Return [SiChul] [1/4]
Title: Return (1/4)
Pairing: SiChul
Rating: PG-13 (later Nc-17)
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: HeeChul can't pretend being in love with SiWon if this aren't his true feelings. He wants more than just cuddling, but SiWon isn't ready. So HeeChul threatens to break up.
AN: This is a very belated birthday fic for rawrrrstar. Sorry dear for being that late. I still love you and I hope, you can forgive me. I'm not very happy with this, because I couldn't think of anything better...I had to split it...it was more than I thought I would write...:) I only guessed: might be 4 parts, or 5...? We'll see :D I'll update soon ^^
SiWon kissed HeeChul gently. A bright smile was plastered on his face afterwards and HeeChul returned it faintly.
SiWon ignored the fact that HeeChul obviously wasn't happy. He wasn't sure if the older one would even tell him about it anyway. So he didn't want to bother and ask. He knew, if he was rejected, he surely would be hurt, and he didn't want to be upset right now.
"See you later, hyung," SiWon said softly and hugged him briefly, before he left his boyfriend's apartment.
HeeChul looked after him with a sad smile. He wasn't happy. Not only because of SiWon. He just felt lonely.
He had been dating SiWon for almost two months now. HeeChul hadn't been in love with him at first, but the younger one had finally found the courage to confess and he had looked so down when he had noticed HeeChul's eyes back then, telling him that he would be rejected. SiWon had even shed some tears and HeeChul had found himself agreeing to become his lover. It had been just out of pity at first, but now, he did love the other one a lot, too. Their love was mutual, but HeeChul wasn't as happy as before anymore.
A week after they had started dating, HeeChul had realized how much he liked the younger one. He had fallen for him, probably, but that didn't help him from feeling miserable right now.
He sighed and sat down, putting his face in his hands, slowly sinking down to fully lie down on the floor.
When HeeChul looked up the next time, SiWon was carrying him through the hallway.
HeeChul was startled and struggled in surprise. He couldn't understand what was going on. He had been on the ground and SiWon had left to go home.
"I forgot my phone. I rang the door bell, but you didn't open, so I used the spare key. Just close your eyes once again, hyung. I'm taking you to your bed, so you can sleep there. It will be more comfortable than the floor," SiWon whispered gently and laid him down on the mattress.
HeeChul blinked and looked up in surprise. "What?"
"You had been sleeping, hyung," SiWon explained with a small smile. "Now, rest well, hyung. Good night," he said. Their eyes met. HeeChul didn't know if SiWon noticed them being empty and just chose to ignore it.
"I love you, hyung," SiWon then admitted. His voice was calm and soothing and it made HeeChul's heart flutter, but he wasn't able to return those words. He didn't know why.
SiWon just left.
HeeChul sighed sadly. He didn't know what to do and it made him crazy. He almost never had this feeling of hopelessness. It almost never happened that he didn't know what to do.
But he was too tired to think of this now, so he just closed his eyes and let sleep take over.
When HeeChul woke up the next morning, he found himself in a tight embrace. He opened his eyes and stared at the face of a peacefully sleeping Choi SiWon.
HeeChul was shocked at first, but then smiled slightly. His lover looked happy. He looked carefree and calm. It wasn't the first time that SiWon had come over once again and spend the night with HeeChul, embracing him happily. SiWon did this often, especially if he had the feeling that HeeChul was sad.
The older one was relieved because he knew that SiWon knew that something was up. HeeChul had been worrying about it the whole time and how to hide it, because he didn't want to hurt SiWon. He didn't even blame the younger one. SiWon used to give without wanting something in return, and that was an important factor in their relationship, because HeeChul was just like that, he needed someone who took good care of him and adored him, gave him everything and treated him like a princess. But it wasn't the only thing that mattered for HeeChul.
Soon, SiWon woke up as well. He looked at his boyfriend and immediately started to smile. HeeChul knew he was hiding the fact that he knew.
