I want out of this machine.
I've been thinking again. Thinking about life. Thinking about death. Thinking about money, and lack of it. Thinking of war, and an indescribable, impossible peace. I question my values constantly. I'm on uneven turf, unstable ground. My beliefs are easily shaken, and right now I'm in the final stages, possibly the most important, a mold, ready to harden to be the person I will forever be.
I've come to realize that I'm just another human. I'm one of the billions on the earth. I'm one of the many, and my thoughts are nothing. I, essentially, am nothing. And I know this.
America teaches us self-awareness, we do everything the benefit ourselves. It's me, it's all that matters. Lie. Live that way, see how happy you end up. You are not that great, there is always someone greater than you. You are not the best thing to have ever existed. You will most likely not be a legend, your memory, and the memory of you will die shortly after you do. Get over it.
I've learned that I need to live today. This moment. Live it. Make the best. Do what you need to survive, do what the world requires of you, and then do what you want. Why race to the top, or fight to be the best? Why get bothered by what others have? Why? You'll die soon enough, and it won't matter what you had. So enjoy it.
Heaven. Heaven or no Heaven. I'll believe. Be safe than sorry, right? My faith, as most know, is in the Bible. I hesitate to say Christian, only because of the connotation that Christian has attached to it. I'm not perfect, and I'll be the first to say so. I don't claim to be. I know my faults, and with Christ, I see them, apologize for them, and keep going on.
I don't really know if I have a goal in life yet, I don't know if I ever will. My only expectation of myself is that when I'm dying, hopefully of old age, I'd like to look back and not regret anything. I want to know I lived, and I learned. I'd like to know I made the best of what I had, and hope for a future in heaven.
And heaven. Say it doesn't exist. Then I'll die and it won't matter anyways. Big deal. I would rather have believed in something than nothing.
So I'll read my books, and listen to my songs. I'll talk to people, and experience this odd thing we like to associate with life. But death, if heaven exists, this is only death. I'd like to experience this death, it is after all the only one we get.
I'll be the best human I can be. It's all I can do.
I've come to realize that I'm just another human. I'm one of the billions on the earth. I'm one of the many, and my thoughts are nothing. I, essentially, am nothing. And I know this.
America teaches us self-awareness, we do everything the benefit ourselves. It's me, it's all that matters. Lie. Live that way, see how happy you end up. You are not that great, there is always someone greater than you. You are not the best thing to have ever existed. You will most likely not be a legend, your memory, and the memory of you will die shortly after you do. Get over it.
I've learned that I need to live today. This moment. Live it. Make the best. Do what you need to survive, do what the world requires of you, and then do what you want. Why race to the top, or fight to be the best? Why get bothered by what others have? Why? You'll die soon enough, and it won't matter what you had. So enjoy it.
Heaven. Heaven or no Heaven. I'll believe. Be safe than sorry, right? My faith, as most know, is in the Bible. I hesitate to say Christian, only because of the connotation that Christian has attached to it. I'm not perfect, and I'll be the first to say so. I don't claim to be. I know my faults, and with Christ, I see them, apologize for them, and keep going on.
I don't really know if I have a goal in life yet, I don't know if I ever will. My only expectation of myself is that when I'm dying, hopefully of old age, I'd like to look back and not regret anything. I want to know I lived, and I learned. I'd like to know I made the best of what I had, and hope for a future in heaven.
And heaven. Say it doesn't exist. Then I'll die and it won't matter anyways. Big deal. I would rather have believed in something than nothing.
So I'll read my books, and listen to my songs. I'll talk to people, and experience this odd thing we like to associate with life. But death, if heaven exists, this is only death. I'd like to experience this death, it is after all the only one we get.
I'll be the best human I can be. It's all I can do.