Don't call my name out the window, I'M LEAVING
This is long, but please read it. I need advice.
Lately I've been thinking about my life. The current situations I'm in, as well as the other possibilities...for example, Florida. Would I really be happier if I moved back with my mom? True, I have a "typical" home here, but nonetheless, I would be happier if I lived with my om. After all, I was never at home anyway; it was hardly a relevant factor in my life. That in mind, I have to consider the fact that much of the court's decision (about whether or not my mom will get partial custody) is reliant upon my standin point. However, as with everything, there is a CATCH-22:
Most people would consider my situation, and from a quick glance of my past with my mom, say that I should choose to not give her partial custody. However, if she is granted such, I have the full liberty to live with her again, and I would have my life back. As I get my license in a couple weeks, my life down there would basically be just a free room at my my mom's, and I would be independent as far as all other aspects go. I would know how to protect myself from any of the slander, emotional, and physical abuse that my mom may try to force upon me, as the government would now be on my side. I know that at least Michael and Annalisa were happier in Florida as well (I haven't asked Nicolette). Then again, because they are younger, I know that it would be better for them to be brought up in a traditional home. As reality would have it, for every pro, there is a con, and vice versa. What's best for me isn't necessarily better for my brother and sisters. In contrast, living here is extrordinarily painful for me whie beneficial to them.
If home is where the heart is, I never really moved. And both symbolically and literally, I do have a broken home. While I can outwardly adjust here, there is an everpresent knkot in my stomach -- a feeling of anxiety that, even after five months, is as painful as it was that night that I learned I was leaving.
Maybe I should just suck it up and stop thinking about it. After all, I do believe that people have no right to complain about something unless they're trying to change it. That, however, leaves me with a need to reevaluate that: What is someone is trying unsuccessfully to change something? Should they still let it bother them?
True, I can change this ...but not without an equally damaging effect.
Lately I've been thinking about my life. The current situations I'm in, as well as the other possibilities...for example, Florida. Would I really be happier if I moved back with my mom? True, I have a "typical" home here, but nonetheless, I would be happier if I lived with my om. After all, I was never at home anyway; it was hardly a relevant factor in my life. That in mind, I have to consider the fact that much of the court's decision (about whether or not my mom will get partial custody) is reliant upon my standin point. However, as with everything, there is a CATCH-22:
Most people would consider my situation, and from a quick glance of my past with my mom, say that I should choose to not give her partial custody. However, if she is granted such, I have the full liberty to live with her again, and I would have my life back. As I get my license in a couple weeks, my life down there would basically be just a free room at my my mom's, and I would be independent as far as all other aspects go. I would know how to protect myself from any of the slander, emotional, and physical abuse that my mom may try to force upon me, as the government would now be on my side. I know that at least Michael and Annalisa were happier in Florida as well (I haven't asked Nicolette). Then again, because they are younger, I know that it would be better for them to be brought up in a traditional home. As reality would have it, for every pro, there is a con, and vice versa. What's best for me isn't necessarily better for my brother and sisters. In contrast, living here is extrordinarily painful for me whie beneficial to them.
If home is where the heart is, I never really moved. And both symbolically and literally, I do have a broken home. While I can outwardly adjust here, there is an everpresent knkot in my stomach -- a feeling of anxiety that, even after five months, is as painful as it was that night that I learned I was leaving.
Maybe I should just suck it up and stop thinking about it. After all, I do believe that people have no right to complain about something unless they're trying to change it. That, however, leaves me with a need to reevaluate that: What is someone is trying unsuccessfully to change something? Should they still let it bother them?
True, I can change this ...but not without an equally damaging effect.