SiWon greeted HeeChul with a peck on the lips. "Good morning," he said softly and went for another, deeper kiss. He didn't need to explain himself and why he was in HeeChul's bed right now.
HeeChul responded, but it hurt himself, that he hadn't the same feelings as before anymore. There was not this special prickling anymore. He didn't want to say, he felt nothing, because it wasn't exactly true. He was happy. He liked kissing after all.
"Chullie, you're so beautiful," SiWon whispered quietly and leaned down for another kiss, wrapping his arms even tighter around the older one's body.
HeeChul just smiled mysteriously, but avoided the kiss through turning his head away.
SiWon looked at him in wonder and hurt.
HeeChul inspected him. He smiled apologetically, then leaned up for a quick peck to the cheek, before he said, "Let's get up."
He pushed SiWon away and ran out of the room, so the other one couldn't even protest.
SiWon watched him, and as soon as his lover had left the room, his smile faded and he sighed sadly. He wanted the old HeeChul back. The old HeeChul had been sweet and romantic. It wasn't like him now. These days, it happened more often than not that the older one avoided affection. He avoided SiWon.
SiWon patiently waited for his boyfriend to leave the shower. Finally, he came out of the bathroom.
SiWon forced a smile, as if nothing was wrong. HeeChul hesitantly returned it.
He wanted to go past SiWon to his room, but the other one stopped him by his wrist. He held it firmly and pulled HeeChul with him back into the bathroom, before locking the door. Somewhere in the next room of HeeChul's apartment stayed HeeChul's sister HeeJin, and he didn't want her to disturb them after all.
HeeChul looked at him in surprise, ready to yell at him, but all of a sudden, a smirk formed on his lips.
SiWon stared at him in confusion, not understanding what was going on right now.
When HeeChul realized that SiWon was confused, he lifted his eyebrows expectantly.
SiWon hesitated. He felt insecure because he just couldn't understand the reason.
"So?" HeeChul eventually asked, taking a step closer toward the younger one.
SiWon was almost shocked as HeeChul reached for his chest and lifted his shirt up for better access.
SiWon wasn't used to situations like this. In fact, he had never gone any further than simply making out with HeeChul. He hadn't even seen him naked yet.
HeeChul realized that SiWon was too confused to respond to any of his touches right now, so this was not what he had intended with locking them up in the bathroom. HeeChul backed away, let go of the younger one and made some room between them, impatiently waiting for what SiWon was having in mind.
SiWon slowed his breath down until it was even once again, before he finally spoke up. "You changed a lot, Chullie," he began. His voice was still gentle, even though the meaning of the sentence was negative.
"How did you come to that conclusion?" HeeChul asked composedly. He didn't show much emotion, but he knew that SiWon was right. He just couldn't hide his true personality. Just to please SiWon because he had felt pity for him, he had tried to be what he had wanted, but it was impossible for him now.
"You...don't like it when I take you out and alcohol isn't included. You don't like romantic dinners anymore. You don't spend your time with me anymore, if you don't have to. It's always me who comes to you. It's never your idea. And...you're avoiding me. Not only me, but you just ignore my feelings," SiWon admitted what he was truely feeling.
HeeChul sighed silently. He hadn't wanted this after all, but now, it was time to be honest. SiWon deserved to know the truth.
"Listen, SiWon," HeeChul started slowly. He sighed in exasperation. "I don't want you to hurt. But I know you'll do so. SiWon, you are right. In your opinion, I did change, but actually, I'm just being myself. I'm not made for these kind of relationships. I'm not the romantic kind of type. Not at all. Not like this. I usually don't do relationships, but if I do, I need something else than this. I get bored easily. I need someone who is just as thrilled with adventure and experience new, better things as me. SiWon, I do love you, but I can't continue like this."
SiWon stared at him, helplessly. He didn't know what to do. He had been afraid of these kind of things and now, they were coming true.
