Once upon a December
So lots of shit lately...Still dont know if I am goind to school. Whatever, I'm done stressing over there. This whole drama shit with everyone has just gotten out of hand. Its gotten to the point where I dont even WANT to try to make it work. It just doesnt feel worth it to me. Why surround myself with such negativity? I mean of course I still care, because how cant I? Thats just who I am. Oh well my mistake as a human being. Whatever. "You piss me off, goodbye" Wish that was me...though as each day passes I feel that is what I am becoming. Maybe I have learned to not care when ppl are being assholes. And of course I know it will be all put on me.I am not here saying that I am not guilty at all. Nope guilty as charged, they are right I dont invite Niki anywhere, and I dont call Hethaer anymore. BUT, they dont either. "thats the pot calling the kettle black" to use an oldie. That just pisses me off. How can you say those things about me and get yourself all worked up about it, but just forget to take a look at yourself? It also pisses me off when Niki brings other ppl into it to prove her point. If your argument is so strong, then there is no reason for other ppl to be brought into it. Its foolish and childish, and im fuckin done with it. "Oh well EVERYONe says it" What the fuck?? WHo is everyone??? name some names, go ahead, and gee when I talk to them, they look at me with 2 heads and ask where I got that. Ok maybe they are lying to me, but whatever then Niki needs to take that up with them, and then they are no better then she is. And no Im not saying that I am better then ANYONE, because I certainly dont think that at all. What is wrong with me lately? Yeah Ive been wierd, akward and down. It happens every now and then...Yepp Charity gets depressed...More then anyone thinks actaully. But sometimes Im so sick of wearing this stupid fuckin smile, I just wanna scream outloud, but no, just inside my head(maybe thats why I get headaches? haha) Im not now...Just...wierd. I dont know there are just so many things goin on at once I dont have time to think about how I feel about them really.
Like this whole issue with my cousin. I honestly have no desire to talk to her. Any time in the future. Its true, Im a bitch. I honestly have been thinking of not attending thanksgiving, because what do I want to be there for? What the hell does my family do for me??? Other then my cousins (who im not talking to) NOthing. They dont care, they never will. They are so consummed in their own lives they could give to shits about me. They care more about all the babies, and my other cousins. I've ALWAYS been the outcast in my family. Funny considering I was the first born in 16 years. NO i dont want special treatment, but I would like to be treated better then a disease. and now I can just imagine, because Im sure they all know about my lil hospital visit. SO endless lectures, well ya know what? FUCK OFF. Im dont fuckin listing to you. Go do something with your selves instead of talking endless shit about others in the family (like oh my mother) Lets not completely cut her off or anything. Me and the madre have had our quarrels, our arguments, our wall knocking fights...and true, she wasnt there for me when i was younger, and forced a shit load of responsibility on me at a young age, but things are alrite now, and shes my madre, so how cant I forgive her? My dad is an asshole piece of shit, who I dont wanna see, or meet....and yea my mom has fucked up , but shes learned from her mistakes. There is no need to talk endless shit about her. Im fuckin done with it. Go to helll all of you bitches.
So yeah Im the biggest complainer in the world today I guess...WoW total bitch mode..ok on a better note I shall talk about my WONDERFUL friends who are always there for me. (not saying that the others have never been there for me, because over and over they have...just lately they have been so different, and things have just not been good with them, and though despite all teh wonderful things they have done, I am just not over the shit talking at the moment, so sorry to anyone who reads this and u dont find urself here...because im just angry right now)
Like Cassie...been together since sophmore year, and still the best of friends...went through a couple harsh spots due to other controlling assholes who we cut out. But still my partner in crime, always there for me, we share a similar personality, fight...but always end good...<3 her words cant even say
Bee, Twinny, just met her like a year ago, but soon became one of my best friends....Awesome, caring, another me! Ditzy but in a cute way...<3 her so much, sticks up for me when others wanna run thier mouth... just great
Bethany, Old roomie, WSCer...WOnderful person. Gets shit on more then anyone I know and deserves it the least...Finally learned how to be 20 and not 40 all the time. THe most caring, nice, loving, generous, unselfish person I know. She keeps me grounded ...<3<3 her lots and lots
Shalen, been there since freshman year, been through so many ups and downs, but in the end its always us, and thats the way it should be. <3 her lots, because shes just her. Gets shit on as well, and it just pisses me off, because why do the worst things happen to the best ppl???<3 her no matter how many times we get separated.
