see his own perfectly tweezed eyebrows wag at him. He chooses to ignore Jin and takes a deep breath.
“So, schedule for today. I have a meeting with KAT-TUN to discuss plans for our 5th anniversary celebratory concerts. The meeting’s in 2 hours so before you go, let’s run through some main points…..”
“Whoa whoa whoa! What? Who said I was going to do this for you again? It was a one time thing.”
“Jin,” Kame chastises, “You can’t possibly not have anything you want me to do on your behalf. Aren’t you in the midst of a concert tour? You must have rehearsals.”
“I don’t need rehearsals. I’ve done the set so many times, I can hold the concert in my sleep. So, don’t come around and try to manipulate me and……..what did you just say?”
“I said, but I don’t know your songs, and your set list, and I certainly can’t perform your concert in my sleep, so…….”
Jin finally grasps the situation. He groans and sinks further into the couch.
“What’s today’s date?”
“January 18th,” Kame says off the cuff, and Jin starts chanting in his head that this is not happening.
“I have a 3-day run in Osaka starting on the 21st,” Jin says, finally somewhat serious and business-like.
“I know,” Kame nods.
“How do you know? You’ve never even attempted to care about what I do since……” Jin can’t bring himself to complete his sentence.
“I..I…” Kame stutters and then recovers, “Well, your posters are plastered all over the jimusho, it’s hard not to see them.”
“We have to change back by then, Kazuya,” Jin replies, choosing to go with the intimate, hoping the importance of the situation will resound with Kame.
Kame does not need any more emphasis on how important it is for them to switch back, but it isn’t anything he can control.
“What if we don’t, Jin?”
Jin is about to chew on Kame’s nails when Kame slaps the hand away.
Part 2