"At least tell me the whole truth. You don't even love me," SiWon mumbled sadly.
"SiWon, I do. It's just...that I need something more. I don't want to just cuddle a little bit and kiss. I want more. I need more," HeeChul admitted quietly. He observed SiWon carefully, trying to figure out what he should do now. "But...I can't do it. I'm not ready for it yet," SiWon whispered in insecurety.
HeeChul nodded understandingly. "I know, and it's okay, SiWon. But..." And with hearing this but, SiWon's heart broke into tiny pieces. HeeChul continued nonetheless. "let's end this here. I think we just aren't made for each other. We are so different. It just can't work out."
And before SiWon could stop himself, his tears streamed already down his cheeks.
HeeChul couldn't stand seeing the other one like this. It hurt him as well. "Shh, please, SiWon, don't cry. Please, don't," he pleaded quietly. SiWon looked up and their gazes met. SiWon looked pityful, when he begged. "Hyung, please, don't. Don't leave me. You know I love you. More than you could ever imagine. Don't leave. Let's just take some time off, but don't break up with me."
HeeChul hated himself for becoming weak. He wondered when it had started, this addiction to the younger boy, whom he just couldn't resist.
HeeChul hesitated. He wished, he was able to find a good solution, but he didn't. He only agreed in the end. "Fine. Just some time for ourselves for now. But...there is still one thing,,,"
"What is it?" SiWon immediately asked. He would do almost everything for his beloved hyung.
"I will visit clubs. I will have fun again. I will enjoy my life and live the way I want. We'll still be together, but I need something more...," HeeChul explained.
SiWon was shocked.
"Otherwise, I'll break up with you, SiWon," HeeChul warned and so, SiWon had no other chance than to agree, even though he hated this. He didn't want to have to share his hyung.
HeeChul smiled and patted the younger one's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sorry, SiWon. I really don't want to hurt you, but I can't not be myself anymore. It's hurting me as well," he stated carefully. He usually wouldn't say these words to anyone, but this time, he did, because he knew the other one was hurting and he did love SiWon still.
"It's better that you go now, SiWonnie," HeeChul finally whispered and opened the bathroom door. SiWon nodded emotionlessly and quickly went past HeeChul and out of the apartment.
HeeChul looked after him with a sad smile. He couldn't have avoided this forever anyway, he just thought and then, his smile widened at the thought of his new won freedom. He surely would take advantage of that now.
So HeeChul looked at the clock. He went to work. But while working, he couldn't help but think of SiWon. It were not the usual thought of before. He wasn't thinking how much he adored the younger one. It were only sad thoughts.
And to get rid of these bothering thoughts, HeeChul decided to visit his favorite club. While dancing, pressed to other bodies tightly, SiWon sat in his room by himself, thinking about the things, he did wrong that caused them to be like this.
He couldn't understand this. Why did they change so much these psat weeks? HeeChul had admitted it, and he had also said, that he was just himself right now. So this was the true HeeChul. But, as much as SiWon didn't want to anymore, he was still in love.
Tears silently fell. He missed HeeChul so much. He just didn't know what to do to make the older one love him back again.
Maybe, it was better when they indeed ended it right now, SiWon wondered, but threw his thought out of his head immediately. He couldn't stand this. He was too in love to let go now. All of a sudden, he felt the urge to talk to HeeChul. He wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to say, but he needed to see the other one, and so, SiWon wiped his tears away and stood up. He got his jacket and put on his shoes before he ran off.
He reached HeeChul's apartment within twenty minutes by foot and rang the door bell. SiWon waited patiently, and finally, the door was opened by HeeChul's sister.
SiWon greeted her with a small friendly smile. "Hey, can I come in? Is HeeChul there?" he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat that made it hard for him to talk.
HeeJin returned the smile, though hers was brighter and happier. "Of course you can come in, but my brother isn't home yet. I think, he'll come soon," she stated and stepped back for SiWon to enter the apartment.
