About me ...yes it will be boring, but its my last one!
I have decided to make this my last journal entry for a long time. No one reads it anyway, but the main purpose of why im doing it, is because I found out people are looking at my journal and judging me for my words and actions. My journal is a place for me to vent, a place where I can be myself and expect my ‘real” (if I have any) friends to read it and respect me, not turn it around and hold things against me. So here’s me, No need to judge because im letting it all out! Nothing to hide anymore! And If I step on your toes and hurt your feelings I will not apologize because I am sick of stepping on egg shells for people.
I am the type of person that likes things done my way. I always get jealous when someone has what I want. My out look on life is, I’m here to please myself, my family and the friends that care about me. I don’t care if people don’t like me because I choose not to spend a lot of money on clothing, and I don’t shop at the most expensive store. Clothes and the way I look, does not make me who I am. I have a HUGE problem with some white girls; I love them to death, but the ones that I know are so caught up in themselves and they have to be the center of attention and when they are upset they just have to let the WHOLE world know just so that they can get sympathy. And the ones I know pretend to be your friend, but really they are only care about that “circle” of friends that talk crap behind their backs, but yet you still love them to death. (I’m not saying I am racist, because duh my boyfriend is white, but things white girls and white girls do annoy me) When it comes to dating I look for someone who makes me happy. I am with Jesse, we don’t need a label or he doesn’t need to officially ask me out, I just know that’s who I am with, and he knows he is with me. I don’t go out and party and drink. I will not lie I have drank before, but there’s not a lot of fun in it. I have just as much fun sober as I would drunk, and besides I will remember everything that has happened. I’m not saying I will never drink again, but as of right now I don’t. I don’t have sex, it’s no ones business anyways, but since I received an email on my actions I want to set the record straight. I am not having sex; I am not doing anything that involves sexual activity. I don’t plan on doing anything either. Jesse knows all of this, and he respects me for it. Yes I do smoke, yes I know it is bad for me, I will quit when I want to, and I have tried to quit before but it is a habit, and when you found something that you can easily transfer your anger to, you do it. For example, when I am upset, I just go grab a cigarette. No it does not make the pain go away, but it calms me down. I am only 18; I have never once said I was perfect. I know that I will never be perfect. I live my life day to day. I don’t worry about tomorrow because then my life would really be screwed up. I hate it when people who just read something about me assume they know ever aspect of my life. No one on this earth knows everything about me…and that because I don’t trust people. It has nothing against my friends, but one way or another all my friends have backstabbed me, therefore I just keep my mouth shut about certain things. I know that I have hurt my friends in the past, like I said I am not perfect. I was told by someone in my church, that the youth group basically hates me. Well that’s too bad for you. I’m not of your age so it doesn’t really bother me. Hate me all you want, but you better not put on a front when I approach you and try to act like my friend! I have maybe 3 close friends then I have associates. That is by my choice. Like I said I don’t trust people and as it’s been said “the more friends you have the more problems you have” But anyways, that’s basically all I have to say. Like I said, I’m not going to be on this thing, because really people I don’t know don’t have a reason to read into my life!
I am the type of person that likes things done my way. I always get jealous when someone has what I want. My out look on life is, I’m here to please myself, my family and the friends that care about me. I don’t care if people don’t like me because I choose not to spend a lot of money on clothing, and I don’t shop at the most expensive store. Clothes and the way I look, does not make me who I am. I have a HUGE problem with some white girls; I love them to death, but the ones that I know are so caught up in themselves and they have to be the center of attention and when they are upset they just have to let the WHOLE world know just so that they can get sympathy. And the ones I know pretend to be your friend, but really they are only care about that “circle” of friends that talk crap behind their backs, but yet you still love them to death. (I’m not saying I am racist, because duh my boyfriend is white, but things white girls and white girls do annoy me) When it comes to dating I look for someone who makes me happy. I am with Jesse, we don’t need a label or he doesn’t need to officially ask me out, I just know that’s who I am with, and he knows he is with me. I don’t go out and party and drink. I will not lie I have drank before, but there’s not a lot of fun in it. I have just as much fun sober as I would drunk, and besides I will remember everything that has happened. I’m not saying I will never drink again, but as of right now I don’t. I don’t have sex, it’s no ones business anyways, but since I received an email on my actions I want to set the record straight. I am not having sex; I am not doing anything that involves sexual activity. I don’t plan on doing anything either. Jesse knows all of this, and he respects me for it. Yes I do smoke, yes I know it is bad for me, I will quit when I want to, and I have tried to quit before but it is a habit, and when you found something that you can easily transfer your anger to, you do it. For example, when I am upset, I just go grab a cigarette. No it does not make the pain go away, but it calms me down. I am only 18; I have never once said I was perfect. I know that I will never be perfect. I live my life day to day. I don’t worry about tomorrow because then my life would really be screwed up. I hate it when people who just read something about me assume they know ever aspect of my life. No one on this earth knows everything about me…and that because I don’t trust people. It has nothing against my friends, but one way or another all my friends have backstabbed me, therefore I just keep my mouth shut about certain things. I know that I have hurt my friends in the past, like I said I am not perfect. I was told by someone in my church, that the youth group basically hates me. Well that’s too bad for you. I’m not of your age so it doesn’t really bother me. Hate me all you want, but you better not put on a front when I approach you and try to act like my friend! I have maybe 3 close friends then I have associates. That is by my choice. Like I said I don’t trust people and as it’s been said “the more friends you have the more problems you have” But anyways, that’s basically all I have to say. Like I said, I’m not going to be on this thing, because really people I don’t know don’t have a reason to read into my life!