I've relized something
This revelation is unrelated to recent events, not that that matters. I think I need
to be more long-term goal oriented, I need to adopt a less extravagent
lifestyle. I've been living for the moment so much recently that it has
hindered my judgement and made me incapable of discerning between
rational and irrational decisions. How exactly I'm going to go about
this I don't know at this point but I'm going to have a slight change
in perception I know for sure. Instead of going to bed at night and
looking at it as another day lived, I'll look at it as a day less I've
got left to live. Now this
sounds pessimistic, but I think this will help me to better appreciate
life as a whole that will terminate rather than as an ever growing
helix down this mortal coil. Unfortunately I've yet to decide where to
start the change in terms of my daily lifestyle, so if anyone has any
pointers feel free to throw them my way. Maybe I need to pursue my
current ambitions of a career in the arts somewhere, whether it be
musically or though film. Maybe I need a relationship, haven't had one
of those in awhile. I don't know just yet but at least I've finaliazed
my decision for change. Whatever I do at least I can reside in the one
thing that has always pulled me through the worst, it was something
that was told to my mother about me a long time ago, by a person far
more spiritual and knowledgeable than any person I've ever met. "He'll
be alright"