SiWon hesitated, but because the urge to talk with his boyfriend was too big, he decided to wait for him. So he came in and sat down on the couch in the little living room. "Thank you."
HeeJin nodded. "Do you want anything while you're waiting? Something to eat or drink?" she asked, but SiWon shook his head.
He chose to wait because he felt that they relationship was already broken enough. He didn't want to risk losing HeeChul.
HeeJin hesitated, before she spoke up again. "You can stay here and watch tv or something, if it's okay? I'm going to my room. I have my boyfriend over," she announced with a grin and blushed a little bit. "If you want anything, you can come to me, okay?" she asked and SiWon nodded, looking after her leaving figure.
He surely wouldn't ask for anything now, that he knew that she was in there with her boyfriend. SiWon shivered at the thought of what exactly he could walk in on them. No, he wouldn't go there if it wasn't for the house burning down or anything drastic.
SiWon kept on waiting patiently. His thoughts tortured him the whole time. His heart was racing. He was so afraid to lose his lover that he loved so much. He probably had already lost him anyway, but SiWon wanted to hold on at any prize.
Suddenly, the front door was opened. SiWon stood up. It had to be HeeChul.
SiWon gulped and headed for the doorway. But he stopped when he heard voices, two voices to be exact. One of the voices belonged to a girl. SiWon's heart sank and he tensed visibly when HeeChul came in sight, followed by a girl that clung onto him. They were giggling. The girl was pretty, but not as pretty and beautiful as HeeChul, SiWon thought.
HeeChul stopped at the sight of his boyfriend in front of him. Their eyes met.
SiWon's eyes reflected fear, desperation and even more sadness. He was a little bit shocked, too.
HeeChul, on the other hand, just stared at him emotionlessly. The girl was still holding onto him tightly and SiWon was jealous as hell, but he wouldn't admit it right now.
The younger one didn't know what to do or how to react, so HeeChul did first. "What are you doing here, SiWon?"
Pairing: SiChul
Rating: PG-13 (later Nc-17)
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: HeeChul can't pretend being in love with SiWon if this aren't his true feelings. He wants more than just cuddling, but SiWon isn't ready. So HeeChul threatens to break up.
AN: This is a very belated birthday fic for rawrrrstar. Sorry dear for being that late. I still love you and I hope, you can forgive me. I'm not very happy with this, because I couldn't think of anything better...I had to split it...it was more than I thought I would write...:) I only guessed: might be 4 parts, or 5...? We'll see :D I'll update soon ^^
SiWon kissed HeeChul gently. A bright smile was plastered on his face afterwards and HeeChul returned it faintly.
SiWon ignored the fact that HeeChul obviously wasn't happy. He wasn't sure if the older one would even tell him about it anyway. So he didn't want to bother and ask. He knew, if he was rejected, he surely would be hurt, and he didn't want to be upset right now.
"See you later, hyung," SiWon said softly and hugged him briefly, before he left his boyfriend's apartment.
HeeChul looked after him with a sad smile. He wasn't happy. Not only because of SiWon. He just felt lonely.
He had been dating SiWon for almost two months now. HeeChul hadn't been in love with him at first, but the younger one had finally found the courage to confess and he had looked so down when he had noticed HeeChul's eyes back then, telling him that he would be rejected. SiWon had even shed some tears and HeeChul had found himself agreeing to become his lover. It had been just out of pity at first, but now, he did love the other one a lot, too. Their love was mutual, but HeeChul wasn't as happy as before anymore.
A week after they had started dating, HeeChul had realized how much he liked the younger one. He had fallen for him, probably, but that didn't help him from feeling miserable right now.
He sighed and sat down, putting his face in his hands, slowly sinking down to fully lie down on the floor.
When HeeChul looked up the next time, SiWon was carrying him through the hallway.