Hawaiian, hawaiiinyy!!! Just started chillin this summer, but quickly became an awesome friend. Always there for a good time, no drama its wonderful...Hanging out with him bill chris mollie and cassie and such... its just so good because we can just chill without the fucked up shit and I <3 it...
Sarah, my new roomie(hopefully) always there for me at school and such, helped(along with my groundhog) to make the transition and to help me with all the shit I was going through (i.e. becoming homeless
Like this whole issue with my cousin. I honestly have no desire to talk to her. Any time in the future. Its true, Im a bitch. I honestly have been thinking of not attending thanksgiving, because what do I want to be there for? What the hell does my family do for me??? Other then my cousins (who im not talking to) NOthing. They dont care, they never will. They are so consummed in their own lives they could give to shits about me. They care more about all the babies, and my other cousins. I've ALWAYS been the outcast in my family. Funny considering I was the first born in 16 years. NO i dont want special treatment, but I would like to be treated better then a disease. and now I can just imagine, because Im sure they all know about my lil hospital visit. SO endless lectures, well ya know what? FUCK OFF. Im dont fuckin listing to you. Go do something with your selves instead of talking endless shit about others in the family (like oh my mother) Lets not completely cut her off or anything. Me and the madre have had our quarrels, our arguments, our wall knocking fights...and true, she wasnt there for me when i was younger, and forced a shit load of responsibility on me at a young age, but things are alrite now, and shes my madre, so how cant I forgive her? My dad is an asshole piece of shit, who I dont wanna see, or meet....and yea my mom has fucked up , but shes learned from her mistakes. There is no need to talk endless shit about her. Im fuckin done with it. Go to helll all of you bitches.
So yeah Im the biggest complainer in the world today I guess...WoW total bitch mode..ok on a better note I shall talk about my WONDERFUL friends who are always there for me. (not saying that the others have never been there for me, because over and over they have...just lately they have been so different, and things have just not been good with them, and though despite all teh wonderful things they have done, I am just not over the shit talking at the moment, so sorry to anyone who reads this and u dont find urself here...because im just angry right now)
Like Cassie...been together since sophmore year, and still the best of friends...went through a couple harsh spots due to other controlling assholes who we cut out. But still my partner in crime, always there for me, we share a similar personality, fight...but always end good...<3 her words cant even say
Bee, Twinny, just met her like a year ago, but soon became one of my best friends....Awesome, caring, another me! Ditzy but in a cute way...<3 her so much, sticks up for me when others wanna run thier mouth... just great
Bethany, Old roomie, WSCer...WOnderful person. Gets shit on more then anyone I know and deserves it the least...Finally learned how to be 20 and not 40 all the time. THe most caring, nice, loving, generous, unselfish person I know. She keeps me grounded ...<3<3 her lots and lots
Shalen, been there since freshman year, been through so many ups and downs, but in the end its always us, and thats the way it should be. <3 her lots, because shes just her. Gets shit on as well, and it just pisses me off, because why do the worst things happen to the best ppl???<3 her no matter how many times we get separated.
Hawaiian, hawaiiinyy!!! Just started chillin this summer, but quickly became an awesome friend. Always there for a good time, no drama its wonderful...Hanging out with him bill chris mollie and cassie and such... its just so good because we can just chill without the fucked up shit and I <3 it...
Sarah, my new roomie(hopefully) always there for me at school and such, helped(along with my groundhog) to make the transition and to help me with all the shit I was going through (i.e. becoming homeless