Loneliness is most horrific...
Okay, so I am overdue for a vacation due to added stresses and constant worrying along with completely mad boredom of deployments. So my sister, who seems to have a happy life with friends and boyfriend (boy how these gals take their men for granted)gets to go on 3 vacations in a damn row. The biggest being Disneyworld. I cannot say I am so jealous of that even though I am obsessed with disney. My ideal vacation at the moment is anywhere the fuck with my husband. Deployments are soooo stressful. So I do not understand why I seem to be getting the shit end of the stick. I just sit there and nod with that little grin on my face as my sister is raving how badly she needs a vacation after working 30 hours a week and getting wasted every other night. My grin is simply imagining how the hell I want to beat the shit out of her. Ahh but the best part is I am going up north next week for a week. I love up north, it is my childhood cabin that never gets old and has so many stories. Last year I got the priveledge to take hubbies and family up north. We fought most of the time but I would so gladly settle for that now. Now my sisters are coming up with their significant others for the weekend and if it was anything like mothers day...then they need to grow up. I may be a mother, and I understand being excluded from normal fun things. However, this is deployment we are talking about and I am back in a place where chaos lead my life once upon a time. Now everything and everyone has died. Unfortunatley, my mother is still the same. It is common sense that to cheer a depressed person you'd include them, right? So now I'm stuck in this vacation with the generations. My grandma having alzeimers and repeats the same question over and over and over every 45 seconds. She is not who I worry about, because I love Babcia far too much too show any sign of impatience for something she cannot help. Besides, all my impatience is concentrated somewhere else. Kaylen should have fun all week. I always get excited to see her new reactions to new things. Like me and my geekiness too I have to bring a disney puzzle. Not that it matters about having any friends left! Not unless you are any army wife you're not good enough, hahha, just kidding...I think.