HeeChul was startled and struggled in surprise. He couldn't understand what was going on. He had been on the ground and SiWon had left to go home.
"I forgot my phone. I rang the door bell, but you didn't open, so I used the spare key. Just close your eyes once again, hyung. I'm taking you to your bed, so you can sleep there. It will be more comfortable than the floor," SiWon whispered gently and laid him down on the mattress.
HeeChul blinked and looked up in surprise. "What?"
"You had been sleeping, hyung," SiWon explained with a small smile. "Now, rest well, hyung. Good night," he said. Their eyes met. HeeChul didn't know if SiWon noticed them being empty and just chose to ignore it.
"I love you, hyung," SiWon then admitted. His voice was calm and soothing and it made HeeChul's heart flutter, but he wasn't able to return those words. He didn't know why.
SiWon just left.
HeeChul sighed sadly. He didn't know what to do and it made him crazy. He almost never had this feeling of hopelessness. It almost never happened that he didn't know what to do.
But he was too tired to think of this now, so he just closed his eyes and let sleep take over.
When HeeChul woke up the next morning, he found himself in a tight embrace. He opened his eyes and stared at the face of a peacefully sleeping Choi SiWon.
HeeChul was shocked at first, but then smiled slightly. His lover looked happy. He looked carefree and calm. It wasn't the first time that SiWon had come over once again and spend the night with HeeChul, embracing him happily. SiWon did this often, especially if he had the feeling that HeeChul was sad.
The older one was relieved because he knew that SiWon knew that something was up. HeeChul had been worrying about it the whole time and how to hide it, because he didn't want to hurt SiWon. He didn't even blame the younger one. SiWon used to give without wanting something in return, and that was an important factor in their relationship, because HeeChul was just like that, he needed someone who took good care of him and adored him, gave him everything and treated him like a princess. But it wasn't the only thing that mattered for HeeChul.
Soon, SiWon woke up as well. He looked at his boyfriend and immediately started to smile. HeeChul knew he was hiding the fact that he knew.
SiWon greeted HeeChul with a peck on the lips. "Good morning," he said softly and went for another, deeper kiss. He didn't need to explain himself and why he was in HeeChul's bed right now.
HeeChul responded, but it hurt himself, that he hadn't the same feelings as before anymore. There was not this special prickling anymore. He didn't want to say, he felt nothing, because it wasn't exactly true. He was happy. He liked kissing after all.
"Chullie, you're so beautiful," SiWon whispered quietly and leaned down for another kiss, wrapping his arms even tighter around the older one's body.
HeeChul just smiled mysteriously, but avoided the kiss through turning his head away.
SiWon looked at him in wonder and hurt.
HeeChul inspected him. He smiled apologetically, then leaned up for a quick peck to the cheek, before he said, "Let's get up."
He pushed SiWon away and ran out of the room, so the other one couldn't even protest.
SiWon watched him, and as soon as his lover had left the room, his smile faded and he sighed sadly. He wanted the old HeeChul back. The old HeeChul had been sweet and romantic. It wasn't like him now. These days, it happened more often than not that the older one avoided affection. He avoided SiWon.
SiWon patiently waited for his boyfriend to leave the shower. Finally, he came out of the bathroom.
SiWon forced a smile, as if nothing was wrong. HeeChul hesitantly returned it.
He wanted to go past SiWon to his room, but the other one stopped him by his wrist. He held it firmly and pulled HeeChul with him back into the bathroom, before locking the door. Somewhere in the next room of HeeChul's apartment stayed HeeChul's sister HeeJin, and he didn't want her to disturb them after all.
HeeChul looked at him in surprise, ready to yell at him, but all of a sudden, a smirk formed on his lips.
SiWon stared at him in confusion, not understanding what was going on right now.
When HeeChul realized that SiWon was confused, he lifted his eyebrows expectantly.
SiWon hesitated. He felt insecure because he just couldn't understand the reason.
"So?" HeeChul eventually asked, taking a step closer toward the younger one.
SiWon was almost shocked as HeeChul reached for his chest and lifted his shirt up for better access.
SiWon wasn't used to situations like this. In fact, he had never gone any further than simply making out with HeeChul. He hadn't even seen him naked yet.
HeeChul realized that SiWon was too confused to respond to any of his touches right now, so this was not what he had intended with locking them up in the bathroom. HeeChul backed away, let go of the younger one and made some room between them, impatiently waiting for what SiWon was having in mind.
SiWon slowed his breath down until it was even once again, before he finally spoke up. "You changed a lot, Chullie," he began. His voice was still gentle, even though the meaning of the sentence was negative.
"How did you come to that conclusion?" HeeChul asked composedly. He didn't show much emotion, but he knew that SiWon was right. He just couldn't hide his true personality. Just to please SiWon because he had felt pity for him, he had tried to be what he had wanted, but it was impossible for him now.
"You...don't like it when I take you out and alcohol isn't included. You don't like romantic dinners anymore. You don't spend your time with me anymore, if you don't have to. It's always me who comes to you. It's never your idea. And...you're avoiding me. Not only me, but you just ignore my feelings," SiWon admitted what he was truely feeling.
HeeChul sighed silently. He hadn't wanted this after all, but now, it was time to be honest. SiWon deserved to know the truth.
"Listen, SiWon," HeeChul started slowly. He sighed in exasperation. "I don't want you to hurt. But I know you'll do so. SiWon, you are right. In your opinion, I did change, but actually, I'm just being myself. I'm not made for these kind of relationships. I'm not the romantic kind of type. Not at all. Not like this. I usually don't do relationships, but if I do, I need something else than this. I get bored easily. I need someone who is just as thrilled with adventure and experience new, better things as me. SiWon, I do love you, but I can't continue like this."
SiWon stared at him, helplessly. He didn't know what to do. He had been afraid of these kind of things and now, they were coming true.
"At least tell me the whole truth. You don't even love me," SiWon mumbled sadly.
"SiWon, I do. It's just...that I need something more. I don't want to just cuddle a little bit and kiss. I want more. I need more," HeeChul admitted quietly. He observed SiWon carefully, trying to figure out what he should do now. "But...I can't do it. I'm not ready for it yet," SiWon whispered in insecurety.
HeeChul nodded understandingly. "I know, and it's okay, SiWon. But..." And with hearing this but, SiWon's heart broke into tiny pieces. HeeChul continued nonetheless. "let's end this here. I think we just aren't made for each other. We are so different. It just can't work out."
And before SiWon could stop himself, his tears streamed already down his cheeks.
HeeChul couldn't stand seeing the other one like this. It hurt him as well. "Shh, please, SiWon, don't cry. Please, don't," he pleaded quietly. SiWon looked up and their gazes met. SiWon looked pityful, when he begged. "Hyung, please, don't. Don't leave me. You know I love you. More than you could ever imagine. Don't leave. Let's just take some time off, but don't break up with me."
HeeChul hated himself for becoming weak. He wondered when it had started, this addiction to the younger boy, whom he just couldn't resist.
HeeChul hesitated. He wished, he was able to find a good solution, but he didn't. He only agreed in the end. "Fine. Just some time for ourselves for now. But...there is still one thing,,,"
"What is it?" SiWon immediately asked. He would do almost everything for his beloved hyung.
"I will visit clubs. I will have fun again. I will enjoy my life and live the way I want. We'll still be together, but I need something more...," HeeChul explained.
SiWon was shocked.
"Otherwise, I'll break up with you, SiWon," HeeChul warned and so, SiWon had no other chance than to agree, even though he hated this. He didn't want to have to share his hyung.
HeeChul smiled and patted the younger one's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sorry, SiWon. I really don't want to hurt you, but I can't not be myself anymore. It's hurting me as well," he stated carefully. He usually wouldn't say these words to anyone, but this time, he did, because he knew the other one was hurting and he did love SiWon still.
"It's better that you go now, SiWonnie," HeeChul finally whispered and opened the bathroom door. SiWon nodded emotionlessly and quickly went past HeeChul and out of the apartment.
HeeChul looked after him with a sad smile. He couldn't have avoided this forever anyway, he just thought and then, his smile widened at the thought of his new won freedom. He surely would take advantage of that now.
So HeeChul looked at the clock. He went to work. But while working, he couldn't help but think of SiWon. It were not the usual thought of before. He wasn't thinking how much he adored the younger one. It were only sad thoughts.
And to get rid of these bothering thoughts, HeeChul decided to visit his favorite club. While dancing, pressed to other bodies tightly, SiWon sat in his room by himself, thinking about the things, he did wrong that caused them to be like this.
He couldn't understand this. Why did they change so much these psat weeks? HeeChul had admitted it, and he had also said, that he was just himself right now. So this was the true HeeChul. But, as much as SiWon didn't want to anymore, he was still in love.
Tears silently fell. He missed HeeChul so much. He just didn't know what to do to make the older one love him back again.
Maybe, it was better when they indeed ended it right now, SiWon wondered, but threw his thought out of his head immediately. He couldn't stand this. He was too in love to let go now. All of a sudden, he felt the urge to talk to HeeChul. He wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to say, but he needed to see the other one, and so, SiWon wiped his tears away and stood up. He got his jacket and put on his shoes before he ran off.
He reached HeeChul's apartment within twenty minutes by foot and rang the door bell. SiWon waited patiently, and finally, the door was opened by HeeChul's sister.
SiWon greeted her with a small friendly smile. "Hey, can I come in? Is HeeChul there?" he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat that made it hard for him to talk.
HeeJin returned the smile, though hers was brighter and happier. "Of course you can come in, but my brother isn't home yet. I think, he'll come soon," she stated and stepped back for SiWon to enter the apartment.
SiWon hesitated, but because the urge to talk with his boyfriend was too big, he decided to wait for him. So he came in and sat down on the couch in the little living room. "Thank you."
HeeJin nodded. "Do you want anything while you're waiting? Something to eat or drink?" she asked, but SiWon shook his head.
He chose to wait because he felt that they relationship was already broken enough. He didn't want to risk losing HeeChul.
HeeJin hesitated, before she spoke up again. "You can stay here and watch tv or something, if it's okay? I'm going to my room. I have my boyfriend over," she announced with a grin and blushed a little bit. "If you want anything, you can come to me, okay?" she asked and SiWon nodded, looking after her leaving figure.
He surely wouldn't ask for anything now, that he knew that she was in there with her boyfriend. SiWon shivered at the thought of what exactly he could walk in on them. No, he wouldn't go there if it wasn't for the house burning down or anything drastic.
SiWon kept on waiting patiently. His thoughts tortured him the whole time. His heart was racing. He was so afraid to lose his lover that he loved so much. He probably had already lost him anyway, but SiWon wanted to hold on at any prize.
Suddenly, the front door was opened. SiWon stood up. It had to be HeeChul.
SiWon gulped and headed for the doorway. But he stopped when he heard voices, two voices to be exact. One of the voices belonged to a girl. SiWon's heart sank and he tensed visibly when HeeChul came in sight, followed by a girl that clung onto him. They were giggling. The girl was pretty, but not as pretty and beautiful as HeeChul, SiWon thought.
HeeChul stopped at the sight of his boyfriend in front of him. Their eyes met.
SiWon's eyes reflected fear, desperation and even more sadness. He was a little bit shocked, too.
HeeChul, on the other hand, just stared at him emotionlessly. The girl was still holding onto him tightly and SiWon was jealous as hell, but he wouldn't admit it right now.
The younger one didn't know what to do or how to react, so HeeChul did first. "What are you doing here, SiWon?"